Run Reports 2020

Run 2012 Wednesday 18 November 2020

Venue: Onnut Soi 37
Hare: Pat Pom

A strong contingent of 12 ladies arrived at the Harriettes Run to support hare Pat Pom and visiting hare Hot Lips. We were told to look forward to a medium length trail of about 7km not including the checks. Soon we were off, the trail well marked, Eaton and Codpiece racing to the lead alone with a visiting hasher Codpiece brought. GI Joe (visiting from Pattaya with his wife Squeeze My Tube) jogged a little slower alongside Boob a Lube and Selfie Queen. The ladies who were on trail – Whippet Cream, Angel, Eat Me, Tom Yum Gung, and Whip Me Houston followed discretely at a leisurely pace along with 4 x 2. Sizzler, Nibbles, and for a while even Crash brought up the rear! The checks were fairly quickly solved as we did a loop around the block and then headed to the big khlong, over the bridge and off to the right along the khlong.

There was soon a turn down a road along a small khlong and then into a khlong along some nice greenery. After a bit it was back to and across the big khlong, back down the khlong a bit and then up to Onut and on in! Run turned out to be 5½ km for those that did it. Lurch was seen skulking about on the trail on his bike by a number of hashers. Tickler was out there in a day glow outfit but we still didn’t see him too much on trail. Boob a Lube got lost as usual at about the 3km mark, reappeared to link up with lurch at the 4½ km mark then disappeared again coming in a little late thanking the hare for a 10km trail.

GM stand in Sizzler did the Gm honors and thanked the hares. Visitors Hot Lips, GI Joe, Squeeze My Tube, and Codpiece’s friend were all introduced. Hot Lips was asked, given her numerous appearances with the harriettes, why her wealthy husband had not included harriettes membership in her monthly allowance. A couple of significant returners were Selfie Queen and Whip Me Houston. The Ra dealt out some appropriate punishment and then Angel (Ya Ya – yes she says that is her hash name) brought out a birthday cake that Tom Yum Gung and GI Joe shared. This little episode almost resulted in some injuries with the no blowoutable candles causing havoc! The circle finished with GI Joe getting Tits of the Week, why you ask, he was the ugliest male visitor!

We adjourned to a really nice on on dinner that was heavily subsidized by the hare. The even became a little raucous after about have the folks departed as a bottle of wine and a bottle of brandy were completely consumed mostly by Ya Ya, Gung, and Whippet Cream; Boob a Lube, Eaton, Dam Buster, and Lurch helped a bit. Later than normal in the evening the ladies were poured into various items of transport and taken home. Another fun harriettes evening. On On to next week

Run 2011 Wednesday 11 November 2020

Venue: Krungthep Kreeta Soi 8
Hare: The Senator
Scribe: ???

2011, the Senator’s run, it was going to be fun….
But on the night, did it turn out right?
Well read this ditty and you’ll find out, there will be no doubt
He gave a briefing, just before we were leaving
If you count the checks right, you’ll get a prize tonight.
Virgin trail he said, he was off his head!
So off we went under the stars, weaving through cars
On the senator’s caper, with plenty of paper
I checked out with Checkless who’s known to be feckless
so went the wrong, way too many times that day
Then came some writing I read, “Half way now” it said
We were close to home, but if run back they’ll moan
I must run on and open my eyes, and count checks for the prize.
On we went into the night, yet again no flashlight
Up and down ridges, over steel bridges
Running full force, up by the golf course
That direction was a fail, we followed wrong trail
We soon found the right track, and were on our way back
Speeding up now we’ve nothing to lose, another 5 minutes we’ll be back at the booze.
Then came the circle with all of those clowns, laughing and joking and doing down downs
Now on to dinner always good here, nice food and wine and loads of beer
Lots of new dishes and staff taking care, also cheap – thanks to the hare
Then it was over time to say bye, when we are having fun time does fly
2011 the Senator’s run – Yes it was fun

Run 2010 Wednesday 4 November 2020

Venue: Sukhumvit Soi 50
Hare: Jumpstart
Scribe: ???

