Run 2088 on Wednesday 14 December 2022
Location:- Taling Chan, Prawn Hub
Hare:- Pork Finder
I tried running the seven km yesterday, couldn’t keep up with Mav, Short-Shorts, Bullit, Nok and their late middle-age, late middle of the pack group, got left behind in the dark. I did a few stupid things that put me even further behind and barely able to make out the clumps of white shredded paper. (I forgot my torch. I’d call it early-onset alzheimer’s, but I can’t spell the word.)
In the gathering darkness Yours Truly (YT) followed the trail as it looped back and forth through orchards, eventually coming to a lighted concrete pathway, a ditch on one side and a wall on the other. Nothing to do but follow shreddie in what I hoped was the right direction – east.
I soon came across a young man setting out a bird net, and explained where I wanted to go. We had a bit of a communications problem at first because he thought I was speaking English and I thought he was speaking Thai. Turns out he was Burmese. So we practiced jabbering Thai at each other as he followed me along the path. I guess he felt obliged to help the old codger, steadying me with the occasional hand on my hip. Or he was searching for my wallet.
Then we came across a couple of Thai women, one of whom was aghast that I’d come out of the orchards in the dark – because the area was crawling with cobras. I told her that I ate cobras. (i.e., “ate”, not “hate”.) Now she was really aghast! (She would have fainted if I’d told her what Eetan likes.)
At that point I knew where I was going. There was the On-In arrow (better than most hares, who can’t even draw a proper arrow with two barbs) pointing the way I’d hoped it would, and “ON-ON written in very legible day-glo block letters. I thanked my “guide”. He’d faithfully followed me long enough, and he should get back to torturing birds.
Fifteen minutes later I was having one of Khun Aae’s 100 Pluses. (“Plusses”?)
To back up, I must apologize for something. The first check was a back-check just beyond a three-way intersection on a concrete path. KC, with the certainty of a hunting dog, turned left even before the check was called by the FRBs. He took several lucky folks with him, I guess they were Any Wan, Roger Me, Whacks Off & On; I’m guessing becoz I never saw them again. Bullit and Nok did not follow KC, and followed paper straight to the check.
When I saw most of the pack turn left, and Bullit and Nok continuing straight, I remarked to The Tickler “That’s unusual, Bullit’s short-cutting.” The Tickler remembered that in the circle. His short-term memory’s still intact despite all the Black Cock.
Apologies to Bullit and Nok, they were on trail.
But halfway through the run, as it went into Bullit’s home territory near Yok Krok, Bullit did pull a KC. At another T on the trail, paper to the right, we faithfully followed Mav to a check at a dead-end. Bullit looked back at us, shook his head, and went straight. YT wondered about that, but we hadn’t run enough of Porkfinder’s trail to realize that all the checks were back-checks. (BTW, all Porkfinder’s checks were perfect “X”s. Laid out with a tape measure.)
But – the back checks eventually caught Bullit’s packlet off-guard. They decided that a check at corner of a concrete path must be the exception that proves the rule. They went forward, thoughtlessly forward, relentlessly forward, going too far off paper to return to the check to search for the back-check paper.
Somewhat later, at that same check, YT was experiencing the loneliness of the long-distance runner. I also checked forward at that check. Then it clicked that it had to be a back-check. Porkfinder’s addiction to back-checks was a life-saver in the dark. It would have helped had the FRB’s broken the checks, but that’s a serious matter for the Grand Mattress to deal with.
With the help of a homeowner whose dogs didn’t tear me apart, YT found paper at one confusing junction. She, bless her, pointed her torch in the right direction. After that, it was out of the darkness, onto the walkway, the bird-netter, the aghast ladies, etc., as related above.
The on-in was up Ratchapreuk, past my favorite junk shop, and into the car park as directed by Porkfinder’s avant-garde HHH sign, pale yellow lettering on white.
Eventually it was time for the ritual, even though the Cap’n hadn’t said “I’m hungry!”. The ersatz GM Woody took exuberant control of the circle, firmly shushing KC, and inviting the hare in for a DD. Hare accepted our compliments (just as I accepted his 500 Bath for writing a glowing review) and ignored our criticisms – because there were no criticisms. Well-laid trail, plenty of shreddie, and the beer stop was perfect. The Wisitors were invited in and interrogated. Borderline, Any Wan, and Ball Handler. Waka and William had already taken off. Late-comers Slap and Pink Panther may have been recognized, or just left to sit quietly.
The Tickler’s POTW should have gone to Short-Shorts, but Borderline stole her thunder. Then The Tickler relinquished his two minutes of fame to Woody, and only One China drinking followed.
YT was deafened by the one-man noise machine at the Porn Hub, so I reserve judgment on the OnOnOn, but much appreciate the hare’s sponsorship. And I’m looking forward to his next run.
Thus ended another shitty day in paradise.
Run 2084 on Wednesday 16 November 2022
Location:- Phayathai, Soi Chawakun
Mudguard helpfully waited until after the trail on Wednesday, if I could do a brief write-up. So, here it is. Hope it’s ok,
I arrived back in Bangkok on Monday, after being incarcerated in the Uk for the last 3 years and it was great to be hashing here again and to catch up with all the hasher friends and meet all the new ones.
The venue was easy to find, even marked on the way from the BTS but hare, of co-hare said it wasn’t him, maybe the hare Jump Start. Several hashers were saying “why had they picked such a shitty area for a trail”. Mudguard made it clear his aim was to join up several parks or green areas by using klong paths, alleys and by running under the elevated Skytrain and roads. He said that was what they used to do 30 to 40 years ago.
I had nice chats with several hashers, Snowy, Sauerkraut, Thitaya, Malinee and the hares as well as some of the visitors and newer (to me) hashers but soon it was time to get ready. 1 harriette asked how far, Mudguard said about 6km which is an ok distance.
We set off from the rear car park following a trail of chalk, paper in posts and shreddie by tree roots. Torches weren’t needed at first but would be. The pack or the FRB part kept together fairly well with a reasonable pace. We went up and around the Victory Monument raised path and down again to a tricky, to find, path down the side of a klong. The various turns and change of surroundings soon had me confused but we managed to keep on trail. Strangely on Map My Run the trail looks essentially rectangular but didn’t feel like that.
KC seemed to know where he was going or said so but several times at checks the actual trail turned out to be a bit further than some hashers first checked. The markings were there but sometimes difficult to join up confidently but that kept us guessing.
We followed the klong path for a while then went right and left under an expressway to a park / garden where we went wrong a bit before coming back into the park and picking up trail again. We again went right following another klong beside a road under an expressway heading towards the Ministry of Finance.
There are several of these places near here, so that one, the Public Relations Dept, Dept of Environmental Quality, the Revenue Dept. Wow, aren’t we glad they’re on top of things here. At this point I had done about 5km and was imagining beer near but no, not even half way, as it turned out. I passed or caught up with Rawhide, din’t see him at the start, or the end. Also Georgia, I mean Always Comes Last/Late, guess they arrived late. Shook hands with Rawhide then carried on. I was beginning to notice the heat / humidity compared to the UK but doing ok.
The FRB’s KC, Sauerkraut, Slippery When Wet, the 2 visitors who didn’t stay for the circle, Always Comes Late and another few I can’t place, oh and me then stuck together as we turned right again to track the BTS line with a couple of jinks left and right. We were now heading south towards Victory Monument where we turned left and into Santiphap Park, didn’t see much marking there but KC said it was that way/ Then out of the park, a U turn and we were back.
So, my app said 10.93 km in 1 hr 38 mins, a bit more than 6 km, I think the co-hare maybe needs to re-calibrate his legs, 😄
I felt ok after but needed a beer. We then all tried to cool down. Nibbles had some Nibbles for us, lovely spicy sauce and chicken. A bit more catching up and chatting before the circle was called. The hares got a bit of jovial flak for the trail but it was an enjoyable trail. I then got nobbled for being the RA, something I’ve managed to avoid because; well, others do it better. Anyway I improvised a little. Tit of the Week went to Tinker, surprisingly, even though KC was nominated, not sure why he won but that’s democracy for you.
After the circle we went to a nearby “Mobile Steak” where I think they weren’t overjoyed to serve us from what I’ve heard, the food was nice enough, beer was also and several hashers kept buying extra beer, so we did well/ I think we paid 200 baht, not bad at all.
So, for me a really great return to Bangkok hashing after a long break, so glad to be able to be here.
Run 2081 on Wednesday 26 October 2022
Location:- Prawet, Pattanakan Soi 93, Aroi Dee
Hare:- Klong Dump
Arrived early for the run and found the hare all wet and smelling like his namesake, a Khlong Dump. He said he fell into the Khlong while he was recce’ing the trail on his bike.
With only 30 minutes to go before the start of the run and no paper laid on trail, he decided to double down. He was going to do a live trail. I reminded him that if we caught him, he would have to buy beers for the hounds. Grinning, he re-emphasized “IF”. I said challenge accepted, for today we had fast running bastards….Always Cums Last, Horny Viking, Patpom, WeChat and that good looking guy Eetan. Plus, the pack was augmented by the shortcutting master Boobalube.
Giving him a 5 minute lead we came on to his first check, an unrecognizable 2 meter diameter paper dump on a khlong bridge. Horny Viking went left, Boobalube went right as I sacrificed myself and stayed strategically at the check to mark it for the rest of the pack. Boobalube gave up after checking for about 10 steps as Always Cums Last took over and found paper again on the 11th stride.
Ran along khlong paths for a while until we reached an open field that must have been a dumping ground for all manner of 4 and 2 legged animals. And of course, the sadistic hare put a check there. Motivated to get as fast and far away as possible from that awful smelling shit patch I quickly found paper and was back on the khlong paths again.
Did a quick peek behind me and saw Always Cums Last, WeChat, Patpom and Boobalube milling about the check seemingly savoring the aroma of the “eau de toilette”. I had to call out “onon” to snap them out of their drunken bliss.
Hooking right onto a long concrete road and we were back on Chaloem Phrakiat with another check at a busy market. I was sure I knew where it went. Horny Viking ran straight, and I went the opposite way. Almost fell on the khlong as I was crossing a rickety wooden bridge. The planks were so rotten that the nails that held them down seesawed loose under my weight. Only my cat-like reflexes saved me from taking a swim as I gingerly shifted my weight to my other foot.
After my near-death experience checking, I was disappointed to find no paper. Circled back and found Horny Viking also milling about the check until the rest of the laggards caught up and joined in the search. Finally found trail again and ran uneventfully back home.
Run 2080 on Wednesday 19 October 2022
Location:- Bang Krachao, Baan Lung Au
Park near the ferry landing but not in the Sanitary Section. Only issue was the parking lot was flooded; but in any case cars were left behind and there was a nice boat to take us to Uncle O’s across the river near Bangkrachao. An elite group showed up for Normal’s run. Normal, coming off knee surgery, still braved the elements to provide a good run and a sponsored very nice on on dinner as well!
The GM was even on time to set us off. Quickly out of the starting gate Boob a Lube and Codpiece disappeared with nary an on on to help the rest of us out. WE had one visiting Harriette – EZ Lips, who did the trail. The other 6 harriettes not so much. Of course Normal and her co hare Nibbles were not expected on trail. Crash felt it her duty to watch over Normal. Sizzler and GM Jumpstart did a bit but no one knows what bit! In any case we proceeded towards the big park and sort of we did a long circle on nice khlong paths outside the periphery of the park. We saw a couple of attempts to mark checks by the two front runners but even that effort was poor as they broke a check the wrong way!
Bullet, Joseph, and Mudguard – diligently following trail – got into the park on trail, over a little wooden bridge, did a nice little right hand loop that brought them out close to where they started the loop – this was the correct trail. The numb nuts front runners cut this part of the trail. So as the hares said just over 7km! Maverick and visitors Saintly Suds and EZ Lips were apparently misled by Codpiece’s errant check breaking and also missed this loop.
All in all a very nice little trail in a familiar area. The hare and here co hare were honored in the circle. Visitors Saintly Suds and EZ Lips from Hawaii recognized. Returner Normal honored. Som was also a returner but did not stay for the circle. Boob a Lube RA’d and Saintly Suds from Hawaii got prick of the week for some infraction!
A fabulous dinner folloed in a splendid setti ng right on the river. Perfect weather, perfect views, and perfect price free! The hare even had a special boat arranged to get everyone back to their cars. All in all a splendid Harriettes evening! On on.
Run 2079 on Wednesday 12 October 2022
Location:- Bang Sue, Station Saep Nua restaurant
Hare:- Bullit assisted by Tinker
This Wednesday’s hare – Bullit – wisely decided not to set the run from his favoured Wat Toei opposite Pakkret as the car park we use was only open for amphibious vehicles. Instead he chose the ever popular restaurant in Bangsue railway compound.
The RA had done a good job, and Hashers were able to gather in the dry before the run. As usual at this location there was a lively discussion about whether the name of the district should be pronounced Bang-sue or Bang-sir. Anyway, at 5:30pm all went quiet while we listened to instructions from the hare. The trail was 7km and set with balls of paper and chalk marks in various colours.
After that the pack set off and the trail went into familiar territory behind the restaurant. It soon came out onto a road where there was a check, and the old hands like Boobalube were sure it was a back check. Ambrose and Maverick were left to check up the road, but didn’t find the trail there either. Eventually paper was found straight across the road near the railway tracks. After going north along the tracks for a while it crossed the track to an enclosure containing Thomas the Tank Engine©. A check was marked on Thomas’s buffer, and this sent the old hands like you know who heading through the diesel refuelling area and towards the railway golf course, much to the consternation of the security team who were on parade and employed to prevent such incursions.
After a while it was realised that there was no paper up there, and the trail was found back on the road parallel to the railway tracks. It took us by one of many Thai follies – a wide flooded road tunnel to an unknown destination (perhaps Harry Potter’s platform 7½). The hares kindly didn’t take us down this road, and the trail veered left alongside the Taling Chan railway line. After a bit of ducking and diving there was a check.
We were only a couple of km from the start, but because the pack had taken so long at the checks it was already dark. Your scribe decided to cut a long trail short and headed back to the beer down the road, arriving back shortly before 7. None of the runners were back, and the hare was wondering where everyone had got to on such a straightforward run. Gradually others arrived back, and by the time all but two runners (son of Aunties Tits and the son’s friend) had returned GM Jumpstart called the circle to order. The usual down downs were awarded, and RA Senator awarded Tits of the Week to Ambrose for being too sexy. Just before the circle was dismissed the two missing runners arrived back, having got lost somewhere the far side of Klong Prapa.
The pack then adjourned to the restaurant and the rain still held off. Many thanks to the hares for an interesting evening.
Run 2078 on Wednesday 5 October 2022
Location:- Pahonyothin Soi 46, Wat Bang Bua
Hare:- Slippery when Wet
Run number 2-0-7-8, the 5th was the date, it was Slippery’s turn to be hare.
Bang Khen the location for her running vocation, we wanted to be there.
15 good men and true, which includes me and you, but no cohare was to be seen.
Would she do it again, make us run more than ten, now I don’t feel so keen.
We took off down the street, not knowing what we might meet, with arrows good big and long.
Now into our stride, running with pride, what could possibly go wrong.
Running along, for miles by a klong, it was a well marked trail.
Following arrows you know, is the best way to go, and get home you will not fail.
Thats all well and good, and I know that I should, but it’s dark and I can’t see.
It said in the letter, bring a torch would be better, but I don’t have mine with me.
I looked high and low, which way should I go, to get back to start point A
Along by more water, I think that this oughta’, get me home to finish the day.
Back to the beer, would the restaurant be near, we’ll know when the circle has ended.
It was not the case, a 1km walk to the place, but the food cheap and splendid.
The evening complete, our stomaches replete, time to go find my bed,
So thanks to the hare, for taking us there, now I’m home and resting my head
Run 2077 on Wednesday 29 September 2022
Location:- Sukhumvit Soi 8, Heritage Condominium
It is not too often that the start is just 100 meter from the hotel that I am staying in, but today was my lucky day. We gathered up just about 100 meter down Soi 8, and soon enough we all were headed out on trail. We made our way down the back streets until we eventually entered the newly opened Benchakitti Forest Park or Benjakitti Park depending on where you look on the map. There was a multitude of trails, bridges, walkways, and footpaths to conceal true trail, and we had hounds scampering in all directions.
Upon reaching the southern end of the park, it appears some of those husky bastards up front wandered off on their own. For those of us that actually stayed on trail, enjoyed a wonderful tour de force through the steamy underworld we call Bangkok. It would be after dark before the whole gang reformed at the home of the lead hare, where the usual snack assortment and beer were available. Once the circle was called to order, it made it way around the pack for everyone to get their assigned down downs, and everyone had a great time on this most excellent trail.
The On On On was just across the street at Det 5, where seven hearty hashers continued to celebrate the day. Until next time, On On.
Run 2075 on Wednesday 14 September 2022
Location:- Thonglor, Ror Reua
Hare:- Ibo Ibo
Well suffice it to say that in addition to volunteering to hare a Harriettes run the hares have the honor (ok let’s call it what it is… added duty) of making sure someone does the post hash write-up. So why not simplify things and have the hares (in this case Hare as Noriega had to bail) self-aggrandize themselves by writing their own hash report. Thus what can I say, it was clearly the best hash of the last century with mountains, jungle, waterfalls, drink stops with free margaritas on trail, and loads of free stuff leading to an ononon at Ruth’s Steak house! Ok, fantasies aside, as best as this hare can tell the pack had a fun time and that’s all that matters. The original pack of 15 (GM Jumpstart and Ambrose showed up late but did make it out onto trail) started off on time after simple instructions from the hare with Boobalube racing out in front on this three legs as usual.
The trail was short but sweet (circa 6km if one did all of the trail) with many rambling back and forth turns thru the narrow housing alleys of the Muslim Petchaburi water taxi zone area. Fortunately the weather Gods were kind this time as the rains held back until the start of the circle which allowed for all to complete the well marked trail without any major issue. In fact the trail was so well marked that the FRB front runners Horny Viking and Always Comes Last arrived at the beer stop just after hare Iboibo (moi) parked the vehicle and had the cold beers ready. The rest of the pack (minus the two late comers) of hashers showed up at the beer stop over the next ten to fifteen minutes and also enjoyed the ice cold beer before ambling onward towards the end of trail.
As is usual at the BHH3, there were ample great snacks and nibbles at the end of the trail to go along with the usual bevy of cold beers and drinks. With rain quickly approaching and all hashers finally all in (GM rambling in dead last having apparently got lost one soi away), the circle was called and after roasting the hare and inviting in visitors and returnees (of particular note “New Zealand” Sheepshagger who had been gone some 20 plus years allegedly and Dripper who had taken a covid sabbatical), the rain started coming down much more heavily and the decision was made to move the circle and entire hash into the nearby Ror Ruea Thai restaurant.
Once all were comfortably inside (luckily this newly identified/used OnOnOn venue had just enough space upstairs for the 18 hashers), the circle was quickly recalled into session and more so to be less of a pain to the rest patrons below us, Boobalube stepped in and quickly nominated NZ Sheepshagger for Tits of the Week based on his decision to get half naked in the resto. It was a quick unanimous “all in favor” but rather than dress him up in the appropriate attire Nibbles simply squeezed his male titties from behind and an appropriate down down song ensued. The remainder of the OnOnOn was enjoyed by all with lots of good thai food, more cold beer (yes the staff had to run out and buy more Leo for the hash) and a nicely gifted two bottles of red wine from Boobablube. All in all a fun evening.
Run 2074 on Wednesday 7 September 2022
Location:- Baan Baan Bang Krachao
Hare:- Slumdog, Mrs Slumdog and daughter
The location of Harriettes Run 2074 was a big draw regardless of the trail quality. Baan Baan Bang Krachao is a well-liked establishment that has been used many times in the past by several of the Bangkok Hashes. The stand-in GM Tinker promptly called the circle to order @ 17:30hrs as the hare team of Slum Dog, Mrs. Slum and Slum Young Female explained the details of the trail. Paper shred and chalk arrows mark the trail. Slum young female even went as far to tell the pack to turn left at the main road (not sure why because it was well marked!).
As the pack set off, FRB’s Tom Yung Goong, Eetan, Always Cums Last and Khlong Dump were elbowing and shoulder checking each other to get the honor of numero uno. The visitor “Sit-on-my-facebook” was making great progress for a man his size in a position at the back of the FRB’s. SauerKraut started slow as he was chatting with his squeeze Slippery When Wet but as he tired of the conversation he kicked it into a higher gear in pursuit of front-running glory.
About 1.0km along the trail, the pack was spread into 3 groups that were not in shouting distance but that made no difference since marks were easy to follow and checks and false trails were clearly broken. From this point onward I was kon dio for the remainder of the run until the on-in. So as I hit Soi 20 at about 4.5km, I hear the FRB’s Eetan and Always Cums Last about to overtake me! What the hell is going on here? They claimed that I had missed 2 loops. Like hell I did! Super competitive runners tend to wander far off paper which they claim to be a trail!
From the On-In chalk, the run tracked back onto the out trail without any indication of how to get back to the a-site! Luckily my superior local knowledge guided me successfully back to the a-site. I thought I had to be dead last, but no 11 minutes later Boob-a-lube jogs in with Short-shorts claiming to have done 12.5km on a 5.5km trail. Sounds like a shaggin’ diversion!
With all Hashers safely returned. Captain Eric was firmly seated under the rear hatch of his SUV and Nibbles had a comfortable spot in a chair and was actually napping! The circle was started by Tinker inviting the hares Slum Dog, Mrs. Slum and Slum Young Female into the middle to have their trail critiqued by the hounds. Comments were overwhelmingly favorable although the lack of any soft-surface was what prevented an excellent rating. Then it came to visitors, returners, etc. Stand-in Hash Cash Aunties Bitch really struggled with this. He did not know shit from shinola. Then it became the RA’s turn to spew some wisdom to the disciples of the S2H3. Since none of the regular RA’s was present, Tinker picked The Tickler to stand-in. What a colossal blunder that was! The only useful element discussed was the fact that it didn’t rain and that was credited to the RA. Tits of the week was the closing act for the RA where the Visitor “Sit-on-my-facebook” narrowly beat Splat for the honors.