A Jumpstart run, aided by Slippery when wet …. set with …. toilet paper …. expectations were low…. Surprisingly it turned out very nice. Early checks kept the pack together for a bit. Eatan leading, vying with Khlong Dump for male supremacy! Tom Yum Gung and Pat Pom marking trail so the slow ones could find their way. Sizzler and Crash did at least 200 meters; pointed out by Tickler! Down Soi 50, false trail, more Soi 50; a small dirt trail to where Love Canal used to live; over Sukhumvit through the market; past Rawhides condo in habitat.
Across Onut down a Khlong and on in! A nice 6.5 km or so trail. Even Snowy, on his last single hash event made it around. Tickler kindly swept the trail. GM New Normal honored the hares, and a few returners. RA Sizzler punished sinners; Snowy was abused by the harriettes for taking himself off the market! Slippery When Wet got Tits of the week then it was on on to a nice on on on! See you all next Wednesday.

Run 2009 Wednesday 28 October 2020

Venue: PraditManutham Rd, Frog Restaurant
Hare: Codpiece
Scribe: Tickler

PraditManutham Rd, Frog Restaurant. Sounds like a good a place as any for a Harriettes a-site. The hare loves it since we ran from there on a Monday night just 2 weeks ago. The pack was rather small having only 8 that braved the student protests to make the run. Promptly at 17:15hrs the hare “CockPriest” gave instructions on what to look for along the trail…..shreddie and chalk! How creative this guy is! Also a warning of lots of false trails! As the pack set off, Boob-a-loob took the lead with an amazing burst of energy, a true 70 year old on hash steroids. He was followed closely by Red Hot Lips who clearly had intentions of more than just winning a race! A mere 200 meters from the start the paper vanished but front runners who now included Hema were trodding down an unmarked khlong pathway as if they could smell the trail. Shortly, everyone had to reverse direction to be on the correct trail… another khlong path of course!

Crossing the khlong on a narrow metal bridge took the trail through a small hole in the concrete block wall. It was amusing to see Hema taking about 5 attempts of fitting through this orifice before successfully exiting on the other side. After about another 500 meters khlong trail the paper was picked up on a bike path along the main auto thoroughfare. A few overhead pedestrian bridges brought the trail onto the other side of a “rush-hour” traffic clogged road. Continuing in the opposite direction the trail pointed into a dilapidated, abandoned building.

After about a 10 minute search, it was decided that this was a false trail. Checking forward yielded squat, but going backwards found paper off to the right in about 300 meters but that did not last long as another check was encountered. I checked left but found nothing but upon return to check it as broken straight ahead. Following the trail along this concrete footpath became difficult because it was now dark. The trail marks soon disappeared again alongside this very large, green and wet area. Supposedly the trail went right through it but I missed it! Now scared and thirsty it was time to navigate back to the a-site. With the aid of google maps, I was able to do this in 20 minutes.

Upon arrival at the a-site, Normal had her snack table in full operation and the beer was flowing. The circle was soon called to order and charges of being lazy were leveled against Lurch and Sizzler for being lazy for only completing 500m of the entire trail. The Tickler given a down-down for being stupid as he did not heed the calls of “on-back” at the beginning of the run. Boob-a-loob was admonished for being an antisocial old crank by always sitting outside of the circle and constantly complaining. Nominees for Tits-of-the-Week were The Tickler and Hema. Hema won this quite easily for not having any cerebral cognizance to not get married at age 79!

Announcements were made and the circle was called to a close and the pack adjourned to on-after “Frog” Restaurant where a wide variety of dishes awaited us. In addition to the standard Heinecken and Leo beer, Nibbles provided a bottle of Regency Brandy and Captain Erik and Sizzler added red wine. In less than an hour, all food was devoured and every drop of wine, beer and Brandy was entirely consumed. Good job hare Codpiece for picking up this run and delivering an interesting trail!

On.

Run 2008 Wednesday 21 October 2020

Venue: Rama 3 Road, Baan Itmorn
Hares: Weedeater and No Meat
Scribe: ???

Patpom was the assigned scribe, but she’s gone “Balik Kampung” (return to the village) the day after the run, so I am the emergency replacement scribe.

Last time I did a scribe report, it was for the same hare at the same run location. But it was for a different On-Sec, so hopefully this report will make to publication as submitted, without adulteration. The Hash Scribe is always right!

The hares No Meat and Weed Eater had laid such a great run (and On-On) the previous time, that it had been unanimously agreed that we needed a repeat run, so that those that missed the earlier run would have an opportunity also. But we mostly got the same hashers as last time, plus a few extras in Moonlight, Cod Piece, Snowy and Scum (visitor).

The run was planned as a “bus run”, which meant that the first several km’s was by BRT bus. As the start time approached, No Meat headed off the BRT station the buy the tickets … at which point Boob-a-lube announced that he was going to skip the bus ride and run to A-point and departed also.

Snakebite decided he was going to walk to bus terminal also so left early, assuming the runners would soon catch up. At which point every else decided to leave also, all walking to the bus terminal, with Weed Eater yelling some last minute instructions in the rear. Snowy was left behind still putting on his shoes, and Thalidoskid whose planning on a Just-In-Time arrival was thwarted by our early departure, was encountered when we were half-way to the bus station.

Of course, a bus has just departed by the time we arrived at the bus station, but a following one soon arrived. But we only had to go one bus-stop, so Boob-a-Lube was already on trail when we got there. A hint to hares… next time you do a bus-run, make it at least 2 stops, so we can get to the start before Boob-a-lube.!

The trail was a vaguely reverse version of the earlier run, but it was still new territory for most hashers, since the pack had got lost last we did this trail, and they never saw the most of it.

A memorable false trail at one the earlier temples, was made even more memorable by the front runners putting chalk arrows in the wrong direction, to further confuse everyone. But once that was sorted out, the remainder of the trail mostly went like clockwork.

Snowy and Snakebite were able to keep up to pack by doing some strategic short-cutting, while The Tickler elected to do the complete trail, and came in a bit later

The Hash-Crash of the night went to Scum, who tripped over while racing to finish and about 50 metres before the beer truck.

The GM duties were skill-fully attended to by the Hash Flash (Patpom), followed up by Codpiece doing his RA duties. And same-as before, another great on-on meal at the river-side restaurant.

In conclusion, another well-laid and interesting trail by the No Meat and Weed Eater.

Run 2007 Wednesday 14 October 2020

Venue: Taling Chan, Yok Krok
Hares: Bullit and Love Canal
Scribe: Eetan

The run started in a familiar place across the river along Ratchapruek Road. When I got in to the runsite the hare Bullit and his cohare Love Canal were sitting with wide grins on their faces and sporting well muddied shoes and socks. They promised it would be an interesting, nonlinear run.

We were starting 15 minutes earlier than the usual 5:30 pm start, apparently due to the sun setting earlier than usual. It was supposed to give the navigationally impaired, a bit more time see street signs and ask the locals for directions. I’d argue that if you’re lost along the way in the dark, 15 minutes doesn’t really matter that much.

After the usual useless instructions, we were pounding the pavement along the busy motorway and found ourselves at a check under a bridge. We all fanned out in different directions looking to break the check. It was not a difficult check and we were thankfully away from the motorway and into a nice neighborhood, then along khlong paths until it all opened to a beautiful temple complex that was still under construction. Another check and all the runners were back together in time for our first shiggy. Paper led through ankle deep water for about 50m and then disappeared in what looks like a dumpsite. Desperately looking for paper in a dumpsite is as difficult or as impossible as you would imagine. We quickly realized that the sneaky hares laid a false trail just to get our shoes wet and primed for what was to come.

Getting back on paper, we were on paved roads again for next hundred meters or so until we were back on soft, cushiony, slippery mud. The trail was getting more and more interesting as it was leading us to softer and softer terrain until it abruptly ended. The dynamic duo has led us to another dead end, we all had to do an about face and come out of the dense jungle single file. Retracing our steps, we came across Boob A Lube going the wrong way, while yelling On On towards the other direction. Given his stellar reputation for being on paper all time, we reluctantly followed his directions, and true enough it led to paper once again.

The trail led again to what looks like more soft mud and dense jungle. The entrance being suspiciously very well marked with copious amount of paper we decided we were not going to get suckered again into another false trail. Everyone started looking for alternative routes. After wasting precious minutes, we realized that we were fooled once again, for what looked like dense jungle is actually a nicely paved khlong path.