Announcements and social swilling was followed by a splendid meal at the Baan Baan Bang Krachao restaurant. This was very graciously sponsored by the Slum Family! Thanks so much for picking up the run on short notice!
Run 2073 on Wednesday 31 August 2022
Location:- Chonburi Motorway, Gustavia
Hare:- The Senator
The Pack, in order of appearance: Cap’n Erik, Short-Shorts, Tink, Aunty’s Bitch, the three Slumdogs, Pussy Virus, Klong Dump
Missing: Eetan, The Tickler, KC, Scrotum, Codpiece, etc., and the Squad. Normal had invited the Old Girl’s Wine and Gossip Society to lunch. A splash of wine to enthuse them for The Senator’s run misfired. One bottle of Merlot each got them so pissed they forgot it was Wednesday.
The weather: Rain, rain, and more rain. A possible new Hash name for Aunty’s Bitch – the “Weather Prophet”. Poor bastard believed it wouldn’t rain. Walked out of the house unprotected, spent three hours huddled under a bridge, gave up, and shit, showered, and shaved for the rest of his walk to Gustavia. Remember the Boy Scout’s motto? “Be Prepared”. It’s the wet monsoon!
Venue: Gustavia. The Senator’s money-laundering operation. Two months ago, it was the scene of intrigue, of Scrotum’s failed attempt to hijack the Monday Hash crime syndicate. (But Scrotum fled the country. He has survived to plot another day. See appended insider report.)
The Back Story:
To begin the story at the end, the shades of night were falling, so the ranking member called the circle before a proper amount of the Hash Piss’s beer had been consumed. (Only twelve bottles! Further, it was not a circle, more like a decagon with only ten Harriettes present.)
Why were the shades of night were falling? Easy answer, it was 7:30 pm. There was the unprecedented 15-minute delayed start due to inclement weather, massive traffic jams, and Pussy Virus’s strip show. Because of this and the unbroken first two checks, most of the packlet returned almost at the witching hour. And it didn’t help that Cap’n Erik blew off Tinker’s On-On call at the first check. The Cap’n sailed majestically past the shreddie and gained some sort of perverse satisfaction watching the pack mill around in confusion.
To continue, the decagon was short and sweet. The Senator received standing ovations for his run. (It was too bloody wet to sit!) Returners were acknowledged (Klong Dump modestly accepted the welcome back), a wisitor was introduced (Nazia, the lovely offspring of the Slumdog kennel), and then the ranking member handed over the very wet torch to the ersatz RA.
There was a paucity of accusations of sins on the trail, mainly because the RA (with his front-running sidekick) had committed most of them.
The TOTW, which usually by precedent goes to a sexy young visitor (e.g., Nazia), went instead to Klong Dump for some perversion or dereliction of duty. It took two rounds before he overcame a strong challenge from Short-Shorts for her phone sex.
Did it have anything to do with Klong Dump skillfully unloading his responsibilities on the unsuspecting visitor? (Willing daughter of the Slumdogs. Why didn’t they warn her about Klong Dump?)
The decagon then adjourned after an attempt at communist drinking.
The Senator and the Gustavia did not fail us. Ample gap khao food. (Plain rice appeared later, and was mostly ignored.) The salmon pizza was a big hit, especially with Aunty’s Bitch. (“If no one wants the last piece, I could be convinced to take it.”) The air-con was reduced from arctic to tolerable. The music was much better than tolerable. (Note to Jumpstart – you missed your chance for a duet.) The service was excellent. (Note to KC – “Navel Engagement” was there, but she covered it up.)
The Splash and Dash:
Back to the Cap’n not calling the packlet back to where Tink had solved the check. So, Tink sauntered along the ups and downs of the ancient tree-shrouded klong walkway that the Senator had discovered. And he discovered it just in time, before it sank completely into the mud.
Unbeknownst to the Tink and the rest of the pack, now reduced to Short-Shorts, Aunty’s Bitch, and the Slumdog Family, the two FRBs had unconsciously blown past the first two checks. The Tink solved them on his own, taking his time becoz he thought he was the FRB. (Idiot!) It didn’t dawn he wasn’t until after the 2 km stretch along Grungtep Greta. Sure enuf, down the klong path on the far side of the golf course, there was a broken check. And Tink was heart-broken – dreams of an on-in victory lap dashed.
At that point, the only thing left to dream about was a free OnOnOn. (Once again just a dream.)
Because of their negligence, the two FRBs sprinted home 40 minutes before the rest of the packlet staggered in from their endless milling around, missing the enchanting klong walkway. Easy for the FRBs to sprint, the Senator had liberally scattered shreddie all the way. A mystery – these two (PV and KD) barely touched the beer supply in those 40 minutes.
Appendix: Scrotum plots to take over the Hash
27 June 2022 was an otherwise unremarkable, overcast early afternoon in Bangkok. Codpiece was bent over his computer screen, totally focused on the porno hit, “Eetan Does Bangkok”. But Codpiece was not what he had seemed to be – the guileless director of the “Most Honest Export/ Import Company, Ltd.”
The window behind him shattered. The round entered Codpiece’s back after slicing through his ergonomic chair, and burst out through his chest. As he slumped onto the floor, he splattered his cup of cold-infused coffee (no sugar) onto the screen.
The rifle was a customized piece of weaponry that could kill at long distances – as long as a skilled finger was on the trigger and a skilled eye was sighting through the scope. That skilled finger and skilled eye belonged to the Tickler.
Meanwhile, ten kilometers away, Spinning Dwarf was also glued to his screen, engrossed as he contemplated the ever-increasing balance on his Swiss bank account. Years of money-laundering for the Codpiece’s criminal organization “The Hash” had made him a very rich man. He had moved into a posh gated community in the suburbs. His wild parties were featured in The Big Chilli, often hosted by Ringworm’s wife, Ghislaine.
He unscrewed the cap on a bottle of Black Dork, and took a long, satisfying pull. It was a new brand that he had been introduced to by the Tickler, who always asked if SD were feeling OK. SD had been on a cabbage diet for a week, and wondered if the Tickler had noticed the flatulence. Perhaps the Black Dork was a remedy. SD was feeling bullish today.
With the legalization of ganja in Thailand, Codpiece and SD intended to move the Hash out of mindaltering drugs and into simple sex- trafficking. It was a highly- respected business in the Land of Similes and paid off well. If that worked, their next step was, logically, into politics.
But, they had confided this plan to the Hash enforcer, Checkless, code-named “Scrotum”, believing he would be interested in a piece of the action. But Scrotum already had a better plan – 100% of the take.
That indiscretion in approaching Scrotum was a fatal mistake, one for which Codpiece paid with his life.
And now Spinning Dwarf fell to the floor, a dying man. Later that afternoon two of Scrotum’s henchmen, Boob and Tink met at Gus’ Tavia Pub where Boob had taken a liking to a certain craft IPA, almost as strong as his liking for the bar wench, “Navel Engagement”.
These two underlings were hatching their own plan for a takeover of the Hash. Nearly three years ago, the arch- criminal, Black Bardick, had escaped custody in India after multiple felony indictments. His connections in Thailand found him a safe house. Boob and Tink had just returned from there.
The plan was to have the Senator (the Hash’s financial expert and Thai Bath manipulator) lure Scrotum onto a trail along a fetid canal for a currency exchange scam with Black Bardick. There the Senator would quietly dispose of Scrotum and Black Bardick.
The Senator came in to Gus’ Tavia to check on the progress of the plot. He nodded to Tink, and noticed with displeasure that Boob was fixated on “Navel Engagement”. That could spell trouble – with a capital “T”. The intrigue in the Hash is legend, and endless.
The Senator thought to himself: “Self, if I can’t bump them off this time, there’s another chance coming up at the end of August.”
(To be continued.)
Run 2065 on Wednesday 6 July 2022
Location:- Onnut Soi 37, Gung Pao
Who is the hare? The designated hare has disappeared, the trailmaster has disappeared, there’s always Tickler but that would be on the dark side of the river where Harriettes dare not go, the bugles blow Malinee answers the call, virgin run Onut 37.
Ok, so we’ve all been there, but this trail had more loops than a Bangkok back alley. You want a long run do them all (Eetan), almost all the way Boob and late coming Pussy Virus! Splat and Short Shorts did most of it too, the rest, well they got to the beer! Tinker was very late in but perhaps one of his infamous beer stops was involved! Hema made an appearance on trail and even better got back in time for the circle.
Speaking of that, Tinker stood in as GM as no GM, no JMs, no Onsec etc etc. Malinee and Tim were thanked for there culinary efforts weekend past and on this night. Eetan was honored for saving Hema Saturday then punished for not having a beer in the rescue vehicle! The hare was honored for her last minute rescue.
Dark clouds portend another crisis as no one can find the next hare Turtlehead!!! Boob stood in as RA, you see how low the bar is tonight! Snowy, Eetan, and one other were nominated for Tits of the Week. Betting money was on Eetan multiple offenses; no beer for Hema, not breaking checks, too cheap to make his girlfriend a member! But the mob voted for Hema. So tired the Harriettes dressed him sitting in his chair! After all that a nice on on on dinner and finally an end to another Harriettes run!
Run 2062 on Wednesday 15 June 2022
Location:- Bang Wa, Krua Apsorn
Hare:- Tom Yum Gung
We started out on the road a bit, then on left to a small concrete walk-way (must be right-of-way for the orchards) – most of the paths were abandoned or were cut off by housing estates. The early checks are in the side-sois which are dead ends. Some of us were fooled and kept going, hoping not to see a check!
The trail twisted and turned along the khlongs between the housing estates. The checks kept the pack not too far apart. Towards the end we came upon dead end (ตัน) on the bridge, but the papers are there (?) So we kept going, it went to a tiny path. (สัน) Eetan said the trails are like the US-Mexican border wall!
The hares bought lovely Thai dishes from (ครัวอัปษร) which closed about 2000 hours. We had a very good run and lovely evening. Thank you.
Run 2060 on Wednesday 1 June 2022
Location:- Hua Lampong station car park
Hare:- Pussy Virus
Lured by the promise of multiple beer stops, hashers of various kinds was populating the parking lot behind Hua Lampong station. The hare Pussy Virus announced that we will start with boat, and that we have to hurry up to leave before Drunken Donut arrives. The group realized the importance of the announcement and quickly moved towards the ferry camp a couple of hundred meters down the canal. To be able to sneak off as quietly as possible, the hare had arranged a solar powered ferry for the pack.
Soundlessly we took off, suppressing our cheerfulness of having succeeded in our attempt. Ooh nooo, Drunken Donut has spotted us from the parking lot next to the canal, and is approaching to make a James Bond jump onto the solar panel roof of the ferry. The captain sees the danger and moves the craft over to the other side of the canal, and Drunken Donut gives up and starts running off in the sunset, only to be waiting for us at the run start 1 km up the canal at Rama I Rd.
Our live hare of the evening runs off down Rama I, and the thirsty pack shortly follows. The first check is in a warehouse area, none of the FRB’s comes back to signal the direction, so the scribe has to finally give in and do some checking himself, only to find the pack drinking at the first beer stop in a market area not far away. Mother Mary, joyfully being without her chaperon Father Joseph, was waving her beer mug so beer is flying everywhere.
The trail continues north but soon turns down along the khlong we started from, crossing a bridge, on which we later hear the likely true rumours that Pork Finder tries to rape Drunken Donut. Happily unconscious of this for sex drive inhibitory sight, we are continuing into Muslim neighbourhoods, which we finally leave so we could find our second beer stop. Unusually slow drinking by guys like FRB Hairy Crack, Hasu-no-drink-during-run-Kashi, and newly arrived Mud Guard not yet acclimatized to the watery Thai beer, left us with the shop owner feeling pity cunningly starting clearing the table, just in time for Tickler to arrive and saving the last beer from being swept back under the counter.
Off we go, continuing through endless small sois slowly becoming more and more fashionable, until our last water hole which was outside the bar Teens of Thailand where our hare served us signatory drinks of some sort of red colour, highly appreciated! Luckily we were crawling distance from Hua Lampong parking lot.
In the circle there were accusations of Pork Finders bridge rape, Mother Mary’s double alcohol abuse, Mud Guard for returning, but winner of Tits of the week was HashiKashi, found guilty of breast reduction surgery, although Virginia Slime advocated it was brain reduction surgery. The OnOnOn was serving pizza, beer and wine, all paid for by the hare. It is also worth mentioning that Mother Mary was trying to go down on Drunken Donut across the table, who at first was sliding down the couch but suddenly was seen climbing up the wall. The hard core hashers continued to a bar with delicious coconut rum drinks. Great finish of the night!
Run 2058 on Wednesday 18 May 2022
กัปตัน (Captain) – กระต่าย, รอว์ไฮด์ (Rawhide) – ร่วมกระต่าย
รวม: 15 [Ed: Might have been more, but Mav followed the misdirections to exit the Airport Rail Link beyond the run site at Baan Tap Chang, and couldn’t find a taxi willing to go back. So in disgust*, he continued on to the airport, and is now back home in Cheltenham with a real ale.]
ตามรางไปซักพักก็เหลือทางเดินคอนกรีต มอไซค์ และจักรยาน นมของย่าและคลองทิ้งเห็นม้าที่กำลังวิ่งตามรถไฟ และทำบุญด้วยการช่วยเต่าจากรางรถไฟ ทิงเกอร์เห็นปลาตีน** [Ed: WTF! A horse and a turtle? What’s next, the March hare? What kind of shit had they been smoking?]
ที่ทางเดินนี้ วุฒิสมาชิกเดินไปที่ถนนใหญ่เมื่อเห็นทางข้างหน้ามีน้ำท่วมขัง กางเกงขาสั้น (Short-Shorts), Splat และ Granny’s Tits แซงมอเตอร์ไซค์เพื่อลุยน้ำ และพวกเขาตกต่ำเพราะบาปนั้น ในชุดนั้น Snowy และ Svend เดินผ่านน้ำอย่างไม่ระมัดระวัง.
[Ed: Continuing their journey with Alice in Wonderland, Granny’s Tits and Klong Dump next saw a pink crocodile swimming in the chest-high water. They swore off that shit forever.]
จนถึงจุดหนึ่ง ทางเดินได้ผ่านสามเส้นทาง Granny’s Tits พบกระดาษแผ่นหนึ่งอยู่ใต้พุ่มไม้ ดังนั้นพวกเขาจึงไปได้ไกลโดยไม่มีกระดาษฝอย [Ed: ‘Granny’s Tits found a patch of paper’? Granny’s Tits was still hallucinating, but not as bad as Klong Dump. Frozen with fear, he was still staring into the great evil yellow eyes of the croc.***]
ON-IN เป็นที่ที่ ON-OUT อยู่ อันที่จริงมันมืดเกินไปที่จะเห็น “ON-IN” เพราะ Granny’s Tits ทำให้เราออกไปที่นั่นสายเกินไป
สมาชิกสภา (Senator) เป็น RA, Granny’s Tits ได้ Prick of the Week [Ed: Prick OTW??? The writer has obviously listened to KC too often. And that’s a whole other category of sins.]
**The walking fish was real.
***Instead of bringing Klong Dump home for dinner, the croc lamely explained to his family that he was also frozen with fear. Thinking about what Klong Dump looks like, you can understand that.
Run 2057 on Wednesday 11 May 2022
Location:- Taling Chan Junction
Hare:- Short Shorts
Having started the previous Monday’s run from the same location, when most of the pack missed out a long loop and as a result only did 4 km, there was some minor speculation before this run as to whether or not we’d balls it up again, and consequently there was also some determined resolve to make sure that we didn’t.
The hares’ briefing before the start of the run advised that there would be a short and a long trail of about 7km (sic) and also included a warning to be careful when crossing the main road, and also to be very careful when going through a hole in a chain link fence because of some unspecified peril lurking there.
Monday’s hare, Grannies Tits, was in attendance to keep a comparative eye on things and perhaps, if he had the opportunity, to point out where his missing loop was. As it turned out, he needn’t have bothered. We found another one!
The trail headed out to the north on a small road, and then made a right turn into orchards belonging to the friendly, somewhat bemused locals. The trail was well marked and checked, and it wound its way along pleasant orchard paths, khlong paths, public footpaths, path paths, and occasional side roads. Very enjoyable indeed.
After about 4km the trail ducked through a hole in a wall that was no longer a wall that had also featured on the Monday run, and then headed straight back to the main road and the onin sign. All up about 5km without the checks, 6km with.
Initially the thought was that the hares had overestimated the total distance a bit as we had run only about 5-6km and not the 7km as announced at the start. But then the four or five of us who had already arrived back at the beer truck started to question where was the perilous chain link fence, and also the main road crossing. Er, we hadn’t seen either! Damn, we must have found another missing loop!
As the rest of the pack gradually came in it seemed as though not many of them had found the missing loop either. Those that had advised that co-hare Tinker was out on the trail somewhere along said loop wondering where everyone had gone. What jolly fun.
After all were back, including Tickler and Tinker, our delightful GM call the circle and asked for comments on the run. Much to Short Shorts relief and pleasure all the comments were very favourable and much cheering and clapping ensued.
Ibo Ibo took up the mantle of RA, had a lot of fun with everyone, and as a finale conspired to give KC the honour of tits of the week. He looked lovely I must say.
The ononon dinner was well attended with delicious food and copious amounts of cold beer, and thanks again must go to the hares for yet another great afternoon with the hash.
A footnote from Grannie’s Tits:
“Finally found the Harriette’s May 11th long trail. Numerous search teams were out yesterday and today. The “Gate” leading to it had my recycled paper still hanging on it from May 9th extracted from a different location. Local forensic experts believe the angle of the setting sun was a probable cause for hashers missing it.
Run 2054 on Wednesday 20 April 2022
Location:- Sukhumvit Soi 1, Baan 1
Carparking was at a premium with Codpiece being forced to park many km away even though he could have paid a few Baht and parked next door. This, remember, is the guy that has a lighting empire and gives Elon Musk investment advice.
We started along railway line with Hashers being tied to the rails. The section along the tracks carried on for so long that we thought the Circle would be at the Hare’s place in Map Ta Phut. We then ran along khlongs. If you closed your eyes and covered your nose you could easily imagine you were in Venice. That is of course until you ended up in the khlong because you weren’t looking where you were going.
Eventually we got to Ratchaparop station. Its name translates as station that you can’t check in for the airport. It was a huge check that confused everyone. We were beginning to believe we were going to the airport and that Captain would be taking us somewhere. Yaya wasn’t at the start of the Meander and it was assumed she was waiting for us at Suvarnabhumi. This belief was heightened when she turned up very late and in holiday clothes.
We eventually set off again with Shaggy desperately trying to get Bronze but Horny Enhancer proved that training with cigarettes is a winner. This didn’t stop Mr. Enhancer from trying to leave Trail and head for Soi Cowboy although the thought of Vee Chat finding out caused him to think better of this option.
A long stretch along a running track gave Eetan a chance to get near the front. Racist of the day went to Khlongdump who was FRB. However all that exertion meant he thought Shaggy was Bangcook. Karma took revenge when Aunties Bitch, City Girl and everyone else decided they weren’t available to Hare, which caused Trailmaster Khlongdump to try and get people to Hare when they will be out of the country. There were just a few checks which ensured that Boob-a-Lube and Tinker weren’t able to keep up with the FRB. Well done to the Hare for attention to detail.
When we arrived back, Joseph was doing a great impression of a street vendor as he sat next to the table of food with the look of someone about to overcharge hungry farangs. It later was announced that Mother Mary, despite being the Hare, had outsourced her duties to Joseph.
Turtlehead was Prick of the Week. He looked far too happy in those clothes and Shaggette would have been jealous had she been there.
Run 2052 on Wednesday 6 April 2022
Location:- Taling Chan, Wat Pradu
An enthusiastic group of Hashers assembled when the Hare tried to inform all how the trail was marked……
Wonder how the visitor couple (2 virgins from US, Cleveland and Japan, Tokyo) felt when even experienced Hashers were surprised to hear about the marking:
– There are 4 OnIn signs,
– Some ‘Checks’ marked with and ‘L’,
How confusing can it be………. Oh yes! The need of flash lights was pointed out……… Hmm, but then we know the Hare. He always has his own agenda anyhow.
Then Tom Yam Gung and Bushman were leading the pack after the Hare advised towards the direction of the trail which led through surprising nice greenery. Along a small waterway it was leading to a goat farm where the ram was trying to protect his harem. Well, the unique smell made sure the Hashers tried not to get too close anyhow. The first check was on an open grass field and was solved by Bushman. The eager pack followed.
The trail meandered through some housing area and back to some agriculture. A very scenic trail with the occasional checks. Most of the them back checks keeping the pack together. Except The Tickler, who often does follow his own agenda…..
At a sharp bend Etan advised ‘I don’t think this way’ and continued straight only to turn around admitting ‘there was no paper anywhere straight ahead…….’ So he finally turned around to follow the pack. They, in the meantime had exhausted all front check options when they returned to try Etan’s original option where the marking also finally was detected.
A few clever checks kept the pack together and very often Bullet appeared ahead of the pack. It must be the many decades of Hashing and thousands of runs under his belt that did help to sniff the trail ahead!!
At one point the trail was leading though a construction site of a new temple. A beautiful Buddha Statue surrounded by unfinished concrete column with rebar sticking out at the top provided an unusual impression………….
After some marking on concrete paths along a Khlong finally the first ‘ONIN 1 -> no Checks’ appeared. Most tried to take the longer option and they got stuck at ‘Check L ‘. The marking confused. It seemed that most of the pack still made it to ‘ONIN 2’. Then it sun had drooped behind the horizons helping to miss ‘ONIN 3’. The trail continued the ‘ONIN 4’ but then it became dark which did not support to identify the markings (paper? rubbish? etc.).
Finally, the pack, incl. the victors, made it back to the piss truck. Also Tickler appeared from the darkness at some point. Only Bushman missed out somewhere finding no marking and finally approaching the beer&snack table from the opposite side, claiming that it was a very scenic trail. Unfortunately, he missed marking, leading to do some additional mileage. Who cares?
Tinker led the short circle following ‘normal procedure’, advising the virgins that for their remaining Hashing career they will always have the ‘Bangkok Hash House Harriett’s as their ‘Mother Hash’. ‘Tit’s of the Week’ was awarded to Bushman for what? Must be ‘Additional Mileage’, or??
Upon completion of the Circle the Hare invited the Pack for a very delicious homemade dinner.
Run 2051 on Wednesday 30 March 2022
Location:- Nonthaburi, TaKeing Keing Nam
The on in site was a familiar and memorable one, not so much for the quality of the runs but for the excellent food we’ve always had, especially with the Tickler and his signature Pork Knuckles. This is the food of champions; I strongly recommend having this every day and I guarantee you will NEVER GROW OLD (because you will die young from all that yummy artery clogging cholesterol).
I found the Tinker passed out on the side of the khlong with a rock for a pillow. He must have had his pork knuckles before we even started the run.
The Tickler has always set interesting runs and today was no different. It was going to be an A-B run and he had 3 song teaws ready, one for each runner. So off we go along Racthapruek for about 10 minutes and we were let off on a foot path marked with “RUN”.
There was a rumored runner/walker split that we never saw thanks to the excellent communications between the hare and an unmentionable Harriette.
We started the run led by two of our most important Hashers. SLAP with her mouthwatering cookies and Pork Finder with his thirst-quenching beverages. I stayed on with them all the way making sure we did not lose neither of them.
After a few concrete path walks we were in amazing trails that were excellently marked with what looks like brand new shredded paper. The hare spared no expense to make sure that no grumpy old American ex-military Hasher complained about the trail not being properly marked.
The checks and the falsies were very strategically placed and kept the runners and amblers together. All was well and good until we lost the arrows inside a temple and after milling around for about 10 minutes we finally saw an arrow under a parked motorbike. I am sure that the hare planned for this so as to delay the FRBs and to make sure we were running in the dark. With the onset of darkness the trail just became more interesting with the markings and the trip hazards becoming more difficult to see, special more so for the dumb Hashers who ignored the instructions to bring a light/torch. And soon enough there was a yelp and a bunch of cursing somewhere in the darkness behind me. Later on, we found out that it was Bullit with his flashlight conking out at the most opportune time to get his foot caught on a tree root and making a dive at an imaginary swimming pool. Luckily the tree was not hurt, and it can continue on tripping more ill-equipped Hashers in the future.
After dodging some soi dogs in the darkness we were back in civilization along Ratchapruek and found Short Shorts marking her own On In. Or was she trying to erase it? Then we were all safely back to the piss truck with some bruised knees and some lost flashlights and walking sticks just in time for a our well-deserved cold beers and pork knuckles.
Run 2050 on Wednesday 23 March 2022
Location:- Onnut Soi 37, Gung Pao
Hares:- Crash and Nibbles
Suffice it to say that despite this being a near repeat of much of the AGM run, the hares came through with a fun run (minus the on out, a brutal long street jog all the way up On Nut till the klong), a few decent checks, and a sociable well handled circle ⭕️.
Although this author was unable to attend the OnOnOn at Gung Pao, suffice it once again to state that assuredly the hares provided great grub and a festive post circle atmosphere.
But back to the crux of this the 2050th Bangkok Harrietes Hash run/walk. By the time I arrived at the run site, Crash was comfortably ensconced in a chair along with her cohare Nibbles. Crash feigned being very tired from her claimed arduous task of laying trail but Im gonna go out on a limb and state that Nibbles had the more certain “ive just laid trail while my coHare sat comfortably by guarding the parking lot! Regardless, we will officially honor the efforts of both.
The turnout was solid with somewhat over 20 (per my eyes anyway) Hashers present to include many locals as usual as well as three visiting Karachi, Pakistan (ive been there, its a truly real shithole! 😂) Hashers and both Barbi and his Frenchman bud Sebastian visiting from Bali (ive been there also, its a real shithole … ok less so than Karachi! 😆)!!
After a brief description of trail, the pack took off with about 6-8 quasi runners /fast walkers (Horny Viking, Drunkin Donut, Pussy Virus, COD, Boobalube, myself, etc included) and the usual suspect pack of walking wankers led by Cpt Eric! The runners 🏃♂️ stayed more or less together based on a few worthy checks (as well as one dastardly double check followed by a nifty false trail) and some old paper from the AGM run, and both the walkers and runners rambled in eventually, all in time for some delicious Harriettes snacks (tks Normal n company), cold beer and timely circle.
The circle was entertaining and fluid. Besides the usual bevvy of down downs for the hares (well deserved), visitors and returners, RA and GM ensured all or most were able to wet their whistle. Tits of the week was a bi-brainer as the harrietes wanted to see Frenchman Sebastian with his shirt off and despite a few other nominees the winner happily stepped forward, guzzled his beer and then tried to make off with the tits n skirt!
All in all a solid Hash! Well done hares!
Run 2049 on Wednesday 16 March 2022
Location:- Onnut Soi 64
Hares:- Sizzler and Short Change
Run 2049 assembled on a concrete slab off of Srinakarin Soi 41 which has become a common A-site in the past 1½ years. The hare “Sizzler” was relaxing in a chair and blow-drying her face with a battery powered fan. Co-hare Short-Change was pacing about nervously, body language indicating that the trail set did not go as planned! Khun A was still arranging beer and beverages in their appropriate coolers. Boob-a-loob was applying a thick coating of vaseline to his nipples, then moved to his crotch to do the same. No one dared to look for fear of turning into a pillar of salt! Short-shorts was busily counting and reconciling cash with the number of attendees.
Finally the joint mistress Codpiece filling in for the absent GM Jumpstsart called for the circle and instructions from the hares which was very minimal….shredded paper and chalk marks the trail and don’t run too fast ’cause you will get back too early! With that, front runners Eetan, No Meat, Tom Yum Goong and Weedeater darted out to the khlong pathway only to encounter a check within 200m. Luckily for me being at the ass of the pack, it was a back check and I quickly was in front as the trail went down Onnut Soi 66. Another 200m and another check! Most of the pack assumed backcheck but again wrong. The trail picked up forward to the grumbling of Sauerkraut and Slippery-when-Wet having to claw their way back to the front once more!
At about the 1.0km mark along the trail the 1st break from the monotonous concrete occurred as the path entered a wooden boardwalk leading into a small banana grove. Although less than 150m long it was quite pleasant and a welcomed change of scenery. I remember this garden spot from a previous run and it was a good find of Short Change! Back to the hard-surface once more but now the trail winds cleverly around a maze of sub-sois which made the journey more interesting and made the senses more keenly aware to spot the trail marks for quick deviations to the right or left.
Now, 3.2km into the trail, the pack had separated into distinct groups. Of course I was at the rear, joined by NoNo, Maverick, Aunties Bitch, Hot Mix and Knockout Neptune. This group was moving at a rather slow pace, however, once the chalk scribbled “On-In” was spotted, Aunties Bitch and Knockout Neptune could smell the beer and they broke into a sort of jog that resembled an event from the paralympics. Finally completing the trail and arriving at the A-site, the group of grandmas, Nibbles, Normal, were firmly planted in their chairs sipping beverages from their personal, insulated containers.
Splat had her customary position in front of the snack table, daring anyone to reach in for the goodies. NoNo was seated on the tailgate of the piss truck puffing on what he would say was “my first cigarette today”.
Soon Khun A was noticed filling up the down-down cups which signalled that the circle was about to begin. Codpiece called the circle to assemble within minutes and hare and co-hare were summoned to the middle. Then the joint GM went on his usual ritual of quizzing each and every member of the pack what they thought of the trail. This certainly eats up a considerable amount of circle time and additional beer consumption. Now the circle was passed to RA Tinker who immediately forgot what he was supposed to do and then suddenly nominations for Tits-of-the-Week were requested. Slippery-when-wet did get this award but I don’t remember why! Announcements were given and clarified by Hash expert Boobaloob.
The circle was adjourned and then it was off to the whole-in-the-wall eatery about 50m away. Although the place looks a bit dodgy, the food is actually good. A standard Thai fare of Som Tam, Laab, soup, omelette, fried rice was served and consumed along with the cold beer. At the end of the on-after, the pack was treated to a heavy subsidy by the hare on the meal! Thanks Sizzler and Short Change for a good trail and excellent on-after!
Run 2048 on Wednesday 9 March 2022
Location:- Bang Krachao, Baan Lung Au
Wow, nearly a long long year since the Pranburi 2000th run. Malinee’s Port run reconstituted after the Sanitary section objected to our using their parking area. We had used this area for many years. Wonder why? Maybe there is a new director or we were seen to be unsanitary farangs with no Covid masks – maybe. Anyhow Malineee found a new run site just across the river from the normal Klong Toie port. And a lovely restaurant it was too. Just a bit of learning on how to get there. Hashers coming in from many directions, some by car, some by boat, and some by motorcycle. Maverick last making sure everyone was across.
Jump Start the GM, heavily laden with shopping, called the circle. KC briefed us on Sheepshaggers deteriorating condition after his stroke on Monday; no visitors please. He will update as required. Malinee stepped in with some instructions, especially for the visiting girls – one a very fit Canadian girl and two sex tourists. About 20 turned up, Sourkraut, slippery lilly, the visitor and Checkless being the FRBs.
Out and right down some tight alleys between houses then a check. Most know it’s straight on except Checkless – silly bugger! Would it be a road jog or what? Bearing left towards the park the hare introduced us to a bit of undergrowth. Then into the park proper. Walkers now far behind, but that would change. Malinee can be very tricky! After a bit of forest trail the paper took us deep into more undergrowth. The visiting wonder woman found what Hashing is all about with some testing branches as bridges over watery stuff. She ‘womaned up’ and made it over without getting wet shoes. She embarrased KC as he could not ‘man up’ and went around the watery risks.
The FRB’s got caught out by running round and round in circles, first on Malinees fresh paper, then on old paper, will they ever learn? But this allowed the pack to rejoin by the park. Great. Then it was a steady jog back to the river and Mr Oh’s restaurant. What a great run!
As usual tasty nibbles with Mr Cheese from Australia bringing along a block of cranberry cheese and biscuits. Must be a new vegitarian varity; amazing what food scientists can do now! There was Malinees famous sour dip with MORE vegatables. Jumping Jack had now sold her shopping and called in the circle. Returners and visitors. Then the RA Tinkerbell stepped in and called for a moments quite to think of Sheepshagger in hospital fighting for his life. No TOTW.
We know Sheepshagger is thinking of us and shouting “well get on with it – more beer” The on on on was beautifully by the river and excellent food. Many shouts of ‘Can we have more beer please teacher” She willingly kept the supply going a while, then rapped some over the knuckles to stop (like Ambrose) and called for the bill. Bt100 each. At this point Ambrose and his guest found they had left their cash at home (WTF!) – thanks for subsidising us Malinee.
Run 2047 on Wednesday 2 March 2022
Location:- Maha Sawat, One CC
Hare:- Grenny’s Tits
The promise of lush green trails and a very nice One CC restaurant had me arriving at the A-site 30 minutes early. However, the trip from Ratchapruek motorway to One CC had me highly skeptical that this territory actually existed! By 17:00hrs less than 10 hounds had assembled and it looked like a very small pack would be enjoying this oversold landscape today! The hare “Grannies Tits” was called into the circle to give instructions where he said that you will encounter a chalked “GTS” acronym that stands for Grannies Tit Show.
In anticipation to score a visual hit on this barechested old Thai lady, the pack set off on the road to the left and about 500m out, a paper trail led into a banana orchard. But not for long, as frontrunners Weedeater, No Meat, Codpiece, Turdburgler and Eetan came lumbering back to the concrete from a false trail. Another 300m along the concrete the trail goes into a green patch to the left but again it’s no-go FT that the front runners sniffed out quite quickly before returning to the monotonous, 4-wheeled hard surface. Finally, after a full 1km of the road, the trail leads off to the left onto a cement khlong path. This is where the pack encounters the “GTS” inscription, but where is this old but lovely display of mammary glands? Nowhere to be found! Another promise unfulfilled. More will follow.
After 800m on this straight and excruciating path a t-intersection ends the torture temporarily. Tinker correctly identifies this as Suan Phak Soi 32 and promptly declares that he is going to the left and back to the A-site (the trail is marked to the right!). He had plenty of company as he was followed by Maverick, Hema, Hot Mix, Aunties Bitch, Sheepshagger, Slum Dog and Mrs. Slum Dog like a bunch of lemmings searching for a cliff to fall off of!
From this point for the remainder of the trail, I was a pack of one. I really prefer that since people tend to annoy the hell out of me! After about 400m on the correct trail I arrive at the big Khlong that is the boundary between Nonthaburi and Bangkok Provinces. Trekking due east for a long 700m, relief was in the form of a short soi road before heading north onto another khlong, hard surface path then back onto road winding north and west for at least 2km. A short klong had the trail exiting onto a very wide and unused soi. In the distance, I see “green”! Can it be true? Arriving at the green edge, the trail indeed goes in as do I. My GPS is reading 5km at this point. However, after leaving that patch the primary composition of the ground was ankle breaking broken concrete boulders that made me wish I was still on the road! 100m down the road, paper goes into the green again, but not me! Realizing that the A-site is less than 1km away, sticking to the level surface is my idea of a safe way back to the beer.
Arriving at the finish, the pack has grown as Pinkpanther and GM Jumpstart were late comers. But then, a motocy enters the A-site with Tinker! Shows you short-cutting will get you! The Circle is called by the GM and the Hares are immediately charged and rewarded for their deeds with down-downs. Boobalube was not looking well. His head had red scabs, probably a lice infection. After a few unintelligible charges, it was time for RA Tinker to run the circle. The comedy continues. Suffering several senior “moments”, he misidentifies Tickler as the GM and then launches into Tits of the Week on a totally unrelated charge. The circle was finally closed and Porkfinder carefully counted every empty bottle to make sure the cash was accurately charged.
The on-after consisted of an assortment of tasty Thai dishes and of course BEER! As the meal was completed, the anticipated cash collection never occurred! The Hare, Grannies Tits subsidized the entire meal! Thanks so much for trail effort and the very generous on-after!
Run 2045 on Wednesday 16 February 2022
Location:- Rama 3 Road, Seafresh
A large crowd of Hashers showed up for Weedeater’s Bangkok Harriettes run on Rama III Road, eager to reconnect with their friend recently released from COVID-19 prison. A well-known vaccine denier, Weedeater had only injected himself with two AstraZeneca shots and two Moderna shots, which of course were powerless to prevent the dastardly Coronavirus. Weedeater would do well to emulate our fellow Hasher Bog Diver, who at last count had given himself six injections, and, at least to this Scribe’s knowledge, still has not caught the bug. Among the many pre-run questions, many were curious what inflicted greater suffering: COVID-19 or ten days of quarantine with No Meat.
Weedeater’s run started at a lovely riverside restaurant close to the junction of RAMA III Road and Sathu Pradit Road. The hare had arranged a boat to transport the Hashers to the run start, so that there was no need to run along Rama III Road for two kilometers at the beginning of the run. The hallmark of an experienced and caring hare!
The trail meandered through Yannawa neighborhoods on canal walkways, quiet road, and concrete paths. Some tough checks kept the pack together for a good while before long stretches of checkless running towards the end spread out the pack. Your scribe returned to origin after 8.3 km of good city Hashing.
Grand Mistress Jumpstart presided over a lively Circle. After down-downs were given to the hare, to visitors, and to returners, Religious Advisors Tinker and Pussy Virus delighted the crowd with their wit and humor. Of note, long time returner Bushman informed that the Swakop River in his native Namibia had emptied water into the Atlantic Ocean for the first time in fourteen years, and even longer time returner Turd Burglar announced his plan to run a marathon in October on his decrepit ankle. We wish him all the luck he undoubtedly will need… Oh, and someone got the prestigious tits of the week award and closed the Circle for the day.
Thank you to Weedeater for a good day of Hashing!
Run 2044 on Wednesday 9 February 2022
Location:- Pakkret, Wat Toei
Hares:- Bullit and No Good Boyo
A good size pack formed up in the ferry car park opposite Wat Toei. Amongst the faces not often seen on a Harriettes run were No Good Boyo who was co-hare, bag carrier and general factotum, Porkfinder and three visitors brought along by Mrs Slumdog, two of which were reputed to be Hash virgins. Notable by his absence was the hare, Bullit. When GM Jumpstart turned down her music and called the pack to order No Good Boyo explained that there had been a ‘mango rains’ downpour just after they’d finished laying the trail so the hare was going round re-papering the trail.
Under the co-hare’s guidance we adjourned to the waiting ferry which Capt’n Erik declined to pilot as he thought he wouldn’t get paid enough for the job. The ferry disgorged us on Koh Kret, an island which has seen many Hash runs over the years but none in the last decade or two (possibly not even in this millennium) that your scribe can remember. We were told it was a B to B run, so we should end up at the same pier.
The pack set off with the usual FRBs augmented by No Meat, Weedeater and Tom Yam Gung who nowadays is a rare sight on a Harriettes run. You scribe set off at a more dignified pace, and was pleased to see a split in the trail with a ‘W’ pointing straight up the path and the main trail going left. By the time the trails re-joined the FRBs were behind the walkers, but they soon noisily passed. At this point Team Biggadike-Sharp appeared to be winning, but Tom Yam Gung and Codpiece were in hot pursuit.
Your scribe was very happy to get back to the start without any mud on his shoes, as all the ground around the raised walkways the trail took us along looked extremely muddy and slippery. We then had to wait for the stragglers to return before we were able to get the boat back to the Hash beer. To help us pass the time the hare had generously bought a selection of Leo and Chang so we wouldn’t die of thirst. The gesture was also appreciated by a local who collected the empties for recycling.
Back at the car park social drinking commenced, before novice GM Jumpstart called the pack to order. The usual down downs were given out and then the RAs took over – no less than three of them – Codpiece, Tinker and No Meat. By the time the third RA took the stage the pack was getting hungry – after all, this is a Bangkok Hash not a Pattaya Hash with their interminable circles. However there was just time for Codpiece to award Tits of the Week to one of the visitors who seemed bemused at the strange ritual.
Then it was On-On-On to the riverside restaurant, which was doing good business even without/despite the Hash.
Many thanks to the hare and co-hare for a good event despite the unfortunate timing of the rain.
Run 2039 Wednesday 5 January 2022
Venue: Kanchanapisek, Cowboy Restaurant
It’s been a long time since we ran from the East Cowboy restaurant. Some thought 3 years. There is this whopping great flyover taking the Srinakarin –Rom Klao Road over the Outer Ring Road 9. The cowboy restaurant is nearly underneath. This new road opens up the Krungtep Kreeta area to Mu Baan development; and there is plenty of it. For the moment there are some runs left with open fields, but in a year or so, what?
The hares had done their best to explain to the restaurant owner what was going to happen; all had seemed OK. Until 15 HHH cars turned up to fill his customers parking area. There ensued a lot of polite conversation in Thai. Luckily KC stayed out of it as his contribution (social amplification) would have probably resulted in never running from there again! The combination of sweet Harriettes and obliging drivers to move cars around placated the owner who, with 2 thumbs UP, exited the stage. The hares did their best to hide in the bushes – a good move. Luckily No No had not automatically gone to the West Cowboy restaurant in Nonthaburi.
The GM called Checkless the hare in to the circle “where is the run”. Checkless thought it better to keep his mask on. No one could hear him so he emulated the bees and did a dance to provide the instructions, luckily he did not include suitable chemical smells of cows, buffalos and dogs. But we got the drift and headed off down a dirt track, through a truck park and into a check in Wat Lat Bua Khao (white Lotus). Out onto Klong Wang Mai and heading east. Will we go under the ring road? No we turned left and passed through a farmers house and out into the first wide field trying hard to be a mubaan. This field had once been a lake beloved by Eat Me who set many runs from this area. The FRBs were taken on a wide loop allowing those behind to cut across and beat them to the exit and 2nd check. Dusty gravel road and paper turning right into another field, hard going underfoot.
Then much klong path running spreading the pack out. But many remembered the area so no risk of getting lost. One fun part was a check set in the centre of a large overgrown field with no obvious tracks. The rear guard were able to short cut this field leaving the FRBs out to graze. Eventually they found the way out and the trail headed for home. The hares Checkless and his bitch Bullit in the circle of course, and to be disciplined by the GM for the earlier car parking confusion. Then Checkless called back in by the RA for TOTW – BUT he luckily escaped as Klong Dump self-nominated by accusing the RA. Hell he is ugly dressed as a girl with tits and a wig. A reminder that the following Monday was Captain Eric’s 80th birthday.
On On On to the restaurant. Good food, especially the beef soup.
Run 2037 Wednesday 22 December 2021
Venue: Chatuchak, Railway Driving Range
Hare: The Senator
The senator had laid his trail around Chatuchak Park and waited to see who would turn up. A good gaggle of girls and some blokes. This being the Harriettes we had Sizzler standing in as GM for Kim. There was Malinee, Tim, Eatme – and newcomers Jessica, Georgia and Anette from the Bangkok teachers group.
Senator warned us about getting close to cars at an off ramp – a good clue. Then off we went. We did a long circuit of the cars with 2 checks. Then settled down into running around the perimeter of the park.