At about the 7 km mark, I finally came across the ON IN sign. I started to relax, and my anticipation heightened for what was ahead – cold LEOs. But I felt something was wrong here, how come I cannot smell the beers? The tricky hares had us fooled for one last time as the ON IN was still about a kilometer away from the beer truck, that was why my beer radar was not detecting anything.

Overall, it was an excellent trail with a good amount of shiggy and chicanery. Good job HARES!

Run 2006 Wednesday 7 October 2020

Venue: Ramindra, Chatu Chot 10
Hare: Checkless
So the hares appoint the scribe! At least on the harriettes the onsec doesn’t edit the write up. [Onsec’s note: I can edit what I like!] So starting at the beginning I had to wash my socks 32 times in clorox before I could put them in with the rest of the wash. Oh yeah the run. With Checkless reputation I wondered would the restaurant let us in, is there a parking fee, will it be another concrete run? Surprised none of that happened, however Checkless is a pathological liar. 6 1/2 km a little short, some water he says ….. more like 8 1/2 km more than half ankle to knee deep in water!!! Ergo my sock introduction!

We did a non normal, (not allowed to use the term Abnormal on the Harriettes), left hand loop. Eaton and Codpiece mostly leading, Boob struggling to keep up, Pom and Whippet Cream strolling along talking about white dresses (more on that later), Armondo or whatever his name is walking with City Girl. Snowy, Tickler and Capt Erik did their own thing, rumor is Capt Eric came back in a BMW! Anyway after a long loop we ended up behind BOOB going around the lake and as he stepped into a nipple deep hole so we knew where not to walk. Eventually we all finished within 10 minutes of each other. Checkless did not live up to his name, between water and masterful checks the pack stayed together the entire run. Snakebite walking was in front as much as anyone!

There was a circle, harriettes leadership typically absent, no GM no RAs no Onsec! Pat Pom was masterful as stand in GM. Codpiece RA’d. Eaton got tits of the week for duck abuse, stepped on one duckling then kicked another out of his way! Oh yes, then white dresses came up. Why are harriettes buying white dresses for an event involving Snowy? Malinee has not been informed, she’s pissed. Snowy says what event yet he is taking someone to a concert Saturday. Eaton brought this up in the circle; the information source appears to be Pat Pom. What does it all mean. Anyway, in sum a superb run and great circle. Dinner even better, great restaurant superb staff. On on till next Wednesday!

Run 2002 Wednesday 9 September 2020

Venue: Nakon In, Cowboy Restaurant
Hare: Greg ‘Tickler’ C

There were a few Harriettes gathered as I turned up on a Grab Motocy. All lounged around in tights. Does this mean anything? ‘Cowboy Restaurant’ is apparently well described in hash history and although the place had been half destroyed by a wrecking ball, the restaurant, the host and his wife remained intact and amazingly still open for the Harriettes.

I personally had a great run despite the afternoon rain making it unusually humid but also muddy. With Greg ‘Tickler’ as a co-hare I was told that the hashers expected a lot more bush, but instead we were greeted with wet cement and mud. In fact, when losing my shoe in the mud, I also lost the leading pack. I called for them but they were long gone and I was left to dig my shoe out of the mud. These were brand new shoes but no one had picked up on this up and according to my Dad I was lucky to get away without drinking from them at the end of the run. I continued on with Eetan and Bullit through some jungle and along khlongs. Those “frb’s’ at the front didn’t even mark the way at the check points leaving us even more lost and confused. Talking of the humidity, Puss Virus apparently arrived back before everyone else drenched as if he had been in a shower.

I was told that ‘No no’ knows this area well when he has his GPS watch working, but due to illness, he had to call in the help of ‘Tickler’, a hare well known and respected according to my old man. I have never run a hash outside Thailand and I loved the circle, so much fun with Ian ‘Codpiece’ the RA. I left after the entertaining circle but I was told by my ‘close relative’ that the food was a good as ever they produce in ‘Cowboy’ and the ‘on on’ was par excellence. I was born in Bangkok, live in Colorado but I just love being here. ON ON

Run 2001 Wednesday 2 September 2020

Venue: Chinatown
Hare: Tom ‘Pussy Virus’ E

I remember Pussy Virus being a ‘Live’ Hare and saying, “if you catch me, we’ll have a beer stop”. We would run like the very devil to catch him and be lucky if we had just the one beer!