Little Georgia was like a whippet streaking this was then that. There was no stopping her. Mr 2 Bottles; the cranky Danish visitor asked if he could run round again as the old men had held him up when they should have been playing pool like all the other old farts. Tit of the Week went to little Georgia.
Jessica proposed that her group of girl teachers join the Harriettes and make it an all girl Hash. Yes shouted Sizzler. Here’s hoping. On on
Food Review: Railway Golf Course Restaurant
The OOO was memorable for its copacetic setting – outdoor dining on a lovely evening with a splendid view of the city lights beyond the former driving range.
Food and beer appeared immediately as the Hash gathered. The servers were attentive and wore a path between the kitchen and our table as they served the festive Christmas feast.
The Senator claimed that this was as good as railway food gets. Methinks he never actually ate what came from the dining car on a train. It’s a blessing that COVID has put an end to railway dining, a decline that began years ago when booze was prohibited. (At that time, some railroad staff, eating at the old Baan Makaam restaurant, explained why conductors; frequently had to break up fights between drunken passengers – sometimes knife fights. Saying that, one of them looked nervously over his shoulder at Teerachai.)
Just Jessica never strayed from Khun A’s snack table at the circle, and continued her attack on anything edible at the OnOnOn table. But fortunately, Boob was at her end of the table, who “as usual” (Thank you Brain Health) disdained anything except Heineken, so it balanced out. Nothing but scraps and shrimp shells left at that end.
The other end of the table was just overwhelmed by the volume of food, mountains of fried rice, tureens of green curry and some slimy Chinese soup that was proclaimed “more than edible”. There were no scraps or shrimp shells, thanks to Tinker, who continued his disgusting habit of eating trash and street food. When his canape on toasted bread dropped on the pavement, landing upside down, he applied the five-second rule. Thitiya does not believe in the five-second rule, and let her disapproval show – violently. Khun A also whacked Tink for picking the topping off the pavement.
Did you ever hear of the “Hovercat”? As we all know – right KC ? – when a cat is held by the legs and dropped upside-down, it twists in mid-air and lands on its feet. As we also well know – right Tink? – when an open-face sandwich is dropped, it twists in mid-air to land on the open-face filling. So strap an open-face sandwich onto the back of a cat, and drop it. The cat attempts to land on its feet and the sandwich attempts to land on the open face. In a mid-air battle, neither succeeds in landing the way it wants. Thus the Hovercat.
Run 2036 Wednesday 15 December 2021
Venue: Chonburi M’way, Gustavia
Hares: Maverick and Nibbles
Occasion: Mav’s 6th Cycle Special Day
Weather: Perfect, a repeat of last week’s weather. Expected to continue.
The Tale of the Trail
1700: We started on the right, thru the parking space. The first check was a check-back on the usual trail to the right. Ambrose was prepared for a hiking trip with two ski poles, or else he was spearing the scrap paper that litters Bangkok’s streets. Captain hestiated at the tracks – a left or right-hander?
Pom broke some checks – maybe all the checks. Sizzler was looking good. Short-shorts passed KC. The first legs had long stretches where the runners could stretch their legs. The trail was well-marked, a good thing because there was not much calling on the run. The runner’s and walker’s trails parted at the klong, with a not-too-long short option down along the klong. Two Bottles arrived back first, just ahead of Bullit.
1830: Everyone had drifted in. Trickler brought up the rear, just behind Crash.
The Sitting Circle
Everyone settled easily into the sitting circle. KC lugged an abandoned wooden chair into the circle, abandoning his customary position as an observer behind the periphery. Khun A loaded the table with fruit and veggie dip. Tinker had to beg Slumbog (Slumpdog?) for salt replenishment snacks.
The GM, in her stunning Gucci running shoes, called the circle to order, and began a very enthusiastic round of intros. Hare & Co thanks, A young and desirable visiting Hasher on a re-visit after three years of the Harriettes being starved of beefcake, and New Boots who finally sold their investments to be able to afford membership.
GM handed over to the RA who proceeded to invite Tinker into the circle to display the undersized yet flamboyant BMH3 T-shirts that he and Tinker were wearing. I thought they looked like a couple of aged extras from an old Star Trek episode, you know, the extras who don’t rate a name because they get eaten by a Zork in the first few minutes.
After many trumped-up charges, it was TOTW time, with nothing outstanding by either candidate to rate the TOTW. It should have gone to Ambrose, who invaded some poor family’s klongside private property demanding to use the pisser. But instead, in this kangaroo court, it went to Roger Me. Only because he was FOYC to defend the ROC ASAP from the PRC’s PLA. Woody, the good wife, posed with her man.
Socialist drinking and bragging followed.
The Gustavia OOO
Lashings of farang food, pizza in astonishing varieties, Auntie’s Bitch demonstrating how to carve up spaghetti, squeeze bags of dry red, and bottles of Red that we were afraid to drink. Conversation flowed along with the beer. We guessed Gustavia had something to do with August. Learned from KON that green olives are closely related to black olives, and learned from Snakebite that white pepper is closely related to black pepper. All fascinating stuff to Eetan, really.
Quite sumptuous all in all, and the Hare generously subsidized the feast. 100%. Don’t expect this from me when I hare. I might subsidize those disgusting little hot dogs with the split ends.
Run 2033 Wednesday 24 November 2021
Venue: Nakon Chaisi Road, Ratchawat Market
It just started to cool down a bit in Bangkok for the famous 2034 Wednesday Harriettes run, which was really needed considering that the Hash site was in an underground car park. It felt more like a secret mafia meeting or a scene from the cold war.
Considering the proud age of the majority of the Hashers, a walker’s option was offered starting at 4 pm. According to the co-hare, 5 walkers turned up and were guided round the trail by Tinker, the hare of the day. Not much was reported back, but nobody got lost, which is quite an achievement in it’s own right considering the advanced age of the walking pack.
Just before 5pm the runners showed up, 6 altogether, and after some wise words of the co-hare about ‘simple’ checks and a short run of only 9 k, even with a shortcutting option, the rather small pack set off. Ambrose, the latest arrival, said that he actually wanted to join the walkers, but was held up somehow and missed a bus. Anyway, off we went along shopping alleys, roads and busy pavements before we ran along some back alleys and even along some klongs. The pack split early on with Pussivirus, Ithan and Cod Piece taking the lead, followed by Ambrose, Sauerkraut and Slippery When Wet. We came along some parks, which are always co fusing with myriads of normal runners, who don’t look actually much different.
Slowly darkness krept in and after circling around Victory Monument a few times, Ambrose took a taxi. Sauerkraut was determined to make it to a rumoured beer check, but after ample unsuccessful attempts to solve a check after leaving Victory Monument caved in too and took a no.14 bus back to the run site with Wet When Slippery.
With most of the Hashers back, Kim providing some highly appreciated fruit and nibbles and a beer in one hand, the desolate car park looked much friendlier. And, as intended, we did not get disturbed during the circle.
Everybody got a down-down, most two, particularly the hares and Sauerkraut, the returner. He also qualified against Tinker for ‘Tit of the Week’ with a thundering majority of shouting. He never knew that he was so popular, and it was a thoughtful addition to his ‘Prick of the Week’ award from Monday’s run. Anyway, after this highlight if the week about half the pack joined the On-on in a obscure chinese restaurant (most likely used for money laundering and controlled by triades with the speciality of pickled fingers), the rest dispersed in all directions. Another good run, thanks Tinker and Co.
Run 2030 Wednesday 21 April 2021
Venue: Pakkret, Wat Toei
Hares: Hema and Bullit
Weather: Perfect, clear evening skies with an incandescent orange setting sun spreading flames of crimson over the Chao Phraya. (The time of sunset is dictated by two factors – the earth’s tilt which makes the daylight hours longer or shorter as we move through the seasons, and to a lesser extent because the earth’s orbit around the sun is an ellipse rather than a circle which makes the “solar midday” move. OK, got that? Just nod your heads. Now we can move on.)
Notice in the Newsletter: “This is a boat run and it will leave at 17:00 sharp. Don’t miss the boat!”
Despite the threat, the hares stalled, waiting for Ambrose. He was expected to be fashionably late, but apparently Ambrose had other plans. Meanwhile the pack settled into a comfortable lethargy aboard the Minnow, with the silence broken only by old-person noises. Hema, completely knackered, shuffled across the deck and sat heavily with a loud “ooh-ahhh” groan, easily taking first place in the old-person noise contest; Rawhide was a distant runner-up.
At 17:16:46 sharp the Minnow cast off, swung about in mid-stream, and motored down the Chao Phraya, past the leaning tower of Koh Kred to port, past Wat Bang Jaak’s really ugly giant gilded seated Buddha to starboard, and after an intimidatingly long cruise, discharged us somewhere near what I hoped was no further from Wat Toei than Wat Saliko.
It was an 8.3 km A to B trail with little chance for a short-cut, and with most of the checking and solving done by Ice, Off (the bag lady), Dembuster, Eetan & Co. The checks were well-broken (kudos to Off and Woody). Leading from the rear were Short-Shorts, Tickler, Splat & Svend, somewhat together, with Tinker malingering at the far rear, DFL. KC flitted in and out of the FRB pack, not a testimony to the well-laid trail, but the result of KC’s signature style of blind overshooting, consternation, realization, and recovery. (This is an observation from a previous scribe.) Somehow that got KC to the virgin beer stop, while the other FRBs like Roger Me, who refuse to follow KC, missed the beer stop completely. They short-cut the beer stop loop.
OK, I can see the look of consternation passing over Roger Me’s face. FAKE NEWS! There was no beer stop.
There were a couple of challenges that could have been rewarded with a beer stop, like our balancing on the palm log as we pussy-footed over a ditch’s fetid water and squirmed under the barbed-wire fence – only to see Cap’n Eric sailing along toward the Shell station. The wily old captain had been using his new blue wrist GPS.
Out onto Chaiyapreuk road, a bit of a jog alongside traffic for our daily dose of fumes, then right through some shrubberies, over the watergate at Klong Pra-udom, and east along the bank of the Chao Phraya. (Note to hares: there was quite a bit of dog poop on the walkway. Required some fancy footwork. Was this intentional?)
On past the guys fishing, really ugly giant Buddha, River Wine, and the “On-In”. (Another note to hares: perhaps after another kilometre a bit of a reassurance, like “Yes, this really, really is the On-In!”.)
The last walker walked in by 18:42. Khun Ae’s gai yang snacks went down well, Hema was feeling remorse for his pre-run outburst against persons unknown, Woody was wondering how to handle the RA stuff without the RA (and without 80% of her committee), and the rest of the pack slowly settled into the old-person sitting circle mode.
Woody eventually interrupted the beer and snacks banter, and called the circle.
Hare & Co called in for recognition. (Had to wait a few minutes for Hema to shuffle to the middle of the circle.) The undoubtedly virgin trail took us in and out of the paths thru the greenery, on and off the walkways, over klongs, down sois past neighborhood kids, finished with a sunset flourish – all the good stuff. The trail was accorded a “Cap’n Eric 3F”, the highest possible rank.
Returners Splat & Co were next invited in for a tiny Harriettes’ beer, which keeps the run fees low. Ditto for the new boot, Ice. Welcome!
Woody likes to run a circle exuberantly. Tons of charges. KC jumps in when Woody pauses for breath. Tickler admonishes KC. DDs for Tinker for his borrowed chair, Whippet Cream for sex tourism, Short-Shorts for having anything to do with Tinker, et alia, the ritual culminating with a striptease by KC’s TOTW performance.
Next came the announcements that everyone forgets, including this shocker by Woody: with the latest RTG edict of 3 m asocial distancing, for the foreseeable future there will be no circle because the diameter would be impossibly large. Just a lot of dispersed socialist drinking.
There was some money laundering at the entrance to the restaurant – the bills and coins in our pockets, purses, and wallets were thoroughly cleaned of COVID with alcohol gel by the staff. The OOO was made even more memorable with lashings of fried rice, speakeasy beer (very classy tall stainless teacups – you can buy one for THB 200), and the real shocker, Hema shouted the OOO! (Woody’s announcement was a FAKE NEWS shocker.) Off-Limits’ training is working on Hema!
The end of another good day in Bangkok. Thanks hares. (And Khun Ae.)
Afterword: Rawhide paid me 100 Baht to be mentioned prominently in the write-up. So, Hi Rawhide!
Early on there was thick jungle, garbage, and mud ( in all stages: hard, soft, and liquid. Later there were lots of klong paths, and water hazards, just deep enough to clean the mud off our shoes. There was also an intimate interaction with several cows. As was advertised, it was a reasonably short run, and the generous runners broke most of the checks.
Run 2029 Wednesday 14 April 2021
Venue: Chonburi Motorway, Gustavia
Hare: Tom Yam Gung
The pack gathered at a new venue, Gustavia Cafe, in a familiar area. The restaurant was beautiful, much too nice for the hash. The circle was called by acting GM Woody. Instructions were given, including to follow Dambuster in the beginning of the trail, or we might not find the trail, and off we went. Having listened to the instructions, we did follow Dambuster, who after about 50 meters, went off trail. We did end up on trail, and it was an excellent one.
Early on there was thick jungle, garbage, and mud ( in all stages: hard, soft, and liquid. Later there were lots of klong paths, and water hazards, just deep enough to clean the mud off our shoes. There was also an intimate interaction with several cows. As was advertised, it was a reasonably short run, and the generous runners broke most of the checks.
The circle was again called by Woody, and the consensus was that the run was great. Thanks to Tom Yam Gung, and her co hare Boob a Lube. RA Sizzler then took over. There was a failed effort to sing special Songkran songs. After a few charges, Tits of the week was awarded to Dambuster, for several infractions.
The On ON On was fantastic, and was generously sponsored by the Hares.
Run 2028 Wednesday 7 April 2021
Venue: Seri Thai Road, Nang Talung
Six hundred meters, you’re off your rocker
Six hundred meters, that’s a real shocker
No one imagined that a Harriett’s hare
Would try to make us run way back there
It’s usually 100 or thereabouts
Max 150 to cover all doubts
Six hundred meters, that was the case
Running around all over the place
I couldn’t find it, so I walked home with Tickler
For following trail he’s usually a stickler
But on Tholidaskids day
He couldn’t find the way
So Tholidaskid my friend
If you want us to make the end
Chose another co – hare
One who will care
Not send us on a wild goose chase
All over the place
Roger Me is renowned
For well marking the ground
What can I say
He had an off day
I’m sure the next time
His trail will be fine
That’s enough complaining
At least it wasn’t raining
Not like yesterday
When it pissed down all the way
Anyway, back to the run
Overall it was fun
In the circle we had some amusing bits
Aunties Bitch was the winner of tits
Then on to the restaurant which was very near
Sumptuous food washed down with beer
Thanks to the hare
For getting us there
Food by the plate load, beer drunk in liters
Just across the carpark, not six hundred meters
Run 2027 Wednesday 31 March 2021
Venue: Onnut Soi 51/3
Hare: Knockout Neptune
The worst Run of the year was hosted last Siam Sunday with Knockout Neptune being a key part of that Amble. So the Pack assembled with much trepidation, concerned at how badly this Meander could be messed up. Generally speaking, we were all unimpressed at KN’s attempt to make a balls of this Trundle because the Hare did a good job and obviously learnt something in the 3-day gap (either that or the addition of the all knowing Max Factor and Auntie’s Bitch had kept the Hare on the right track).
To further heighten the fear, Chalk Talk consisted of telling everyone that the restaurant we were standing next to was closed and that Max Factor had organized for food and beer to be brought to the restaurant. The immediate suspicion was that the Hare hadn’t done any reckys.
To distract attention, Maverick engaged everyone in his latest quest, which is to work out how to delete Line and install Pigeon Post app (using real pigeons) for sending messages. Apparently the 21st Century is too fast and hectic for him and he’s still reminiscing over the Roman Empire when horses would carry messages from Rome to Hadrian’s Wall in a matter of weeks.
The Ramble left the carpark heading left to a pedestrian bridge and it took the FRBs (Shaggy and Codpiece) a while to find True Trail. This enabled the back of the Pack to shamefully reduce the length of their exercise by shortcutting past the 1st check. Allegedly only Shaggy, Codpiece, 4×2 and Short Shorts did the whole trail but everyone knows that despite not being there that Boob-a-Lube also did the whole trail.
The 2nd check was extremely hard to break and ensured that the whole Pack was tight together. As did the 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th and 9th which all appeared within the next 100 metres. It was beginning to look like the Hare had a Czech fetish but eventually the Trail opened up leaving Shaggy and Codpiece to break the few remaining checks with assistance from Phalidaskid who turned up 15 minutes late and still overtook most Hashers.
The Course consisted largely of khlong paths with a few obstacles thrown in to trip people up (sleeping policemen, barriers and barbed wire). There was one FT, which was thankfully not a YBF. Later on, it was assumed that the Hare was trying to kill the Pack by making us cross an intersection with a minimum car speed limit of 150 km/h. It turned out that Senator had upset Max earlier in the week and so this suicide mission was only meant for him and that the rest of us would have been mere collateral damage.
Codpiece and Shaggy decided to wind Auntie’s Bitch up at the end of the Trespass. Before the Yomp, AB had told everyone that he’d marked the poles and Max Factor had marked the floor so when these two arrived they promptly told AB that there had been no markings on poles or anything else that was above floor level and no paper either. AB became very flustered and made excuses, blaming Trump, blaming Brexit and of course blaming Covid until the two put him out of his misery and said they were winding him up as the Route had been well marked.
Rawhide was spotted at the Loei Bush Hash recently, where he told everyone that he had retired from Hashing. However, he was back again for more punishment at this Stroll although he came to his senses and buggered off before the Circle (either that or we assumed he’d gone home and he is actually at the bottom of a khlong).
Jump Start brought a New Boot to the Event and we hope to see Mike again although he was awarded Tits of the Week so maybe we won’t.
Despite the restaurant being closed the food was very good and the beer flowing. They even managed to arrange for a Heineken ban.
Run 2026 Wednesday 24 March 2021
Venue: Nonthaburi, TaKeing Keing Nam
Run 2026 saw Tickler being the Hare. It started off with good omens because the Harriettes had more Harriettes at the Chalk Talk than Harriers. Is this a sign of things to come when Aretha Franklin is proved right with “sisters are doing it for themselves”? The Scribe has been on Harriette events in other countries where women have to be at the front of the Pack at all times. If a runner with a dangly bit breaks a check he must shout “I need a woman” and wait until he’s overtaken.
Prior to kick off Boob-a-Lube was overheard telling Shaggy that they were the only two real runners at the event today, thankfully his wife didn’t hear and it’s highly unlikely anyone is reading this nonsense so she’ll never know.
Boob-a-Lube also told everyone that he and Gung had spent the previous 24 hours eating, drinking and making merriment in a lovers hotel near the Chaopraya. KC was up to his usual tricks on trail, of checking 150m (miles) instead of 150m (metres) and thus getting onto a much later bit of trail in the wrong direction. As for Gung, she obviously hadn’t been fully satisfied during her time in the hotel because she was full of speed and agility. The other front running Harriette was Patpom. Shaggy was desperately trying to keep up with these two and wished he could suddenly change into Shaggette as it was clearly woman’s hour on the Amble.
Nibbles had to move her car from one carpark to the Circle area and decided that her Humvee is no different to a motorsy as she drove the wrong way along a very narrow road to get between the two points.
Pussy Virus and Weedeater turned up late, short cut seriously and PV won the race. Although as any true Hasher will tell you “there are no winners on the Hash, we’re all losers”.
Amazing bouts of speed were seen from Captain Usain and his brother Snowy Bolt as they kept appearing ahead of the front runners.
Mr and Mrs. Tinker decided to show that there’s still romance in this young couple by deliberately wandering off trail to canoodle together. Whilst Pink Panther spent his time trying to buy durian from farmers who had long since stopped polluting the area with its smell.
The Trundle was an unusual one for Tickler because it was much more of a runner’s run than normal. He managed to pack in lots of twists and turns as we went from runnable shiggy, to harder shiggy, to easy running terrain. A great trail that he managed to fit into the size of a postage stamp.
The Circle was run by the comedy duo of Pussy Virus and Weedeater. PV has grown since I first knew him. He used to be simply tall but he’s grown into the Jolly Green Giant and was towering over City Girl at their joint fine. She looked like she was normal Thai size.
During the ONONON, Snakebite was pimping porn in the shape of 2 cobras having sex in the bushes when he was on his way to Loei.
The meal was a varied and tasty spread of Thai food, which Tickler very kindly paid for.
Run 2024 Wednesday 10 March 2021
Venue: Chalerm Prakiat Soi 47
Two Oh two four, the number Eetan was looking for, to set a Harriets run,
that look of distain as we stood in the rain hoping for an evening of fun.
We sat in reception, wanting a weather correction, or we would be pissed upon tonight,
Would this be the day, Eetan’s chalk washed away or has set the run right?
Five fifteen came, we braved the rain, and off down the road we did sail,
a long haul up the klong, running swiftly along, until there we find a false trail.
To get back on trail, it was a fail, and we ended up missing some,
but not to worry, we ran on in a hurry, there was plenty more good stuff to come.
We ran left and right, but there was no sight, of the much sought-after chalk mark,
we ran round and round, in circles but found, no trail as it started to get dark.
Eventually it came, an arrow which survived the rain, and now we were on track,
the hares took a walk, with plenty of chalk, to remark so we could find our way back.
We were close to the end, round one final bend, and we arrived at starting point A
In just on 1 hour, despite missing flour, 8k’s and a wonderful day.
Sizzler stepped in, to the shoes of Kim, who again was unable to show,
down downs we did seek, followed by tits of the week, then off to the restaurant we did go.
Splendid foods, and plenty of booze, at a price we all like to pay
Well done to Eetan, and his supporting hare fan, for providing a splendid day.