Weedeater and I strolled down the road towards the A-site and the start of the run. We spotted Hell’s Angel looking a little confused and pointing down a small soi to where we should be meeting. “I can’t find it either”, she said. We spotted the chalk arrows on the road to guide us to the new and improved A-site, right next the ferry pier.

Normal and Nibbles had already staked their claim on the choicest places to put their tables, chairs, sofas and chaise langue. After all, if you intend to sit, drink and gossip about everybody, you might as well make yourselves comfortable!

Pussy Virus makes his entrance, completely soaked. Murmurs around the assembled Hashers suggest that his Live Hare intention is all bullshit and that he has really secretly already laid the trail in advance. Pussy Virus is of course a Master Grade Bullshitter as everyone would agree. However, not even he would stoop so low as to cheat over Live Haring..!

A fair sized gathering gathered in the limited Gathering area (limited because of all the chairs, tables and sinks bought by the Senior Harriettes). Some notable Returners, No Good Boyo feeling brave enough to expose his daughter to such a group of Miscreants.

Indeed Pussy Virus Live Hared. He took the pack across the river and made a great trail northwards towards the next bridge up river. We soon found Pussy Virus gasping for breath by the entrance of a 7-11 where he had to buy the first lot of beer. Naturally Weedeater was the first runner beating ALL the other Hashers by a big margin. The Hare stipulated that we couldn’t resume the chase until all the beer was consumed. Some of the Hashers clearly didn’t drink their ration, Drunkin Doughnut complaining that it should be wine…maybe with a few grapes and a ripe cheese..! After Weedeater finished the last of the beer (bless him) we took off in hot pursuit after the Hare. We wiggled left, we shimmied right, we run down small children and pounded pussies wherever we could find them. PV was clever than many expected. He laid a damnable check in a ‘pay-as-you-go’ fitness park knowing that none of us had any money.

Eventually we found the new trail, crossed the bridge and weaved in and out of the Flower Market. Time for another beer stop as Weedeater ran down the Hare again! By this time PV was looking, well .. on the pink side of off-white. Boob-A-Lube was up there at the beer stop.. then past it without take any beer, then back again, and again and again. Why he disappeared and reappeared so many times nobody is quite sure. Best guess is that he was caught in some strange time shift. Pussy Virus left us with even more beer to drink than the last time.

The beer was started to take its toll now and even Weedeater who normally prances and bounds like a Gazelle on steroids, was forced to slow the pace a little. Off-Limits, Moonlight and Etan were there in the group and Drunkin Doughnut, drawn along magnetically by his nipple rings, thundered through the dark alleyways of Chinatown. By now Pussy Virus was almost on his knees and forced to make another beer stop. Clearly age and gross debauchery have caught up with this great athlete as once, we would have just the one beer stop as we attempted to hunt him down and now there needs to be many more such stops.

Joking aside, a great run! Thank you Pussy Virus.

And so to the Circle..

All the usual stuff went on. No Meat was the extremely good RA bringing punishment and enlightenment to All. IboIbo should have been awarded for selflessly consuming the most beer. Hell’s Angel was punished for NOT wearing appropriate Hash gear in the Circle

Note: This write up was high jacked by Weedeater. To set the record straight; Henry and his Cameron were out in front with No Meat making a valiant effort to keep up with the youngsters.

Run 2000 Saturday 29 August 2020

Venue: Pak Nam Pran
Hares: Virginia Slim and Nibbles

Total 81 Hasher – 42 Harriettes, 39 Harriers

After paying the Baht 800 fee, The 80+ contingent donned their ID wrist bands left over from some previous hash function and assembled outside the Pattawia Resort on the Pranburi shoreline dividing into groups of walkers, short runners and long runners. The walkers and short runners head off first in Songthaews which returned in 20 mins to pick up the long runners. Turned out that the short and long run was the same route with an extra 2 km at the start and a 20 minute delay for the long runners.

This meant that in places, the run was conveniently marked by a well trampled trail. As we passed through pleasant countryside dotted with coconut palms and pineapple plantations, we noticed a few picturesque steep conical hills in the distance one of which was sure to have our name on it. Well the last thing I wanted to do was climb one of those hills and sure enough it was very nearly the last thing I did.