Run 2023 Wednesday 3 March 2021
Venue: Pattanakan, Aroi Dee
A good. turnout of 27 hashers arrived mostly on time at the run site by the side of a restaurant on Pattanakan Road. Hashers in attendance comprised Nibbles, Normal, City Girl, Maxfactor, Bollywood, Crash, Angle, Sizzler, Eat me, Pat Pom , Whippet Cream, Snakebite , Eetan, Dambuster, 4X2, Maverick, Auntie’s Bitch, Hema, Ambrose, Codpiece, Boob-a-loob, Lurch, Knockout Neptune, Tickler, The Captain, No No and The Senator.
The pack set off with a moderate amount of enthusiasm from the runsite down a lane lined by small mechanic shops. A right turn and a left turn brought us to a bridge where the trail turned left down a klong path curving north to check 1. Codpiece checked north but the trail was found to the right along a dusty track passed some heavy machinery.
We were advised by the hare that there were no dogs but to look out for cows which were inquisitive but mostly harmless. The trail then turned left into some rough while Boob-a-loob continued on the track before later rejoining the trail. The route curved right and then branched left down a klong path coming to a check. The trail was found across a wooden bridge to a house and slight left into turned ground opening out onto a track with wandering goats.
The tree-lined track continued ESE with a large pond to the left before skirting right around another pond lined with dried out mud banks. The trail then joined another klong path reached by a small jump. A good run along the klong path brought us to the next check with distant barking dogs where the gaps between the klong path and the adjacent land were bridged by thin planks.
By this time the pack was well spread out with Codpiece, Boob-a-loob, Bollywood, Eetan, Dambuster and Whippet Cream forming the front runner pack. Eetan found the trail, heading WNW while Boob-a-loob and Codpiece wisely chose a short cut. The actual trail passed a group of cows including a sucking calf. Dambuster edged gingerly by losing valuable time while Whippet Cream decided to detour back.
A left turn brought the trail to join Codpiece and Boob-a-loob’s route where a log fence proved a little complicated for Codpiece to navigate. The trail then ducked left winding through a small village including someone’s patio. It was at this point, without a good line of sight to the runners ahead that I lost the pack and more time was lost on a short diversion to the right where some paper may have been moved. A villager signalled the way and the trail lead back in a ESE direction to another check. The trail was found further on to the right disappearing into undergrowth at the edge of a banana plantation before opening out to the left along an open path to the next check.
The trail actually went slight right but faint distant calls to the SE. lead me to head ESE passing a cowshed to join the trail along a stone chip track. Paper was found but villagers directed me back through a farmstead but there was no paper. So back where the trail was found veering south through undergrowth veering right along a pleasant path and then left along a track to a check. A small girl aged about 8 explained using sign language that it was in fact a back check along the track back to the WNW.
The trail passed by some small houses and geese veering slight right onto a path leading back to the klong path. where they may have been another check. Some kids directed me left and an on in sign was encountered. The trail then turned left back down the on out trail where I retraced my steps past the mechanics workshops. However, the Hare’s Strava route showed a detour to the south along the lane before. looping back to the runsite. All in all a very good run and well laid trail. The pack was a bit spread out towards the end and from about half way the checks were not broken.
The On On
The On On was well organised with the gentlemen situated on a long rectangular table while the ladies gathered around a circular table away from the men. Although there were 60% men present, the ladies were responsible the most of the audible excitement during the meal. We can only surmise the reason for this. The food was excellent with a good choice of dishes including steamed rice, larb moo, a whole fried fish with a citrus sauce, belly pork in sauce, green chicken curry, pork fried with green beans and stir fried chicken with chilli and cashew nuts which was the most popular dish. A very enjoyable run, circle and on on. Thank you hares
Run 2022 Wednesday 24 February 2021
Venue: Kanchanapisek Soi 25, Krang Na
This week’s run was from a venue known to Hashers as the Homestay. A few years ago it was a popular venue given it’s easy access from town and the abundance of verdant rice fields. It fell out of favour when work started on widening Kanchanapisek Road which resulted in the underpass we used to get to the venue being closed or extremely muddy.
In the intervening years the restaurant hasn’t changed much, but the surroundings have. Though the restaurant is actually called ‘Krang Na’ meaning in the middle of rice fields, a more appropriate name now would be ‘Krang Moobaan’ as moobans are springing up all around it. The situation isn’t helped by the fact that the nearby old Hash landmark of the ‘unfinished bridge’ is now finished and carries a steady flow of traffic. Though we went several years without a run from the Homestay the BMH3 run ten days earlier had been from the same place. The prolonged Covid lockdown has meant hares have had to look for out of the way locations, and the Homestay fits the bill well being out of the way and having a friendly management.
The hare this week was Crash Daily assisted by Nibbles, both of whom have clocked up more than 1,000 Harriettes runs and have been hares countless times. Having such star hares there was a good turnout, and with light traffic people arrived quite early. To pass the time before the off Codpiece drew a hopscotch pattern on the floor and racked his addled brain to remember how to play it. Any attempt he made was put to shame by cohare Nibbles who nimbly danced across the squares twisting and turning like a 10 year old. As Boobalube hadn’t allowed Tom Yum Gung to run from Asok she was full of energy and did a bit of high-knee running on the spot to burn it off.
After what seemed like a long wait acting GM Codpiece called the pack to order and the hares told the pack about the trail. Your scribe can’t remember much about the briefing but he had earlier been told on the quiet that it was about 6km long – a perfect distance for a Harriettes run. Instead of going through to the klong path the pack set off down the road at a slow pace. Your scribe thought that the trail being only 6km there was no need to rush.
As we went down the road a car driven by Pussy Virus hurtled down the road throwing up a great cloud of dust. It wasn’t long before we reached an area where they were clearing the ground before constructing deluxe executive housing, and by the time your scribe reached it the workmen were shouting at a lone farang who was making his own way across the area. Closer inspection showed the said farang was Boobalube. There was a check, and it was soon broken with the trail going in the opposite direction to that being followed by the lone farang.
We then followed what used to be the unfinished bridge road but is now the busy finished bridge road before veering off onto some quieter klong paths. These paths used to carry quite a lot of rush hour motorcycles, but they are now in such bad condition that Hashers are the only people who dare to use them. It wasn’t long before we reached a check at Chonnabot 3 Road, and your scribe along with 4×2 and Snakebite made the mistake of going left and picking up the Monday trail from ten days ago.
We reached the Monday ‘On In’ just as the light was fading, and by the time we got back to the wagons 4×2’s device was reading 8.2km. However, it had been a pleasant walk through some of the few remaining rice fields. A few minutes later a sweating Boobalube arrived back claiming 11.33km – a full 88% further than the 6km of the actual trail.
After a short period of social drinking acting GM Codpiece called a circle, and the usual down downs were administered. Dambuster was the only returner, and when asked where he had been his reply of ‘On the other side’ prompted questions about the afterlife.
Acting RA Senator then came in to strut his stuff, calling all those under 60 in to the circle as they will be eligible to have the Chinese vaccine. Then Hema and Dambuster got called in for having new haircuts. Bollywood won Tits of the Week for finding the On In trail on the way out and calling ‘on on’, and she was so impressed with the beautiful bra that she announced that she would go for an enlargement procedure so in future it would fit properly.
Just as we thought proceedings were coming to an end there was a hush and a cake with candles burning was brought into the circle. It was Eat Me’s birthday, and though the cake wasn’t big enough to accommodate all the candles to reflect her age – 21 – the four that there were burned brightly. Happy Birthday Eat Me!
The circle was then dismissed and the pack adjourned to inappropriately named Krang Na restaurant.
Run 2021 Wednesday 17 February 2021
Venue: Srinakarin Soi 41
Despite the foreboding run location in the concrete jungle by Srinakarin Soi 41, a good crowd turned out for Sizzler’s Bangkok Harriettes run on February 17. Maybe word got out that Sizzler was assisted by veteran hare Codpiece?
The Grand Mistress set the pack loose, and soon we followed the trail under Srinakarin Road on a concrete pathway that continued in westerly direction for what seemed a looong time. Then we got two false trails and a check in quick succession, and the pack was reunited before running back in the direction of Srinakarin Road. After a stretch along a canal, we crossed Srinakarin Road — this time on an overpass. This is when the run picked up with smaller roads, some green patches, and some canal walkways. The front runners Bollywood, Eatan and Pussy Virus returned back to origin in about fifty minutes. Everyone agreed it was a good trail in a challenging area.
The Grand Mistress took care of Circle formalities and handed the reins to Religious Advisor Codpiece. Codpiece in turn disqualified himself as a co-hare from commenting on the run, and asked for contributions from the Circle. Pussy Virus complained that Snakebite had warned all the other runners about the wet cement at the start of the run, but not him, as evidenced by the size 47 footprints in the newly laid cement. Snakebite reverted with his own down-down to Pussy Virus for ignoring instructions heeded by everyone else. Patpom and Boob-A-Lube were brought into the Circle for heinous and un-Hashmanlike crime of cutting off a clearly labeled loop at the end of the run. Religious Advisor Codpiece awarded down-downs to Captain Eric, Whippet Cream and Pussy Virus for doing wildly different runs of 3 km, 6 km and 9 km…no awards for guessing who did what!
When it was time for the prestigious Tits of the Week award, the candidates were City Girl (only two weeks left before Shaggy is released from quarantine), Khlong Dump (dumped the hare Sizzler on short notice as a co-hare), Pussy Virus (something related to wet cement), and Som (birthday). Obviously, a birthday trumps all other charges, and Som won Tits of the Week! Before she did her big beer down-down, assembled Harriettes brought out a birthday cake and sang the conventional “Hashy birthday, fuck you” song.
Your scribe was unable to join the on-on-on dinner.
Big thanks to the hare for a fun evening.
Run 2020 Wednesday 10 February 2021
Venue: Nonthaburi, Ricco Farm
14 hashers joined the excellent run set by the famous Hare, Tickler at Ricco Farm near the new Jesdabordin bridge.
The pack split in three groups:-
Group A: Pussy Virus, Off Limit and Codpiece
Group B: Bullit and Boob-a-loob
Group C: Hema, Kungpao, Senator, Whippet Cream, Yaya, Maverick, Auntie Bitch and Captain.
Everyone started at the same time but split into three groups after the first check. The trails were nicely and cleverly laid by the Hare covering soft soil, orchards, small roads and klong path for total distance of about 5 K. Everyone came in just before dark and admired the Hare for setting a very good run, even without a co-hare.
The circle was superb and discreet at the back of the parking lot. Codpiece ran the circle as the acting GM and the Senator performed the RA. Tits of the week went to the Hare for doing something right. The circle was fun and enjoyed by all even though mosquitoes attacked from all directions.
9 people moved to a private room of the restaurant and had an excellent On-On with great foods served by a good looking Burmese waitress from Samutsakorn. And the Hare kindly paid for the On-On-On as usual.
Run 2019 Wednesday 3 February 2021
Venue: Pattanakan Soi 25
Hare: Martyn ‘Lurch’ S
The Harriettes return. After a break of four weeks, we are back. After having our temperature checked we were off, down Kamphaeng Phet 7 road, on a bicycle friendly (but not so runner friendly) road towards the klong.
We headed south on the klong, ended up on Pattanakarn Road, turned right (on another main road) and down Soi 20. Back onto the klong again and through a local klongside village. We ended up at a large mosque with a big check. Thankfully, front runners had broken all the checks to the trail was easy to follow.
Continuing along the klong, we ended up at another mosque on Pattanakarn Soi 38, across a tiny klong and back onto Pattanakarn Road, back up to Kamphaeng Phet 7 and on in. Back at the ‘non-alcoholic drink area’ Klong Dump was doing push-ups. “I didn’t run and needed some exercise” was his excuse.
The hares had provided some tasty charcuterie and cheese as snacks, which was most welcome. The GM showed up late and started cooking pizza. A few people started whining about the circle not starting. When we did start, Klong Dump got the tits – what a surprise. Then on to the restaurant where we feasted on a Hare sponsored dinner – Thanks Hare!!!
Run 2018 Wednesday 30 December 2020
Venue: Krungthep Kreeta Soi 8
Hare: Capt’ Erik
We met at the Kai Yang Sua Yai restaurant on Krungthep Kreeta. Many were wearing masks following the recent outbreaks of Covid. There was a lot of confusion as to if we should even be there or not, wear masks or not etc etc. Never mind all that. Let’s run.
As we went round the trail, masks came off. We followed a familiar trail which the hare said ‘you can make it as long as you like’. Up through the golf course, up the klong and onto the old Krungthep Kreeta Road. We came back down Soi 8 to the restaurant and most people were back within the hour.
Stand in GM for the day was 4×2. He opened asking if we should actually be there or not, if this run actually should be taking place. KC gave us his interpretation of the hour’s latest gossip on Thai Visa.com, Captain Erik said there was nothing in this morning’s Bangkok Post. We continued with the circle anyway with our perhaps semi-legal gathering in the middle of the road.
RA Codpiece gave charges to those with fancy footwear. Klong Dump having done the trail in thongs. TOTW was Som. A jovial OnOnOn at one of our favourite restaurants finished off the evening. OnOn.
Run 2017 Wednesday 23 December 2020
Venue: The Port
Well in time the Hare led the pack to famous pier and send the pack of into the wilderness of Prapadaeng………… ‘PV’, ‘Etan’, ‘Off Limits’, ‘Checklee’ sprinted of very fast. After only 200m a sudden turn! What? (Normally we go straight to find the 1st Check at the junction). Had the hare found a virgin trail? Approaching a wooden house fierce dogs complained to the front runners, however, they were determined to follow paper……….Finally the unknown was solved: FT……..
In the meantime, the pack turned left at the ‘too familiar’ road crossing as the paper directed towards the Park. After some section on elevated concrete path the marking was leading to soft surface very much to the delight of many overstressed ankle joints. Only KC (who had earlier informed about his broken 2nd lowest vertebra damaged on a H3 run only a few days ago) decided to take the parallel, more smooth concrete path. It was reported that ‘Hema’ also preferred the elevated route.
The trail was winding through some jungle where next the Check required some search operation by the front runners. PV solve it, springing into the evening sun and soon afterward was never seen or heard of again…………. ‘Tom Yang Gung’, ‘Off Limits’, ‘Checkless’, ‘Pat Pom’ and ‘Bushman’ as a leading ‘Mini-Pack’ stayed together solving the upcoming obstacles which also included jumping waterways, climbing back to the elevated paths, etc. Some confusion came up when suddenly ‘Capt’n Eric’ appeared on a side path going in the opposite direction. Did we have to worry him getting lost? No way! There are not many who know this area better than the ‘Capt’n. As an experienced seaman he will find the way back to the boat!! But where were ‘Hema’, ‘Rowhide’, ‘Snake Bite’, ‘Ambrose’, ‘NoNo’, etc.? Who cared! They will sort it out……….
Although we have run the Prapadaeng mangroves many times it again was fun. This was especially enhanced by the cool temperature. A privilege many Hashers do not experience so often.
Ending up at the familiar peer the pack was ferried back to the east side of the Chaoparya River. Here ‘Normal’ was already in full swing preparing snacks while ‘Crash’ supported the ‘Nibbles’ preparing dinner.
The GM ran the circle in style, welcoming back the returners like ‘Maverick’ (directly from his 15 days Quarantine release), ‘Slime’ & wife (normally running in Hua Hin), ‘Checkless’ and ‘Bushman’.
‘Tits of the Week’ was presented to the beautiful Hua Hin Harriette.
The GM introduced the Manager of the Sanitary Section (who had hosted all the Bangkok H3 for more than 30 years) into the Circle where all thanked him for the ongoing hospitality Following Xmas tradition the ‘The Tickler’ handed over bottle of his favorite North American beverage. Well done Tickler!!!
Upon completion of the Circle the Hare invited the Pack for a very delicious homemade dinner.
Another fun event, well worth the Xmas occasion!!
A big thank you goes to the Hare ‘Nibbles’ and her team incl. GM ‘Normal’, ‘Crash’ and ‘Sizzler’!!
Run 2016 Wednesday 16 December 2020
Venue: Pattanakarn Soi 53
Hare: Klong Dump and Hot Chili
Harriettes run, Khlong Dump and Hot Chili, so why is she called Gum Lide??? Anyway a familiar area but where would we go. Jumpstart Eat Me, and Sizzler went to the market. A few followed the trail, forward first check to the usual Khlong path. Second check not down the Khlong, not over the usual bridge but a back check. Really slowed down everyone.
After some zigs and zags we finally reached the overpass over the highway. Makinee short cut here. Eatan leading, Gung Pom following. Sauntering in the back were Senator, Snowy, Knockout Neptune and the non shopping girls. Across the highway it all turned to crap.
Housing Estate guard says I let an old American through then his Filipino caretaker, the rest of you Piss off. Down the highway we finally reached the Khlong path back to makkasan and eventually home. Knockout Neptune led some back to the original highway cross over and in that way. A few enjoyed the trail through the park in the middle of the highway!
Whippet Cream was last seen crying under a highway asking why didn’t Eatan break the checks. Eatan missed most of the trail so went out again to atone. Tickler did most of it but gave up at the moo bahn impasse. In the end they all found their way home; Boob and Eatan claiming they did it all; Snowy chastising the hare for his markings! A circle was held hares rewarded, Normal performed, Senator RA’d, announcements were made and then the hares subsidized an incredible dinner thank you! Another great harriettes run!
Run 2015 Wednesday 9 December 2020
Venue: Srinakarin Soi 41
Hare: Short Change
I have never run on a “Short Change” trail but I have run in this area several times before, so I had mixed expectations about the trail. One thing good was the excellent elevated parking space that only high clearance vehicles can get on to so no problems finding a spot.
We promptly started at 5:15 pm after a brief from the hare and a warning that the trail might be too short for some over achievers. Thereafter, she suggested to said over achievers to do the run twice. And then we were off to Srinagarindra road onto our first check, telling myself I’ve got this…it’s over the pedestrian bridge, loop along the khlong, then back. I was pleasantly surprised when On On was called on the side of Srinagarindra that I have not been on. We were back on a long straight road with no shiggy in sight. Made it to the end of the road, turned right then another right and we were in a reciprocal course along same concrete main roads. I had to check my watch to make sure I was indeed on a Wednesday Harriettes run and not the Thursday city run.
Came upon a check, and my faith in Short Change was promptly restored as she managed to find a very interesting bridge across a khlong. After diligently breaking the check and shooing a pack of dogs on the rickety wooden bridge, I was finally on hasher heaven with a nasty smelly khlong on one side and trees on the other. I was enjoying the trail oblivious to the paper that has abruptly stopped. I’ve been duped, it was a false trail and after spending a good 5 minutes and about 200 m looking for the proper trail, I was back on track.
Concrete road tracks again until we suddenly turned in what looks like a banana plantation of some sort then through some interesting wooden walkway. Good work Short Change for finding such interesting trails. After 6 kms we were at the On In. I was tempted to go for one more round but the call of the cold beers was too overpowering.
Run 2014 Wednesday 2 December 2020
Venue: Pattanakan Soi 25, Krua Rim Mong
Hare: Eat Me
Some people commented before the run that the hare had laid a trail from the same place several times before and the trail was easy to predict. This was not the case.
The trail lead down to the nearby klong turning right – straight into a check. Back along the klong we ran, found the real paper, crossed Pattanakarn Road to be lead off to the left down an alley – another check. Chalk marks were found on Pattanakarn Road that lead down Soi 20 and back onto a side klong through a village community meeting the original main klong. Clever shortcutters had already made their way down the klong anticipating paper ahead. A sharp left over a small bridge and down a path lead us to a school, and another check.
The check was solved and we found our way down what felt like a country path, back to the main klong again, ending up at a mosque … and another check. This one had about seven different options. Paper was found nearby and off we went again, ending up at another check on Pattanakarn 20 (again). Paper was not to be found ahead so after a while, when returning, we saw an arrow across a bridge. That lead to yet another check. A very crafty double back check that kept us very confused.
Once that was eventually solved, we headed back past on another klong, past another school eventually heading back to Pattanakarn Road. The trail was probably about 6km, but several people had about 8km with all the checking. Crafty hare.
Barbie was TOTW with a great OnOnOn at the ever popular Krua Rim Mon restaurant.
Run 2012 Wednesday 18 November 2020
Venue: Onnut Soi 37
Hare: Pat Pom
A strong contingent of 12 ladies arrived at the Harriettes Run to support hare Pat Pom and visiting hare Hot Lips. We were told to look forward to a medium length trail of about 7km not including the checks. Soon we were off, the trail well marked, Eaton and Codpiece racing to the lead alone with a visiting hasher Codpiece brought. GI Joe (visiting from Pattaya with his wife Squeeze My Tube) jogged a little slower alongside Boob a Lube and Selfie Queen. The ladies who were on trail – Whippet Cream, Angel, Eat Me, Tom Yum Gung, and Whip Me Houston followed discretely at a leisurely pace along with 4 x 2. Sizzler, Nibbles, and for a while even Crash brought up the rear! The checks were fairly quickly solved as we did a loop around the block and then headed to the big khlong, over the bridge and off to the right along the khlong.
There was soon a turn down a road along a small khlong and then into a khlong along some nice greenery. After a bit it was back to and across the big khlong, back down the khlong a bit and then up to Onut and on in! Run turned out to be 5½ km for those that did it. Lurch was seen skulking about on the trail on his bike by a number of hashers. Tickler was out there in a day glow outfit but we still didn’t see him too much on trail. Boob a Lube got lost as usual at about the 3km mark, reappeared to link up with lurch at the 4½ km mark then disappeared again coming in a little late thanking the hare for a 10km trail.
GM stand in Sizzler did the Gm honors and thanked the hares. Visitors Hot Lips, GI Joe, Squeeze My Tube, and Codpiece’s friend were all introduced. Hot Lips was asked, given her numerous appearances with the harriettes, why her wealthy husband had not included harriettes membership in her monthly allowance. A couple of significant returners were Selfie Queen and Whip Me Houston. The Ra dealt out some appropriate punishment and then Angel (Ya Ya – yes she says that is her hash name) brought out a birthday cake that Tom Yum Gung and GI Joe shared. This little episode almost resulted in some injuries with the no blowoutable candles causing havoc! The circle finished with GI Joe getting Tits of the Week, why you ask, he was the ugliest male visitor!
We adjourned to a really nice on on dinner that was heavily subsidized by the hare. The even became a little raucous after about have the folks departed as a bottle of wine and a bottle of brandy were completely consumed mostly by Ya Ya, Gung, and Whippet Cream; Boob a Lube, Eaton, Dam Buster, and Lurch helped a bit. Later than normal in the evening the ladies were poured into various items of transport and taken home. Another fun harriettes evening. On On to next week
Run 2011 Wednesday 11 November 2020
Venue: Krungthep Kreeta Soi 8
Hare: The Senator
2011, the Senator’s run, it was going to be fun….
But on the night, did it turn out right?
Well read this ditty and you’ll find out, there will be no doubt
He gave a briefing, just before we were leaving
If you count the checks right, you’ll get a prize tonight.
Virgin trail he said, he was off his head!
So off we went under the stars, weaving through cars
On the senator’s caper, with plenty of paper
I checked out with Checkless who’s known to be feckless
so went the wrong, way too many times that day
Then came some writing I read, “Half way now” it said
We were close to home, but if run back they’ll moan
I must run on and open my eyes, and count checks for the prize.
On we went into the night, yet again no flashlight
Up and down ridges, over steel bridges
Running full force, up by the golf course
That direction was a fail, we followed wrong trail
We soon found the right track, and were on our way back
Speeding up now we’ve nothing to lose, another 5 minutes we’ll be back at the booze.
Then came the circle with all of those clowns, laughing and joking and doing down downs
Now on to dinner always good here, nice food and wine and loads of beer
Lots of new dishes and staff taking care, also cheap – thanks to the hare
Then it was over time to say bye, when we are having fun time does fly
2011 the Senator’s run – Yes it was fun
Run 2010 Wednesday 4 November 2020
Venue: Sukhumvit Soi 50
A Jumpstart run, aided by Slippery when wet …. set with …. toilet paper …. expectations were low…. Surprisingly it turned out very nice. Early checks kept the pack together for a bit. Eatan leading, vying with Khlong Dump for male supremacy! Tom Yum Gung and Pat Pom marking trail so the slow ones could find their way. Sizzler and Crash did at least 200 meters; pointed out by Tickler! Down Soi 50, false trail, more Soi 50; a small dirt trail to where Love Canal used to live; over Sukhumvit through the market; past Rawhides condo in habitat.
Across Onut down a Khlong and on in! A nice 6.5 km or so trail. Even Snowy, on his last single hash event made it around. Tickler kindly swept the trail. GM New Normal honored the hares, and a few returners. RA Sizzler punished sinners; Snowy was abused by the harriettes for taking himself off the market! Slippery When Wet got Tits of the week then it was on on to a nice on on on! See you all next Wednesday.
Run 2009 Wednesday 28 October 2020
Venue: PraditManutham Rd, Frog Restaurant
PraditManutham Rd, Frog Restaurant. Sounds like a good a place as any for a Harriettes a-site. The hare loves it since we ran from there on a Monday night just 2 weeks ago. The pack was rather small having only 8 that braved the student protests to make the run. Promptly at 17:15hrs the hare “CockPriest” gave instructions on what to look for along the trail…..shreddie and chalk! How creative this guy is! Also a warning of lots of false trails! As the pack set off, Boob-a-loob took the lead with an amazing burst of energy, a true 70 year old on hash steroids. He was followed closely by Red Hot Lips who clearly had intentions of more than just winning a race! A mere 200 meters from the start the paper vanished but front runners who now included Hema were trodding down an unmarked khlong pathway as if they could smell the trail. Shortly, everyone had to reverse direction to be on the correct trail… another khlong path of course!
Crossing the khlong on a narrow metal bridge took the trail through a small hole in the concrete block wall. It was amusing to see Hema taking about 5 attempts of fitting through this orifice before successfully exiting on the other side. After about another 500 meters khlong trail the paper was picked up on a bike path along the main auto thoroughfare. A few overhead pedestrian bridges brought the trail onto the other side of a “rush-hour” traffic clogged road. Continuing in the opposite direction the trail pointed into a dilapidated, abandoned building.
After about a 10 minute search, it was decided that this was a false trail. Checking forward yielded squat, but going backwards found paper off to the right in about 300 meters but that did not last long as another check was encountered. I checked left but found nothing but upon return to check it as broken straight ahead. Following the trail along this concrete footpath became difficult because it was now dark. The trail marks soon disappeared again alongside this very large, green and wet area. Supposedly the trail went right through it but I missed it! Now scared and thirsty it was time to navigate back to the a-site. With the aid of google maps, I was able to do this in 20 minutes.
Upon arrival at the a-site, Normal had her snack table in full operation and the beer was flowing. The circle was soon called to order and charges of being lazy were leveled against Lurch and Sizzler for being lazy for only completing 500m of the entire trail. The Tickler given a down-down for being stupid as he did not heed the calls of “on-back” at the beginning of the run. Boob-a-loob was admonished for being an antisocial old crank by always sitting outside of the circle and constantly complaining. Nominees for Tits-of-the-Week were The Tickler and Hema. Hema won this quite easily for not having any cerebral cognizance to not get married at age 79!
Announcements were made and the circle was called to a close and the pack adjourned to on-after “Frog” Restaurant where a wide variety of dishes awaited us. In addition to the standard Heinecken and Leo beer, Nibbles provided a bottle of Regency Brandy and Captain Erik and Sizzler added red wine. In less than an hour, all food was devoured and every drop of wine, beer and Brandy was entirely consumed. Good job hare Codpiece for picking up this run and delivering an interesting trail!
Run 2008 Wednesday 21 October 2020
Venue: Rama 3 Road, Baan Itmorn
Hares: Weedeater and No Meat
Patpom was the assigned scribe, but she’s gone “Balik Kampung” (return to the village) the day after the run, so I am the emergency replacement scribe.
Last time I did a scribe report, it was for the same hare at the same run location. But it was for a different On-Sec, so hopefully this report will make to publication as submitted, without adulteration. The Hash Scribe is always right!
The hares No Meat and Weed Eater had laid such a great run (and On-On) the previous time, that it had been unanimously agreed that we needed a repeat run, so that those that missed the earlier run would have an opportunity also. But we mostly got the same hashers as last time, plus a few extras in Moonlight, Cod Piece, Snowy and Scum (visitor).
The run was planned as a “bus run”, which meant that the first several km’s was by BRT bus. As the start time approached, No Meat headed off the BRT station the buy the tickets … at which point Boob-a-lube announced that he was going to skip the bus ride and run to A-point and departed also.
Snakebite decided he was going to walk to bus terminal also so left early, assuming the runners would soon catch up. At which point every else decided to leave also, all walking to the bus terminal, with Weed Eater yelling some last minute instructions in the rear. Snowy was left behind still putting on his shoes, and Thalidoskid whose planning on a Just-In-Time arrival was thwarted by our early departure, was encountered when we were half-way to the bus station.
Of course, a bus has just departed by the time we arrived at the bus station, but a following one soon arrived. But we only had to go one bus-stop, so Boob-a-Lube was already on trail when we got there. A hint to hares… next time you do a bus-run, make it at least 2 stops, so we can get to the start before Boob-a-lube.!
The trail was a vaguely reverse version of the earlier run, but it was still new territory for most hashers, since the pack had got lost last we did this trail, and they never saw the most of it.
A memorable false trail at one the earlier temples, was made even more memorable by the front runners putting chalk arrows in the wrong direction, to further confuse everyone. But once that was sorted out, the remainder of the trail mostly went like clockwork.
Snowy and Snakebite were able to keep up to pack by doing some strategic short-cutting, while The Tickler elected to do the complete trail, and came in a bit later
The Hash-Crash of the night went to Scum, who tripped over while racing to finish and about 50 metres before the beer truck.
The GM duties were skill-fully attended to by the Hash Flash (Patpom), followed up by Codpiece doing his RA duties. And same-as before, another great on-on meal at the river-side restaurant.
In conclusion, another well-laid and interesting trail by the No Meat and Weed Eater.
Run 2007 Wednesday 14 October 2020
Venue: Taling Chan, Yok Krok
Hares: Bullit and Love Canal
The run started in a familiar place across the river along Ratchapruek Road. When I got in to the runsite the hare Bullit and his cohare Love Canal were sitting with wide grins on their faces and sporting well muddied shoes and socks. They promised it would be an interesting, nonlinear run.
We were starting 15 minutes earlier than the usual 5:30 pm start, apparently due to the sun setting earlier than usual. It was supposed to give the navigationally impaired, a bit more time see street signs and ask the locals for directions. I’d argue that if you’re lost along the way in the dark, 15 minutes doesn’t really matter that much.
After the usual useless instructions, we were pounding the pavement along the busy motorway and found ourselves at a check under a bridge. We all fanned out in different directions looking to break the check. It was not a difficult check and we were thankfully away from the motorway and into a nice neighborhood, then along khlong paths until it all opened to a beautiful temple complex that was still under construction. Another check and all the runners were back together in time for our first shiggy. Paper led through ankle deep water for about 50m and then disappeared in what looks like a dumpsite. Desperately looking for paper in a dumpsite is as difficult or as impossible as you would imagine. We quickly realized that the sneaky hares laid a false trail just to get our shoes wet and primed for what was to come.
Getting back on paper, we were on paved roads again for next hundred meters or so until we were back on soft, cushiony, slippery mud. The trail was getting more and more interesting as it was leading us to softer and softer terrain until it abruptly ended. The dynamic duo has led us to another dead end, we all had to do an about face and come out of the dense jungle single file. Retracing our steps, we came across Boob A Lube going the wrong way, while yelling On On towards the other direction. Given his stellar reputation for being on paper all time, we reluctantly followed his directions, and true enough it led to paper once again.
The trail led again to what looks like more soft mud and dense jungle. The entrance being suspiciously very well marked with copious amount of paper we decided we were not going to get suckered again into another false trail. Everyone started looking for alternative routes. After wasting precious minutes, we realized that we were fooled once again, for what looked like dense jungle is actually a nicely paved khlong path.
At about the 7 km mark, I finally came across the ON IN sign. I started to relax, and my anticipation heightened for what was ahead – cold LEOs. But I felt something was wrong here, how come I cannot smell the beers? The tricky hares had us fooled for one last time as the ON IN was still about a kilometer away from the beer truck, that was why my beer radar was not detecting anything.
Overall, it was an excellent trail with a good amount of shiggy and chicanery. Good job HARES!
Run 2006 Wednesday 7 October 2020
Venue: Ramindra, Chatu Chot 10
So the hares appoint the scribe! At least on the harriettes the onsec doesn’t edit the write up. [Onsec’s note: I can edit what I like!] So starting at the beginning I had to wash my socks 32 times in clorox before I could put them in with the rest of the wash. Oh yeah the run. With Checkless reputation I wondered would the restaurant let us in, is there a parking fee, will it be another concrete run? Surprised none of that happened, however Checkless is a pathological liar. 6 1/2 km a little short, some water he says ….. more like 8 1/2 km more than half ankle to knee deep in water!!! Ergo my sock introduction!
We did a non normal, (not allowed to use the term Abnormal on the Harriettes), left hand loop. Eaton and Codpiece mostly leading, Boob struggling to keep up, Pom and Whippet Cream strolling along talking about white dresses (more on that later), Armondo or whatever his name is walking with City Girl. Snowy, Tickler and Capt Erik did their own thing, rumor is Capt Eric came back in a BMW! Anyway after a long loop we ended up behind BOOB going around the lake and as he stepped into a nipple deep hole so we knew where not to walk. Eventually we all finished within 10 minutes of each other. Checkless did not live up to his name, between water and masterful checks the pack stayed together the entire run. Snakebite walking was in front as much as anyone!
There was a circle, harriettes leadership typically absent, no GM no RAs no Onsec! Pat Pom was masterful as stand in GM. Codpiece RA’d. Eaton got tits of the week for duck abuse, stepped on one duckling then kicked another out of his way! Oh yes, then white dresses came up. Why are harriettes buying white dresses for an event involving Snowy? Malinee has not been informed, she’s pissed. Snowy says what event yet he is taking someone to a concert Saturday. Eaton brought this up in the circle; the information source appears to be Pat Pom. What does it all mean. Anyway, in sum a superb run and great circle. Dinner even better, great restaurant superb staff. On on till next Wednesday!
Run 2002 Wednesday 9 September 2020
Venue: Nakon In, Cowboy Restaurant
Hare: Greg ‘Tickler’ C
There were a few Harriettes gathered as I turned up on a Grab Motocy. All lounged around in tights. Does this mean anything? ‘Cowboy Restaurant’ is apparently well described in hash history and although the place had been half destroyed by a wrecking ball, the restaurant, the host and his wife remained intact and amazingly still open for the Harriettes.
I personally had a great run despite the afternoon rain making it unusually humid but also muddy. With Greg ‘Tickler’ as a co-hare I was told that the hashers expected a lot more bush, but instead we were greeted with wet cement and mud. In fact, when losing my shoe in the mud, I also lost the leading pack. I called for them but they were long gone and I was left to dig my shoe out of the mud. These were brand new shoes but no one had picked up on this up and according to my Dad I was lucky to get away without drinking from them at the end of the run. I continued on with Eetan and Bullit through some jungle and along khlongs. Those “frb’s’ at the front didn’t even mark the way at the check points leaving us even more lost and confused. Talking of the humidity, Puss Virus apparently arrived back before everyone else drenched as if he had been in a shower.
I was told that ‘No no’ knows this area well when he has his GPS watch working, but due to illness, he had to call in the help of ‘Tickler’, a hare well known and respected according to my old man. I have never run a hash outside Thailand and I loved the circle, so much fun with Ian ‘Codpiece’ the RA. I left after the entertaining circle but I was told by my ‘close relative’ that the food was a good as ever they produce in ‘Cowboy’ and the ‘on on’ was par excellence. I was born in Bangkok, live in Colorado but I just love being here. ON ON
Run 2001 Wednesday 2 September 2020
Hare: Tom ‘Pussy Virus’ E
I remember Pussy Virus being a ‘Live’ Hare and saying, “if you catch me, we’ll have a beer stop”. We would run like the very devil to catch him and be lucky if we had just the one beer!
Weedeater and I strolled down the road towards the A-site and the start of the run. We spotted Hell’s Angel looking a little confused and pointing down a small soi to where we should be meeting. “I can’t find it either”, she said. We spotted the chalk arrows on the road to guide us to the new and improved A-site, right next the ferry pier.
Normal and Nibbles had already staked their claim on the choicest places to put their tables, chairs, sofas and chaise langue. After all, if you intend to sit, drink and gossip about everybody, you might as well make yourselves comfortable!
Pussy Virus makes his entrance, completely soaked. Murmurs around the assembled Hashers suggest that his Live Hare intention is all bullshit and that he has really secretly already laid the trail in advance. Pussy Virus is of course a Master Grade Bullshitter as everyone would agree. However, not even he would stoop so low as to cheat over Live Haring..!
A fair sized gathering gathered in the limited Gathering area (limited because of all the chairs, tables and sinks bought by the Senior Harriettes). Some notable Returners, No Good Boyo feeling brave enough to expose his daughter to such a group of Miscreants.
Indeed Pussy Virus Live Hared. He took the pack across the river and made a great trail northwards towards the next bridge up river. We soon found Pussy Virus gasping for breath by the entrance of a 7-11 where he had to buy the first lot of beer. Naturally Weedeater was the first runner beating ALL the other Hashers by a big margin. The Hare stipulated that we couldn’t resume the chase until all the beer was consumed. Some of the Hashers clearly didn’t drink their ration, Drunkin Doughnut complaining that it should be wine…maybe with a few grapes and a ripe cheese..! After Weedeater finished the last of the beer (bless him) we took off in hot pursuit after the Hare. We wiggled left, we shimmied right, we run down small children and pounded pussies wherever we could find them. PV was clever than many expected. He laid a damnable check in a ‘pay-as-you-go’ fitness park knowing that none of us had any money.
Eventually we found the new trail, crossed the bridge and weaved in and out of the Flower Market. Time for another beer stop as Weedeater ran down the Hare again! By this time PV was looking, well .. on the pink side of off-white. Boob-A-Lube was up there at the beer stop.. then past it without take any beer, then back again, and again and again. Why he disappeared and reappeared so many times nobody is quite sure. Best guess is that he was caught in some strange time shift. Pussy Virus left us with even more beer to drink than the last time.
The beer was started to take its toll now and even Weedeater who normally prances and bounds like a Gazelle on steroids, was forced to slow the pace a little. Off-Limits, Moonlight and Etan were there in the group and Drunkin Doughnut, drawn along magnetically by his nipple rings, thundered through the dark alleyways of Chinatown. By now Pussy Virus was almost on his knees and forced to make another beer stop. Clearly age and gross debauchery have caught up with this great athlete as once, we would have just the one beer stop as we attempted to hunt him down and now there needs to be many more such stops.
Joking aside, a great run! Thank you Pussy Virus.
And so to the Circle..
All the usual stuff went on. No Meat was the extremely good RA bringing punishment and enlightenment to All. IboIbo should have been awarded for selflessly consuming the most beer. Hell’s Angel was punished for NOT wearing appropriate Hash gear in the Circle
Note: This write up was high jacked by Weedeater. To set the record straight; Henry and his Cameron were out in front with No Meat making a valiant effort to keep up with the youngsters.
Run 2000 Saturday 29 August 2020
Venue: Pak Nam Pran
Hares: Virginia Slim and Nibbles
Total 81 Hasher – 42 Harriettes, 39 Harriers
After paying the Baht 800 fee, The 80+ contingent donned their ID wrist bands left over from some previous hash function and assembled outside the Pattawia Resort on the Pranburi shoreline dividing into groups of walkers, short runners and long runners. The walkers and short runners head off first in Songthaews which returned in 20 mins to pick up the long runners. Turned out that the short and long run was the same route with an extra 2 km at the start and a 20 minute delay for the long runners.
This meant that in places, the run was conveniently marked by a well trampled trail. As we passed through pleasant countryside dotted with coconut palms and pineapple plantations, we noticed a few picturesque steep conical hills in the distance one of which was sure to have our name on it. Well the last thing I wanted to do was climb one of those hills and sure enough it was very nearly the last thing I did.
It was a hot day and a steep climb hindered by scree and prickly thorn bushes only to be greeted at the top with the words “Suckers” scrawled on an outcrop of glistening metaquartzite. Bastards! The way down was a pleasant meandering trail through scrub and bush through small cattle holdings towards a marsh and the inevitable requisite shiggy. This delayed the by now strung out pack, effectively breaking it into two since the front runners had disappeared by the time we got to an intersection. The rest of the run was mostly well marked, with a stretch of road, some confusion and a final on in across gravelly alluvium to the beach.
A tropical beach-themed T-shirt was handed out featuring a bikini-clad Minnie Mouse lounging under a coconut palm framed by “Bangkok Hash House Harriettes” (strangely no mention of BH3) with the names of the hare (Virginia Slim) and various sponsors on the back.
Ladyboy, recently released from detention, lead the circle calling in the hare and co-hares at least 3 or 4 times for various misdemeanours. There were no jokes though I did win an innuendo tournament last week. Well I had to beat a lot of stiff competition. Various representative hashers from other chapters were subsequently called in including a couple up from Phuket. Then a group of hashers from a Chiang Mai matriarchal tribe that allows men to join subject to a fearsome ritual whereby they are converted into women. Proof of the drastic (and irreversible) treatment was found when one of the ex Hua Hin Hash GMs had to show his fledgling boobs. Dear me. We already have one ladyboy on the hash.
It was at this point that I at last managed to locate the Voice Recorder on my mobile. The remaining is a transcript of some of the more interesting and noteworthy scandals that came to light during the last 20 minutes of the circle.
Hasher : “…Definitely guilty…”
Hasher : “…But there is no proof though…”
LB: “I was running along at my normal speed, not very fast OK so I could recall some conversations that were going on and what do I see suddenly… Ibo-Ibo was stumbling. Number one, some barbed wire. OK, we cannot all be so gifted, and not too much further he fell a second time and that’s when he confessed to something that happened in his bedroom. Apparently he cannot get it up anymore. Maybe you were talking about your feet but I was completely…well… So I just want to ask for proof. Whether it is true or not….. (Inaudible excuses). OK here’s to the happy couple…”
LB : “Talking about stumbling, I think we cannot do this without giving an honourable mention to our dear friend covered in mud from top to bottom… We were running along and suddenly we come to the first short runners, and I was surprised how slippery it was. He was covered in mud. Do you have anything to say about that? What happened?”
Hasher : “Well the only thing was…”
Circle : (anticipating a long ramble): “OK, thank you thank you”.
LB : “Here’s to the muddy one…”
LB : “Can we have the hares and co-hares in the circle. Have you been keeping any messages from Virginia about disagreeing with the GM as to whether this run was going to be too long or too short? What should we do with the…? Ok so now we suddenly have two co-hares. I wonder. Why was there a need for two co-hares? Something happened this morning? Couldn’t set a trail? Just wondering whether there was…?”
Hare : “This lady over here had the answer… something happened last night.”
Hasher : “We will re-enact it again tomorrow”
Hasher : “Was it ladyboys? Women?”
Co-Hare: “Incredibly enough he remembered this morning that he had recruited me for co-haring. He didn’t remember that he had recruited him for co-haring. So he ended up with two co-hares.”
Hare : “And expert co-hares I may add.”
LB : “To the hares and the co-hares…”
No Meat : “They’re all right, They’re all right, they can’t get it up but they’re all right.”