It was a hot day and a steep climb hindered by scree and prickly thorn bushes only to be greeted at the top with the words “Suckers” scrawled on an outcrop of glistening metaquartzite. Bastards! The way down was a pleasant meandering trail through scrub and bush through small cattle holdings towards a marsh and the inevitable requisite shiggy. This delayed the by now strung out pack, effectively breaking it into two since the front runners had disappeared by the time we got to an intersection. The rest of the run was mostly well marked, with a stretch of road, some confusion and a final on in across gravelly alluvium to the beach.

The Circle

A tropical beach-themed T-shirt was handed out featuring a bikini-clad Minnie Mouse lounging under a coconut palm framed by “Bangkok Hash House Harriettes” (strangely no mention of BH3) with the names of the hare (Virginia Slim) and various sponsors on the back.

Ladyboy, recently released from detention, lead the circle calling in the hare and co-hares at least 3 or 4 times for various misdemeanours. There were no jokes though I did win an innuendo tournament last week. Well I had to beat a lot of stiff competition. Various representative hashers from other chapters were subsequently called in including a couple up from Phuket. Then a group of hashers from a Chiang Mai matriarchal tribe that allows men to join subject to a fearsome ritual whereby they are converted into women. Proof of the drastic (and irreversible) treatment was found when one of the ex Hua Hin Hash GMs had to show his fledgling boobs. Dear me. We already have one ladyboy on the hash.

It was at this point that I at last managed to locate the Voice Recorder on my mobile. The remaining is a transcript of some of the more interesting and noteworthy scandals that came to light during the last 20 minutes of the circle.

Hasher : “…Definitely guilty…”
Hasher : “…But there is no proof though…”
LB: “I was running along at my normal speed, not very fast OK so I could recall some conversations that were going on and what do I see suddenly… Ibo-Ibo was stumbling. Number one, some barbed wire. OK, we cannot all be so gifted, and not too much further he fell a second time and that’s when he confessed to something that happened in his bedroom. Apparently he cannot get it up anymore. Maybe you were talking about your feet but I was completely…well… So I just want to ask for proof. Whether it is true or not….. (Inaudible excuses). OK here’s to the happy couple…”
(song)
LB : “Talking about stumbling, I think we cannot do this without giving an honourable mention to our dear friend covered in mud from top to bottom… We were running along and suddenly we come to the first short runners, and I was surprised how slippery it was. He was covered in mud. Do you have anything to say about that? What happened?”
Hasher : “Well the only thing was…”
Circle : (anticipating a long ramble): “OK, thank you thank you”.
LB : “Here’s to the muddy one…”
(song)
LB : “Can we have the hares and co-hares in the circle. Have you been keeping any messages from Virginia about disagreeing with the GM as to whether this run was going to be too long or too short? What should we do with the…? Ok so now we suddenly have two co-hares. I wonder. Why was there a need for two co-hares? Something happened this morning? Couldn’t set a trail? Just wondering whether there was…?”
Hare : “This lady over here had the answer… something happened last night.”
Hasher : “We will re-enact it again tomorrow”
Hasher : “Was it ladyboys? Women?”
Co-Hare: “Incredibly enough he remembered this morning that he had recruited me for co-haring. He didn’t remember that he had recruited him for co-haring. So he ended up with two co-hares.”
Hare : “And expert co-hares I may add.”
LB : “To the hares and the co-hares…”
(song)
No Meat : “They’re all right, They’re all right, they can’t get it up but they’re all right.”
Pussy virus : ” We may be a joy to our mothers…”
(A Thai lady sternly warns the circle to be quiet and then it is noticed with some consternation that some hashers are not wearing the hash T-shirt)…
Hasher : “You can stand in for 4 by 2….”
Hasher : “…Anything for another beer”
LB : “Do any of you have a really good excuse for not wearing the hash shirt?”
Hasher : “….Yeah look at it!”
Hasher : “….I’m saving it to sleep in tonight”
Hasher : “….Do me a favour”
Hasher : “….I’d love to see the curtains in your house.”
LB : “Can I have the hares and co-hares in the circle. I know this because when he dropped us off, he was limping.”
Co-hare : “He has always been limping.”
LB : “Can you explain yourself hare? What did you do?”
Hare : “As a purely mutual observer to this. This man had a huge rusty machete…”
Hasher: “A huge what?”
Hare : “A huge rusty machete.”
Hasher: “He’s got a rusty chopper.”
Hare : “I said please be careful chopping. And his first swing went into his leg.”
Co-Hare : “It’s true it did.”
Other co-hare : “His wife paid me to kill him”
Hasher : “She didn’t pay you enough obviously because he didn’t die”
Hasher : “So you will not be getting your rewards in paradise.”
Hasher : “There’s always trouble in paradise man.”
(song)
LB : “Can I have Checkless in the circle… I am sure there is a story. Why were you not at the start of the run?”
Checkless : “I ran the run. I went up that hill.”
LB : “That was the wrong hill. It was that hill.
Checkless : “Oh shit. It was that hill.”
LB : “Here’s to the stupid one…”
(song)
LB : “Can we have the hares and co-hares in the circle. ”
Circle : “Where’s the ice? Ice. Ice”
LB : “I don’t think we need to do that because as a Belgian this is very close to my heart.”
Hasher : “Do we need to stand away from him.”
LB : “I need a volunteer to go and check Virginia Slim’s bedroom or hotel room. Because…”
Hasher : “Or the trunk of his car. Does he have a cellar?”
LB : “Are you going to volunteer? I don’t think he can acquire somehow. These three were apparently thirsty at some point.”
Co Hare : “We were thirsty”
LB : “And what happened was. Kids running around…”
Co-Hare : “This is what happened. Virginia slim very kindly decided to buy his co-hares a drink. What a lovely guy. But as he goes to the counter to buy his co hares a drink, he notices four little girls all around about 7 or 8. So he buys them some sweeties.”
Circle : “Oooohhhhh. Grooming. Grooming”
Hare : “I get along with women under 8 or over 80. It’s just the in-betweens that I have a problem with.”
Lady hasher : “Be careful, be careful”
Circle : “Paedophilia”
LB : “Can we have the 80 year old woman in here.”
Hare : “Now she’s in my age group”.
Duchy : “My countryman”
LB : “Do we have a qualifying woman under 8 here?”… A song for the Belgians and the Belgian look alike. Here’s to the paedophiles.”
(song)