Pussy virus : ” We may be a joy to our mothers…”
(A Thai lady sternly warns the circle to be quiet and then it is noticed with some consternation that some hashers are not wearing the hash T-shirt)…
Hasher : “You can stand in for 4 by 2….”
Hasher : “…Anything for another beer”
LB : “Do any of you have a really good excuse for not wearing the hash shirt?”
Hasher : “….Yeah look at it!”
Hasher : “….I’m saving it to sleep in tonight”
Hasher : “….Do me a favour”
Hasher : “….I’d love to see the curtains in your house.”
LB : “Can I have the hares and co-hares in the circle. I know this because when he dropped us off, he was limping.”
Co-hare : “He has always been limping.”
LB : “Can you explain yourself hare? What did you do?”
Hare : “As a purely mutual observer to this. This man had a huge rusty machete…”
Hasher: “A huge what?”
Hare : “A huge rusty machete.”
Hasher: “He’s got a rusty chopper.”
Hare : “I said please be careful chopping. And his first swing went into his leg.”
Co-Hare : “It’s true it did.”
Other co-hare : “His wife paid me to kill him”
Hasher : “She didn’t pay you enough obviously because he didn’t die”
Hasher : “So you will not be getting your rewards in paradise.”
Hasher : “There’s always trouble in paradise man.”
LB : “Can I have Checkless in the circle… I am sure there is a story. Why were you not at the start of the run?”
Checkless : “I ran the run. I went up that hill.”
LB : “That was the wrong hill. It was that hill.
Checkless : “Oh shit. It was that hill.”
LB : “Here’s to the stupid one…”
LB : “Can we have the hares and co-hares in the circle. “
Circle : “Where’s the ice? Ice. Ice”
LB : “I don’t think we need to do that because as a Belgian this is very close to my heart.”
Hasher : “Do we need to stand away from him.”
LB : “I need a volunteer to go and check Virginia Slim’s bedroom or hotel room. Because…”
Hasher : “Or the trunk of his car. Does he have a cellar?”
LB : “Are you going to volunteer? I don’t think he can acquire somehow. These three were apparently thirsty at some point.”
Co Hare : “We were thirsty”
LB : “And what happened was. Kids running around…”
Co-Hare : “This is what happened. Virginia slim very kindly decided to buy his co-hares a drink. What a lovely guy. But as he goes to the counter to buy his co hares a drink, he notices four little girls all around about 7 or 8. So he buys them some sweeties.”
Circle : “Oooohhhhh. Grooming. Grooming”
Hare : “I get along with women under 8 or over 80. It’s just the in-betweens that I have a problem with.”
Lady hasher : “Be careful, be careful”
Circle : “Paedophilia”
LB : “Can we have the 80 year old woman in here.”
Hare : “Now she’s in my age group”.
Duchy : “My countryman”
LB : “Do we have a qualifying woman under 8 here?”… A song for the Belgians and the Belgian look alike. Here’s to the paedophiles.”
There then followed down downs for Normal and the Hare followed by a thank you to the organisers, and announcements for the On On and Hangover Run. Then a special announcement…
Chiang Mai Bunny Hash GM. : “On behalf of the Bunny Hash from Chiang Mai, October 30 we are inviting all of you to come and join us. We have a special run for Cherry Picker run. Yes guarantee you will have fun. October 30. The cost will be 700 baht include the run, T-shirt, dinner, dancer (?). It is going to be fun. In this event… adventure, challenging, whatever, we will have fun. Check on the Chiang Mai hash website. And we have…” (Circle breaks into a song). “…Shut the fuck up. Listen. Name of the run. Cherry Picker. Hope to see you. On On”
It was then decided to have a group photo on the beach but due to our tanned complexions and the fading light it was too dark so we assembled in front of the street lamps.
The On On
After the circle we all returned to our looms to change and then proceeded up the beach to find the Pran Corner restaurant located about 700 m further up from the hotel. Several tables were arranged outdoors serenaded by a competent band playing Shadows covers and other nostalgia from the early 60s carefully chosen to please the average age of the attendance.
Food included some sort of chopped catfish fried to oblivion, buffalo wings, cabbage cooked in cabbage, some Tom Yam Gung I do believe, a green chicken curry, some stir-fried chicken, some other stuff plus no meat for no meat. Beer was included too but we remarked on the way back that we were strangely not pissed despite drinking copious quantities of Leo. So it was suspected therefore, that the beer may have been pre-iced as is the Thai custom. There then followed some energetic dancing to some up-tempo tunes before finally calling it a night.
The hangover run had been arranged for 10 am the next morning after breakfast. We left early so did not attend the run. It must have been gruelling as it was a very hot day.
All in all a great weekend.
Run 2000/1 Sunday 30 August 2020
Venue: Pak Nam Pran
Hares: Nobbles and Bullit
Starting time of hangover run kept changing every time it was announced, finally 10 decided but the crowd was held up another 30 minutes before the almost sober pack of 21 females and 18 males were allowed to f_ck-off. Hotter than normal, shiggier and longer than could have been expected for a hang-over run by Nibbles and Bullet. Some of the dehydrated hallucinating or just stupid, hashers, no names mentioned but Off-limited was one of them, didnt manage to open the Mo-baan door to pass through.
All managed however to get to the end at the mouth of the river where the piss was waiting, except City Girl who stopped for shopping.
Harriettes GM honored the sponsors of the weekend with Kangkenglae (wtf?), all in different colors which resulted in fighting between the generous ones. Ononon at the local seafood restaurant was claimed to be delicious, but not enough to be finished so the left-over soup ended up at the GM’s establishment, the microwave and new bowl made a miracle….
Run 1998 Wednesday 19 August 2020
Venue: Seri Thai Road
Hare: Kevin ‘Roger Me’ M
Hashing Through the Forbidden Housing Estate
This was a beautiful run through some nice countryside, with some interesting twists along the way.
The pleasant countenances and sly smiles belie the insidious nature of the hares (Roger Me & The Tickler). While setting the run, it became clear that the hares had harassed and inflamed the locals in the housing estates in preparation for the incoming horde of hashers.
With some warning from Roger Me about the upcoming housing estates, the pack of intrepid hashers was off. As a fairly new Bangkok hasher, I was amazed to once again find an oasis in this urban setting a beautiful park next to a beautiful lake, reminding me again of the hidden gems in Bangkok. There were many non-hash runners in the park clearing going in the correct direction as it was opposite from the hash direction. We then left the beautiful park to go into a commercial area & I’m thinking “well that’s the end of this beautiful hash.”
Shortly afterwards, we ventured into the first housing estate, and met the first unhappy guard and residents. It was my chance to hear some new Thai expressions. Were the housing residents saying to me “ run strong, dear visitor” or “ you better get your white ass out of our neighborhood.” Even with my very limited Thai, I’m quite sure it was the latter.
We circled through the estate, not finding an exit point, so back out the entrance, to much happier estate residents.
Then off to the second housing estate. Hare waiting outside waving hashers in, with the same sneaky smile. More unhappy guards and irate residents. No doubt primed by the diabolical haring duo. Heard some of same Thai expressions, and I was even more convinced that they were not exhorting me to “run strong, dear friend….”
Per hare directions (after all these hashing years, I still listen…), we ran to the left side of the estate expecting an easy exit. Of course, no easy exit appeared. The trail continued behind a row of houses along the wall, up and down concrete platforms, some muddy bits. Fortunately, the residents were become more friendly, or at least less displeased.
Followed a long stretch along this wall…. could we ever escape this forbidden housing estate before the dogs and/or police were called in?? At some point, KC (Boob-a-Lube) gave up on the hash path, & braved the main estate road, not to be seen for a long time. Wonder what he was doing…
At this point, I ended up running/stumbling alone on the path. OMG, would I ever leave this housing estate, or would my fate be to endlessly circle the forbidden housing estate? Oh, the insidious plot by dastardly hares…. Then, salvation in the form of several Harrietts. I would no longer be sentenced to run alone for eternity in this housing estate…. Then, finally, a way out over a ladder on the wall! But what would be on other side?? Alligator pit? Brothel? At this point, it didn’t really matter. Carefully crossed over the ladder (no parkour stunts this time…) to find a nice grassy, muddy patch leading to some shacks. And back to Thai smiles rather than Thai scowls. Once again, those with less seem to smile more…
Followed by some nice wandering around, along klongs, and nice fields. Eventually my little group reunited with KC and EeTan. Occasionally there were cries of “on on” from the distance but nary a crossed check…. Hence the name FRBs!!!
Eventually got back to main road to search for a long time for the trail.
Having given up on finding the true trail, many hashers including lead FRBs Ibo Ibo and Horney Viking decided to run 1.5k along the main road, enjoying smog and noise. May they enjoy their congested lungs…. Too bad, as the last stretch was very pleasant through fields and along klongs.
As sun was setting, those who finished ALL the trail joined the FRBs and other lazy short cutting bastards, where (mostly) all were smiling and happy. Etan was the clear winner of Tits Award, and happily displayed his curves to the “appreciative” circle.
Great run! Despite their nefarious attempts, the diabolical hare duo were unsuccessful in stranding any hashers in the forbidden housing estate or secretly smiling as they were hauled off to jail for trespassing.
And maybe I learned some Thai warnings….
Run 1996 Wednesday 5 August 2020
Venue: Chalerm Prakiat 28, Wat Bang Kaew
On this auspicious day in history the U.S. began bombing North Vietnam in 1964 and just last year widespread democracy protests in Hong Kong led to huge disruptions and 200 cancelled flights and chaos ensued. With dark rain clouds looming, and Ambrose as the hare, we wondered what today might bring. A relatively small group of about 15 avid hashers arrived at the run start or the general vicinity of the start as the pin drop Google directions were at the start of the long lane next to the rice paddy culminating at Wat Bang Kaew (rather than at the temple itself). Ibo Ibo, following in the footsteps of Boob-a-lube, arrives an hour early at the temple but apparently can’t read so he then wanders back-and-forth along the road looking for signs of other hashers and chalks a few kilometers before the run even started. There was a notable absence of many of the regulars including Captain Erik, Pat Pom, Snakebite, and even the trailmaster Tickler. Boob-a-lube was feeling giddy as he noted there were no other fast runners except for Etan and thought he might win this one. However, as we headed down the 500 meter stretch on out, runners Pussy Virus, Louis and Khlong Dump arrive to spoil KC’s wet dream.
The run took us down some familiar khlong paths, through a huge apartment block behind Ram #2, through a market, the university and after a few checks that didn’t stop anyone, we headed north out the side gate of the university. Roger Me found the next check and excitedly ran back south down a khlong path only to hit an FT. After all the front runners stupidly crossed the road and headed further north along the same khlong path, Roger Me also found the next check but was quickly passed by several hashers in a huge temple complex. Etan finds the next check and after heading out towards the freeway and slowly being passed by PV and Louis, he suddenly turns around and heads back towards the pack sending all hashers behind him to search in all directions in vain (later accusation that he did this intentionally to throw off Boob-a-lube, Ibo Ibo and others).
From there we ran along the freeway for what seemed like forever before taking a right and another 1 kilometer straight road section on the back side of the university. Eventually we got back to familiar terrain and on to the “on out” khlong path and then through a ramshackle worker community where a young boy with hot red lipstick and an earring distracted Khlong Dump (known for his forays into such forbidden pastures) momentarily before the urge to stay with the front runners endured. After retracing the first kilometer we were back at the start to finish the approximately 9km loop. As the rain held off and the checks were easy to find, the runners appreciated a nice tough work-out. Walkers slowly made their way to the finish, that is except for Yuree and Not-Ladyboy’s Yaa, who showed up in the dark just as the circle was starting. Snowy had enough sense on this one to go find his own route.
The “new” old GM, “new” Normal, brought Ambrose into the circle to receive all the accolades and high praise for a fine, well-marked run announced all the virgin runners and returners – a single American bloke originally from Phnom Penh but now having retired here (whose name escapes me) – which made her job quite easy. She then turned it over to the guru extraordinaire RA for life or something, the Senator. His first call of action was to berate all the Americans for letting their military into Thailand to spread Covid-19, while Ibo Ibo (pretending to be Canadian), Roger Me and our visitor ashamedly accepted their fate, the Boob-a-lube initially refused to take responsibility but finally hobbled up to accept punishment. After a series of other hilarious charges which I can no longer recall, he hands back to the GM who complained about the girls getting a lift back in a car or taxi. I guess rank has its privilege because she didn’t need to explain why she didn’t run this (or most of other runs). Tits-of-the-Week went up for nominations with Pussy Virus nominating his teammates Louis and Pauline for showing up for a ride at his home rather than his office, resulting in their late arrival. As soon as they arrived as the runners set off, the duo jumped out of the car and joined the pack leaving Pussy Virus to his normal catch-up routine. Only other nomination was Etan for turning around on the run for no reason, scattering the hashers and causing Boob-a-lube a very late finish. The duo won this hands down but the only tits-out-for-the-boys, unfortunately were those of Louis rather than Pauline.
What started out as a bit of a cock-up (as the original restaurant closed just as we arrived) ended up as a fantastic feast and drinks long into the evening all so generously sponsored by our hare. One of the finest dining occasions in recent hash memory. A true pity that most had already pissed off and gone home. Sincere thanks to hare Ambrose for a fine hash day out and capping this off with such a fine gourmet meal. ON ON
Run 1994 Wednesday 22 July 2020 – AGM
Venue: Aroi Dee Restaurant, Pattanakan Road
Hare: PatPom, co-hares – Wiggler and Whipcream
The AGM – JM run, delayed from April 2020 (due to Covid-19 crap) to 22 July 2020, was a rounding success! 39 Bangkok Harriette members showed up and 1 guest (who should be a member but guess is too “kee neo” to pay the membership fee and thus runs as a guest!
The venue was the well known Aroi Dee restaurant which in addition to its great venue and private second floor area, also is located in a super area for hashing offering a multitude of options for off road trail!
With the Grand Mistress blessing, and basic instructions from the three lovely Harriette hares, the pack took off on time with the usual front running bastards (Horny Viking, Ian P, etc., burning away as if they might not get beer at the end if they didn’t race the entire way!) and were quickly followed by the usual pack of wanna b’s up front and the vast majority of walking wankers in the rear! The one notable missing front runner was KC Boobabloo who decided to run with a severe case of Montezuma’s revenge (he eventually showed up back at the circle after it had started if that’s any indication of the state of his stomach!).
All the all the trail was a good mix of off road and road trail (albeit with one or two too many long cement stretches) over approximately 7 km’s, but the checks were easy enough that the entire group became stretched out due to little need to work hard on the checks. Still, the goal was met which was to have a scenic enough trail, shaggy included, which got everyone back in time for the circle and the follow-on all important annual AGM meal and party!
The GM run circle was lively enough with the usual myriad of down downs and accusations throughout. Tits of the week selection were pre-ordained as the RA obviously had it in for Weed Eater (aka Neil) despite some other notable candidates to include Snowy who showed up the Harriettes founders by wearing a Harriettes shirt from run # 25 (1982 I believe). Still, in the end former GM himself Weed Eater well represented tits of the week.
Following the circle the pack tracked a long way (10 meters) to the OnOnOn and AGM party venue, the second floor of Aroi Dee! The OnOnOn was notable that the female Harriettes must have been sprayed with anti-testosterone potions bc they chose to all sit together, forcing the lees able bodied estrogen free harries to sit amongst them smelly selves! Somehow they persevered (With Linda helping to bring some sanity to the group).
After a well deserved toast to the GM for her stellar leadership over the past year, as well as to the outgoing Hash committee, and after some fine Thai food and cold beers all around, the new incoming Hash committee was announced.
Following the announcement and the requisite photos, the AGM partied on till the wee hours (or so I have been told!). Great job outgoing GM and committee! See you next year!
Run 1992 Wednesday 8 July 2020
Venue: The Port
Hare: Sumran ‘Wonderwoman’ V
Now Wonderwoman’s run started down at the port
To get to Prapa Deang the ferry we caught
4 by 2 made the jetty but didn’t board
Waved us off from the land, a hashing fraud
On to the island following chalk and paper
Then lost at the 1st check, what a caper
Along concrete paths turn left and turn right
Following the trail markings into the night
Some checks were creative and took time to find
Other were easy when the hare felt more kind
One through the railings then shiggy to the park
We had to push on now as it soon would be dark
Back on the ferry and a short run home
Seeking amber nectar on the top some foam
While we were all out checking and looking
Back at the bucket the ladies were cooking
With down down’s administered in the usual fashion
It was on the best of Harriets passion
The food my dear, especially the curry
It tasted so good no one left in a hurry
So it came to an end run one nine nine two
I enjoyed it, I hope you did too.
Run 1991 Wednesday 1 July 2020
Venue: Bangkok Yai, Issaraphap
Hare: Holden ‘Eetan’ L
It is always a joy to run in this part of Bangkok – especially on a trail laid by expert hares like Holden “E-Tan” L. and KC!
Excellent, relatively long, run through narrow alleys with friendly local folks. A good thing about this area not far away from Wat Arun is that there are few dogs but much more (four legged) pussies.
The thunderstorm midway through the run provided a welcome cooling shower. Interesting sight though to see one Harriette using an umbrella to protect her high-so hair do.
The numerous checks held together the pack doing the full run (thank you very much Harriettes for taking care of some slower runners to make sure that they did not get lost!).
Selection of “Tits of the Week” was a quick process – the returner from Yangon. Everyone enjoyed the OnOnOn at the amazingly low priced BBQ place.
Summary = Great run ! Keep them coming !
Run 1990 Wednesday 24 June 2020
Venue: Ratchadapisek Soi 66
Hare: Greg ‘Tickler’ C
A big crowd of Hashers had assembled for the Bangkok Harriettes’ second post-COVID-19 run, and The Tickler’s return to haring.
The run location was a few hundred meters inside Ratchadaphisek Soi 66. Your scribe had not run from this location before, and was not disappointed, as The Tickler soon took us through green orchards and got our feet wet. Thereafter we followed a canal further north until the trail wound clockwise to the east. After the trail passed under the elevated expressway, the running surface shifted to concrete, and that’s how it stayed for the remainder of the trail back to the origin. Total trail length was between 6-7 km depending on how eagerly you were checking.
After the usual snacking and socializing, the Grand Mistress called the Circle, and started punishing the assembled Hashers for infractions real and imagined. She was soon supported by Religious Advisor Mongolian Crotch, who was on fire and dished out down-downs until our poor visitor was crowned Tits of the Week.
Good to be back to Hashing in Bangkok!
Run 1989 Wednesday 17 June 2020
Venue: Onnut Soi 37
The first run back after the COVID 19 lockdown. It was good to be back among good company despite the heavy rain throughout the evening …. But at least the wet weather helped to keep everyone cool.
The Hare, Tim “Crash” and co-hares Malinee “Nibbles” & Ian “Cod Piece” set an interesting – and thankfully not too long – run well away from heavy traffic fumes. It was good to run by the klong … lots of good fresh air.
You could hear monks chanting in the temples, see kids swimming in the Klong, people fishing – some with rods and others with nets and smiling faces everywhere. It seemed as if everyone was having the same thoughts:
Great to be back. Things were returning to normal. It was great to feel alive again
It was relaxing running along the klong – no difficulty keeping on trail – all we had to do was follow Hash Flash “Wiggler” with her green umbrella !!!!
But that tranquility was shattered when Lube a Boob issued military orders as he doubled back along the Klong near Shrinakarin.
He could see the slower runners – well behind him – on the other side of the klong. He could see that they were thinking about taking a shortcut over a nearby bridge to get to the return trail on his side of the klong.
Then came the shouted order from Lube a Boob…. ” No short cuts …stick with the trail” on pain of court martial and an execution squad !!!!!
At the end of the run it was good to catch up with friends after such a long break – cool beers in the cooling rain. There were some interesting fashion statements as well…Gung Runner had some very fashionable wet wear …..on the other hand, there was some very strange wet wear with Lube a Boob wearing a white plastic bag …. Different strokes for different folks ….whatever floats your boat I guess!!!!!!
The Circle thankfully was not too long, given that everyone – except Gung Runner and Lube a Boob were soaking wet. It was a nice gesture to give all the left over donated money to the Hash Piss which I am sure was much appreciated in these difficult times
The major decision for the circle to make was who would be nominated for “Tit of the Week” – Horny Viking or Ian “Cod Piece”. Ian “Cod Piece tried to claim Diplomatic immunity on the grounds that, as he was already in the centre of the circle and was running the voting process (acting RA), he could not be nominated.
His claim to Diplomatic immunity was strongly rejected by circle, but in a closely run vote, Horny Viking was voted “Tits of the Week”. A good and wise decision !!!!
A great first run…enjoyable circle … very sociable meal …. A memorable evening
Run 1986 Wednesday 4 March 2020
Venue: Nonthaburi, near Bang Plu Purple Line station
Hares: Short Shorts and Tinker
Thitaya and Tinker’s Excellent Adventure!
A pleasant ride out to the Hashing wilds of Rattana Tibet, with the prospect of an old restaurant site that is new again!… To the north and west of the main roads should hopefully still be good Hashing terrain.
Along the way, an expressway drive-by of the new Bang Sue Grand Station, still under construction. It looks like some kind of giant spaceship come down to crash land on the railways of Krung Thep. It should be interesting to see it when it opens, but since the SRT is very involved in its development, maybe it is still going to be quite some time?
An early arrival at the nice open-air restaurant, plenty of time to relax and socialize with fellow hashers. Resisting the temptation to order a pre-run beer…. But then around 4:30 the hare and co-hare arrive back to join us. The poor co-hare looks so all done in, I simply MUST offer to get him a beer. His answer: “why only one? Let’s get two bottles…”. A fine start to the run already!
The circle is gathered up at 5:15, for instructions including short and long run options, plus a promise (or threat?) of “extreme hashing” someplace along the way. Off we go with an “On On” down the road and left into the first side soi.