There then followed down downs for Normal and the Hare followed by a thank you to the organisers, and announcements for the On On and Hangover Run. Then a special announcement…
Chiang Mai Bunny Hash GM. : “On behalf of the Bunny Hash from Chiang Mai, October 30 we are inviting all of you to come and join us. We have a special run for Cherry Picker run. Yes guarantee you will have fun. October 30. The cost will be 700 baht include the run, T-shirt, dinner, dancer (?). It is going to be fun. In this event… adventure, challenging, whatever, we will have fun. Check on the Chiang Mai hash website. And we have…” (Circle breaks into a song). “…Shut the fuck up. Listen. Name of the run. Cherry Picker. Hope to see you. On On”

It was then decided to have a group photo on the beach but due to our tanned complexions and the fading light it was too dark so we assembled in front of the street lamps.

The On On
After the circle we all returned to our looms to change and then proceeded up the beach to find the Pran Corner restaurant located about 700 m further up from the hotel. Several tables were arranged outdoors serenaded by a competent band playing Shadows covers and other nostalgia from the early 60s carefully chosen to please the average age of the attendance.

Food included some sort of chopped catfish fried to oblivion, buffalo wings, cabbage cooked in cabbage, some Tom Yam Gung I do believe, a green chicken curry, some stir-fried chicken, some other stuff plus no meat for no meat. Beer was included too but we remarked on the way back that we were strangely not pissed despite drinking copious quantities of Leo. So it was suspected therefore, that the beer may have been pre-iced as is the Thai custom. There then followed some energetic dancing to some up-tempo tunes before finally calling it a night.
The hangover run had been arranged for 10 am the next morning after breakfast. We left early so did not attend the run. It must have been gruelling as it was a very hot day.

All in all a great weekend.

Run 2000/1 Sunday 30 August 2020

Venue: Pak Nam Pran
Hares: Nobbles and Bullit

Starting time of hangover run kept changing every time it was announced, finally 10 decided but the crowd was held up another 30 minutes before the almost sober pack of 21 females and 18 males were allowed to f_ck-off. Hotter than normal, shiggier and longer than could have been expected for a hang-over run by Nibbles and Bullet. Some of the dehydrated hallucinating or just stupid, hashers, no names mentioned but Off-limited was one of them, didnt manage to open the Mo-baan door to pass through.