A pleasant meander early on through the back sois and along a couple of khlongs, mostly still on pavement but pleasantly free of cars, motorcycles and exhaust fumes. A few cunningly laid checks slow down the FRBs and keep the pack together, especially one back-check at the entrance to a housing estate. The guard kept absolutely insisting we must go further on up the road, when in fact it was a well-concealed back-check. The guard was cleverly coached by the hare to send us astray perhaps?
Out onto one more main road briefly, and on to an intersection at a Family Mart where both “short run” and “long run” are clearly etched in the pavement. At this point I was comfortably in the middle of the pack, as “Bullit” Boulter, Yuri and I follow others across an open field behind the store… Looking back a couple minutes later, we are apparently the tail-end of the long run now! Everybody else seems to have opted for a food/sprite/beer stop at the corner store and then taken the short-cut route….
But the long route starts with a pleasant loop, then momentarily rejoins the short route road as we fall in with Cap’n Eric and Rawhide walking along. But then the real trail takes a right turn down a shady tree-covered gravel lane turning quickly into dirt trail and we are off into the wilds finally! A wonderful jog/walk thrashing through some jungle, criss-crossing a dry water course, some incredible large bamboo trees looming overhead and then finally following the bottom of the dry water course out to a road again. But that was not the end of any so-called “extreme hashing”…
Back into some brush and fields of long grass. Thank God for Yuri running back and forth to take pictures (she must run twice as much as anybody else!…) and keeping Bullit and I on trail, or I would be hopelessly lost and left behind… We reach what is surely the extreme highlight of the run, a chicken-wire fence to be climbed, where some maniac has written “Hash Heroes” – no doubt the co-hare, as the wonderful hare would never have done this to us….
Across another open dirt field and ha ha, one more extreme obstacle, now down and under another fence, scraping our backsides in the dirt. And now catching up to some more of the pack, and finally on-on through a group of beautiful, spacious and well laid out temples, a large white pagoda apparently under renovations with scaffolding up the sides, then finally “On In” back across one ornate khlong bridge and into the back of what I was later told is still a Royal Wat? The very last late dusk glimmer of light on the top of the temple buildings looks beautiful and serves as the ending exclamation point of an excellent run, as we are back out to the main road and On In to the restaurant…
A very relaxing cool-down with amber liquid flowing and delicious nibbles, including some freshly fried spring rolls and spicy sauce from Kim, delicious! The circle is called and the consensus is an excellent run by the hare and co-hare and down downs awarded. the Senator steps in to serve as RA, and various punishments are handed out, including some bizarre accusation that I was an FRB at some point in the run, lol! The rising price of gold is noted, and all those wearing gold chains or jewelry are given down-downs for being such clever investors. Tits of the Week goes to Tinker for some major infraction, probably manufactured, as he simply deserved it on general principle!
On On On to the restaurant for a delicious dinner of various customary Thai dishes, lots more beer flowing and a lengthy discussion with Snowy and others about the challenges of multiple private companies and consortiums building urban rail systems in New York, London and now Bangkok, finally leading to mention of the former “Hopeless” project (aka Hopewell) and why there are still some random old concrete pedestals for roads and railways cluttering up the Bangkok landscape.
But at last the night wears on and we all head for the exits and another wonderful Wednesday evening with the Bangkok Harriettes is concluded…. On On!
Run 1985 Wednesday 26 February 2020
Venue: Bangkok Yai, Baan Wang Derm
Hare: Mongolian Crotch
We were excited. Woody was hare and no doubt Kevin roger me would be there to advise. Whispering in her ear. Easy to get to. Just sit quietly on the MRT trying not to cough or sneeze. Mask on or off. Does it matter? Exit 1 then 300m to a rustic car park. Welcoming chalk messages on the road.
Wat Arun not far away. A very big river crossing to Dusit? A city run of course but taking advantage of the MRT extension beyond Hua lumpong. Where would the trail take us? Patpong the GM looked around, all ready? Ok and away we went. A good bunch of some FRBs – Etan, whoremonger, patpong, yuri, phonphen man, checkless and KC. Bullitt doing very well. Where was gung pet? Pussy corona arriving 29 mins late. Into a rabbit Warren of tiny alleys and klong paths. The checks were good being at difficult crossroads. Well marked. Lots of cats and a few dogs.
Catlee was amazing. Our wonder woman short cutting by leaping from roof top to rooftop. Mini rocket Yuri ran twice the distance having to take photos from the back to the front and back again. Putting KC to shame.
Woody as RA lovely as usual. Looking sideways at our visitor from Pnom Phen!!!
Checkless gets a drink for beating KC. Tinker for letting his trousers fall down. KC for scaring the locals with chattering teeth which could be heard for at least 100m. Then TOTW to our sex tourist from Pnom Phen.
Run 1984 Wednesday 19 February 2020
Venue: Prakanong, condo Sukhumvit Plus
Hare: Mayli ‘Hot Chili’
A run sooo goood I just had to do it twice…
Good job to our Hare Hot Chili and Co Hare Khlong Dam for a setting a wonderfully balanced trail that will satisfy all but the most hard core amongst us.
Starting off the hard tarmac of Prakanong was perfect to warm up to what lies ahead……..veggie shopping…….
Pom and Kung.. so confident in their running prowess that they felt compelled to stop by the Talad Nat, buy some cauliflower, do some price haggling and let us through just to make it more interesting.
The front runners, having ran this area thousands of times before knew we were inevitably going across the Khlong and went straight for the bridge, missing all the market action. This will eventually lead to the endless bitching about the trail being too short.
Off to the otherside of the Khlong and things start to fall apart….for me atleast. With the directional remnants of chalk and paper all over the place, with some dating back to the last Halloween run of god knows which year, I had to rely and infinite wisdom and masterful sense of direction of Boob-a-Lube.
Expertly maneuvering in between posts, weaving through traffic and making completely uneducated guesses we have successfully missed the trail by over a kilometer.
With rest of the pack on paper, trudging on open fields, punching through concrete walls and over a kilometer behind us, we triumphantly claimed victory in just 38 mins with just under 5 km to show for.
After bitching and complaining with our lovely hares on how short it was and how inaccurate our GPSs were, we were overcome with guilt and felt the need validate our stupidity and re run the trail doing the same lame ass assumptions and mistakes. We ended up on the same trail thereby confirming what has been known all along –
♪♪…that we are stupid, we’re so f_cking stupid, if it wasn’t for our mother we’d be a spot …♪♪……
Our Grand Mistress “Sizzler” welcome a new boot from Singapore – “Bay” while our prick of the week Khlong Dam watches on.
Run 1983 Wednesday 12 February 2020
Venue: Pattanakarn 25, Krua Rim Mong
Going, Going, Pattana-Gone!… Or – Concrete and Khlongs and Crossings, oh my!…
After first walking the length of Sathorn and Wireless Roads in the mid-day sun to meet up for a ride with Malinee, I felt like I had sweated enough already for today, so did I really need to do the run too?… Just sitting and sipping a cold beer from 5:15 pm onwards sounded about the right pace for me.
But after cooling off and arriving at the run site, a fine crowd of enthusiastic Harriettes and harriers are gathered, a reasonably balmy evening beckoned, and so with some minimal guidance about chalk and paper and short and long routes from the hare, On-On and off we go into the wilds of Pattanakan. A somewhat in-city run to be expected, but off of main roads enough to escape the worst fume-sucking tendencies…
Passing northwards under Rama IX road, discriminating against us taller people as Shaggy noted, crouching under low bridges several times, a couple of checks kept the pack close early on, and then we all spread out along a series of khlongs and concrete walkways, reminding runners of those days of yore when Krung Thep was still the “Venice of the East.” It would be nice if the BMA would undertake a plastic and garbage removal effort and clean the canals up again, but surely just wishful thinking…
At one point a pack of Harriettes goes running by us at a high speed pace, giving us incentive to chase after, but then leaving us in their dust… One particularly tricky khlong-side walkway was well-overgrown and difficult to navigate, culminating in what the hare no doubt thought was the highlight, a metal gate stuck open across the walkway, putting many of us in peril of taking a dive into the fetid waters, but all managed to survive the obstacle course apparently.
Then back under Rama IX Road, crouching low and again punishing the taller types, a quick dash across the train tracks with a passenger train approaching about 60 seconds away… then southward along further concrete khlong pathways, occasional road crossings, dodging a few crazy motorcyclists and cars, most checks already broken by the FRBs, so a nice continuous jog/walk with Shaggy where we seemingly solved all the problems of the world, including the spread of Coronavirus, the death of democracy in America, Britain’s recovery from its Brexit hangover, etc., etc. – now if only they would put us Hashers in charge of the world, all would be well!…
After a nice wide final loop around the khlongs and concrete walkways, we come back to the On-In and a return to the always welcome Hash Piss truck! A fine run by the hare and co-hare all around, as recognized in the circle by the Grand Mistress. The pre-circle convivial social drinking was highlighted by some absolutely amazing and delicious fresh-cooked “tod man plaa” fish cakes by Kim ‘Normal’, aroy maak!
The circle commenced with a very appropriate moment of silence and prayer for victims of the Khorat shootings first, and then down-downs administered to a few returners and a visitor from Belgrade or Rhode Island or somewhere. The Senator passed out further down-downs as RA, including to all the couples to help them celebrate Valentine’s Day, then moved quickly to the Tits of the Week. In the best tradition of one-party democracies, a single nominee was submitted, nominations closed and KC was unanimously voted Tits of the Week!
The On-On-On at the restaurant was quite enjoyable as always, nice outdoor table and no need for A/C, good and plentiful food, lots of beer and wine and good company. Tinker and our visitor were very careful to not talk or compare notes too much about growing up in Rhode Island, for fear it would turn out they grew up on the same street or were related or something… Once everybody was fully sated and comfortably relaxed, it was time to call On-On one last time and embark home into the night.
A very good run, great fun before, during and after the run, and one more wonderful evening with the Bangkok Harriettes, On-On!
Run 1982 Wednesday 5 February 2020
Venue: Bang Wa, Noodle Restaurant
Hares: Morning Glory and Boobalube
For those who took time to solve the checks, 10km was significantly more than the hare/co-hare combination indicated at the pre run circle. One suspected something amiss when co-hare Boob a Lube forced chalk on each runner with instruction to break checks at every opportunity in order to ensure all who started would be seen again before Thursday.
On out (and on in) crossed busy Ratchapreuk by pedestrian bridge before delving into semi urban settlements crisscrossed by klong paths, country homes and moo bans.
Initial back checks gave a flavour of tonight’s run, with their predictability encouraging walkers and slower runners to move from laggards to front runners at almost every check.
20 minutes in had City Girl and Nibbles discussing suitable short cuts back to the beer truck, whilst the rest of the group persevered mostly on concrete. Your scribe, a renowned front runner found that no matter how hard and fast one ran, one was continuously behind JM Auntie’s Crotch’s walking stick.
Trial makings were clear and accurate, particularly the big writing on a wall declaring “my co-hare is insane”.
Hash flashing Wiggler continuously zoomed ahead to capture the event, whilst Tom Yam Gung and visitor Pants Down set a disturbingly fast pace for Wednesday hashers. With synchronised check breaking they were congratulating the hare Morning Glory after 1 hour 10 minutes. Scribe arrived shortly after and noted the short cutters with beers in hand discussing techniques of running with the head, not the legs.
The circle unanimously confirmed an excellent run before RA Woody admonished beer penalties to commemorate the Thai response to Chinese viruses, Brits leaving the EU and how a young marriage matures, using Shaggy, City Girl, Short Shorts and Tinker as leading actors.
Tit of the week went unsurprisingly to Pants Down, whose disappointment became obvious on hearing that he had to remove and to return the girly garb after the event.
A dozen or so sat down to a fine ononon, choreographed by co-hare and his seemingly loving wife. An unstoppable barrage of homely food and cold beers flowed. An excellent hash evening with Marjorie and KC showing what can be achieved when you’ve f&ck all else to do all day.
Run 1981 Wednesday 29 January 2020
Venue: Ratchadapisek Soi 66
This week’s run was from Ratchadapisek Soi 66, which most Hashers present thought was a new run site. However, it was revealed that in days of yore it was a popular location for trails set by Pitak ‘Pisstak’ C (R.I.P.) and by Narest ‘Nearest and Dearest’ R. Though now boxed in by expressways, moobans and electric train lines there still remains a small oasis of Hashable territory relatively close to the city.
About 20 Hashers gathered at the car park, including City Girl and Shaggy who have one of their many palaces nearby. We set off on a well marked trail, and before long your scribe was able to follow Pink Panther along a shortcut which enabled us walkers to catch up with the FRBs – well almost. After going alongside a filthy klong for a while we reached a klong T-junction where the trail went left under an extremely low bridge. It then wove its way through the remaining greenery and before long we were next to the collection of junk food outlets by the Expressway B10 toll plaza. From there it was a short run/walk back to the beer, though some of the Harriettes found the pull of the market too great to resist and almost missed the circle.
There was the usual social drinking before GM Sizzler called the pack to order. There were several nominations for Tits of the Week, including Nibbles and Normal for having a private circle, and Dripper for wearing a headscarf on the run that Tickler thought was gay. Dripper won the competition, and then Tickler arranged to meet him at a quiet bar he frequents on Silom Soi 4.
The circle was dismissed and Hashers adjourned to the Buzza Restaurant at the mouth of the soi. On the way to the restaurant Shaggy got a call from City Girl telling him that she’d arranged a motorcy taxi to take him to the restaurant in case he should go astray. Immediately after that a motorcy pulled up and whisked Shaggy away – to the restaurant?
Thanks to the hare for a very interesting retro run.
Run 1980 Wednesday 22 January 2020
Venue: Near Asok BTS
Hares: Sweetie and Rawhide
A big crowd has appeared for the birthday run of Sweetie, the intrepid (and very retired) pilot. Upon arrival, we found that Sweetie was assisted by the stalwart Hasher Rawhide. This had the looks of a good run.
Before unleashing the hounds, Sweetie offered complex instructions: there would be short, medium and long runs; someone else just set a run from this location last week, leading to multiple possible trails; when I flew in Nigeria, they needed a rope to keep the local girls away from the patrons in the bar; we will have different color chalk for different runs; flying over Borneo before invention of the compass was really something; if you see two different colored trails, then you should be on the medium run; and so on.
The pack set off, and before you know it, everyone was scattered in groups of no more than three hounds, all following different trails. Your scribe ended up doing a very interesting 10.5 km trail that apparently weaved multiple old Hash trails together. Starting from the restaurant at the Asok junction, it went south along the lake in Sirikit Park, then parallel to Rama IV inside the tobacco monopoly, before heading north and eventually making it onto the elevated pedestrian walkway following the canal. After crossing the expressway on the pedestrian walkway, the trail went down to ground level, and criss-crossed the Bon Kai community until popping out on Rama IV Road. Then the trail crossed Rama IV Road on a pedestrian walkway, and ran in the alleys, before eventually following the railroad tracks towards Khlongtoey. After crossing through the wet market, the trail returned to origin via a long stretch on Ratchadaphisek Road. Well done to all of the hares who contributed to this trail, including Sweetie and Rawhide!
After the run, the Grand Mistress called the circle, adeptly assisted by the always entertaining Senator. To everyone’s great surprise, the birthday boy himself, the hare, Sweetie, won the strongly contested “Tits of the Week” prize and donned the skirt and bra for everyone else’s amusement. Sweetie downed the huge “Tits of the Week” beer in no time, showing the rest of us that age is very much a relative term.
Thank you to Rawhide and Sweetie for a very nice evening of Hashing!
Run 1979 Wednesday 15 January 2020
Venue: Kampaeng Phet Road, Kanvela
Hares: Tinker and Short Shorts
This was a well thought out run by Tinkler and Short Shorts. The easy access by MRT, BTS, Beer Truck and car was commendable. Furthermore, the on sight, tried and trusted Suan Kanvela restaurant met expectations.
The pack set off with the ladies taking command until the first check which confounded the many with multiple possibilities and a false trail. Eventually the trail went back upon itself and the rest of the run went smoothly to the second check. The trail then continued on with the guidance of KC, through the campus and out to the new railway station, up along the tracks to an old hash bash haunt for a welcome beer stop.
By this point in time half the pack had short cutted back but those who stayed enjoyed their beverages for a last hoorah in a soon to be demolished venue. To my knowledge KC, Rawhide and the ladies were the only ones who continued to complete the run. The remaining drinkers accompanied Tinkler as the crow flies, back to the start. The front runners showed up considerably later than Tinkler had anticipated. Rawhide made his appearances just minutes before the circle was formed and all was concluded in good order.
Run 1978 Wednesday 8 January 2020
Venue: Chalerm Prakiat Soi 47
A great turn out for Rawhide’s run at Chalerprakiat Soi 47. The GM called the circle and the Hare explained the markings and what to expect, mentioning a “H4” mark that nobody understood.
“OnOn” shouted the GM and the pack set off on the trail with only a few non-runners looking after Ay the Hash Piss and a box of red wine. The trail crossed the usual rickety bridge at the end of the soi and onto the klong path. The front runners searched eagerly for a check but were not successful until 2km into the run.
The following checks did the job of keeping the Front Runners suitably confused and enabled the Mid Pack runners to catch up. Winding through the small alleys, dodging packs of dogs and rush hour traffic, the trail crossed over a main road and onto a winding klong path with many friendly locals and no dogs.
Most agreed that the second half of the run was the best, no traffic and open area with a slight breeze the cooled of the heat of the 8km trail. The FRB’s broke the checks and False Trails so that the mid Pack had an easy time and everybody arrived back at the A site within 20 minutes.
Boob-A-Lube and Selfie Queen were seen sprinting down the road in an effort to be first back, Boob taking the prize and making sure everybody knew.
The Hash snacks were excellent as usual, with a selection of fruit and a meat dish which everybody enjoyed along with lots of cold beer.
The Grand Mistress called the circle and charged a few Hashers before opening up for charges from the floor. TotW was awarded to Klong Dump who had foolishly tried to avoid paying the Run Fee and buying beer from 7-11.
Suan Irin was the location of the OnOnOn and the usual excellent food was served. In all, a great evening was had by all and thanks to the Hare for a great trail.
Run 1977 Wednesday 1 January 2020
Venue: The Port
Hare: Short Circuit, a.k.a. Semi-Conductor
Weather: Pleasant, perfect for running or strolling; darkness threatening. (The time of sunset is dictated by two factors – the earth’s tilt which makes the daylight hours longer or shorter, and to a lesser extent the fact that the earth’s orbit around the sun is an ellipse rather than a circle which makes ‘solar midday’ move. OK, got that? Just nod your heads. Now we can move on.)
First, there was an unusual instruction in the hares’ chalk talk: a U-turn. Anybody see it?
The first back-check was a bit long. Maybe Checkless solved it. Or maybe he didn’t, but he said he did. The trail took us along the road, past the main garden. There were quite a few back-checks and false trails. Despite that, the FRB’s (Pat Pom, Horney Vee and Vee, CoD Piece, City Girl and those other over-achievers) soon separated from the SCBs.
The trail took us in and out of the paths thru the greenery, on and off the walkways, climbed up and down poles and railings, all the good stuff you do in Prapadaeng. Many thanks to the gentlemen of the Bangkok Hash who helped the cripples up and over the rails.
It was a 7.3 km trail with checks that kept 4×2 and Hema somewhat together, bringing up the rear. KC fitted in and out of the back of the pack with the SCBs, not a testimony to a well-laid trail, but the result of KC’s signature style of blind overshooting, consternation, realization, and recovery. Somehow that got him to the virgin beer stop, while a bunch of other FRBs like Gringo, who refuse to follow KC, missed the beer stop completely. It is likely they short-cut the beer stop loop. Or maybe it was the tricky U-turn when they all stumbled blindly backwards? It was reported by Sizzler that only one FRB made the beer stop. The loneliness of the ling-distance runner, and then the reward.
Maybe the FRBs also missed the challenging raft? The surface didn’t look wet. The cohort bringing up the rear of the pack lined up nicely, No-No suppressed the urge to overload the raft, and we carried on through the public pocket park.
After the five-bottle beer stop (very much enjoyed, thank you hares), the trail crossed into and looped through the park, past the fountain (twice) and out past the guard and his Hounds from Hell.
I have no idea where we lost Som, Slippery When Wet, Off-Limits. Not sure if they made it across the river. They weren’t in sight on the On-In landing. The boatman on the return trip across the Maenam grossed quite a bit more than we thought reasonable, but what was the alternative?
The GM interrupted the beer and snacks banter, and called the circle. Cap’n Erik was hoping she’d announce that for the foreseeable future there would be no circle, just a lot of socialist drinking. Note to Sweetie: quiet socialist drinking.
Tinker was hoping that only brown bottles would be served. No more green beer. Fruit is out, salty snacks like crisps, peanuts, and pizza are in. (Great!)
Dream on. No such thing. Sizzler likes to run a circle exuberantly. KC shushed Jump Start when she turned on her ghetto-blaster. As usual, the hares found a few metres of virgin territory in the Green Lungs of Bangkok, and so it was acclaimed a good run. Returners were invited in for a tiny Harriettes’ beer, which keeps the run fees low. They were Hannah and Ass-Blaster (one medical tourist, one sex tourist, you decide which). There may have been announcements, actually more like questions, such as will there be a Hash Ball?
Nibbles and Normal teamed up to produce one of their amazing al-fresco OnOnOns, of which my favorite was Normal’s hang-lay, a northern beef dish. The yam pla duk foo, was tasty, everything was tasty, easy to wash down with beer.
The end of another good day in Bangkok. Thanks hares. (And Khun A and family.)
P.S. Snakebite and Rawhide both paid me 100 Baht to be mentioned in the write-up. So, OK, Hi Snakebite! Hi Rawhide!