All managed however to get to the end at the mouth of the river where the piss was waiting, except City Girl who stopped for shopping.

Harriettes GM honored the sponsors of the weekend with Kangkenglae (wtf?), all in different colors which resulted in fighting between the generous ones. Ononon at the local seafood restaurant was claimed to be delicious, but not enough to be finished so the left-over soup ended up at the GM’s establishment, the microwave and new bowl made a miracle….

Run 1998 Wednesday 19 August 2020

Venue: Seri Thai Road
Hare: Kevin ‘Roger Me’ M

Hashing Through the Forbidden Housing Estate

This was a beautiful run through some nice countryside, with some interesting twists along the way.

The pleasant countenances and sly smiles belie the insidious nature of the hares (Roger Me & The Tickler). While setting the run, it became clear that the hares had harassed and inflamed the locals in the housing estates in preparation for the incoming horde of hashers.

With some warning from Roger Me about the upcoming housing estates, the pack of intrepid hashers was off. As a fairly new Bangkok hasher, I was amazed to once again find an oasis in this urban setting a beautiful park next to a beautiful lake, reminding me again of the hidden gems in Bangkok. There were many non-hash runners in the park clearing going in the correct direction as it was opposite from the hash direction. We then left the beautiful park to go into a commercial area & I’m thinking “well that’s the end of this beautiful hash.”

Shortly afterwards, we ventured into the first housing estate, and met the first unhappy guard and residents. It was my chance to hear some new Thai expressions. Were the housing residents saying to me “ run strong, dear visitor” or “ you better get your white ass out of our neighborhood.” Even with my very limited Thai, I’m quite sure it was the latter.
We circled through the estate, not finding an exit point, so back out the entrance, to much happier estate residents.

Then off to the second housing estate. Hare waiting outside waving hashers in, with the same sneaky smile. More unhappy guards and irate residents. No doubt primed by the diabolical haring duo. Heard some of same Thai expressions, and I was even more convinced that they were not exhorting me to “run strong, dear friend….”

Per hare directions (after all these hashing years, I still listen…), we ran to the left side of the estate expecting an easy exit. Of course, no easy exit appeared. The trail continued behind a row of houses along the wall, up and down concrete platforms, some muddy bits. Fortunately, the residents were become more friendly, or at least less displeased.

Followed a long stretch along this wall…. could we ever escape this forbidden housing estate before the dogs and/or police were called in?? At some point, KC (Boob-a-Lube) gave up on the hash path, & braved the main estate road, not to be seen for a long time. Wonder what he was doing…

At this point, I ended up running/stumbling alone on the path. OMG, would I ever leave this housing estate, or would my fate be to endlessly circle the forbidden housing estate? Oh, the insidious plot by dastardly hares….  Then, salvation in the form of several Harrietts. I would no longer be sentenced to run alone for eternity in this housing estate….   Then, finally, a way out over a ladder on the wall! But what would be on other side?? Alligator pit? Brothel? At this point, it didn’t really matter. Carefully crossed over the ladder (no parkour stunts this time…) to find a nice grassy, muddy patch leading to some shacks. And back to Thai smiles rather than Thai scowls. Once again, those with less seem to smile more…

Followed by some nice wandering around, along klongs, and nice fields. Eventually my little group reunited with KC and EeTan. Occasionally there were cries of “on on” from the distance but nary a crossed check…. Hence the name FRBs!!!
Eventually got back to main road to search for a long time for the trail.

Having given up on finding the true trail, many hashers including lead FRBs Ibo Ibo and Horney Viking decided to run 1.5k along the main road, enjoying smog and noise. May they enjoy their congested lungs…. Too bad, as the last stretch was very pleasant through fields and along klongs.

As sun was setting, those who finished ALL the trail joined the FRBs and other lazy short cutting bastards, where (mostly) all were smiling and happy. Etan was the clear winner of Tits Award, and happily displayed his curves to the “appreciative” circle.

Great run! Despite their nefarious attempts, the diabolical hare duo were unsuccessful in stranding any hashers in the forbidden housing estate or secretly smiling as they were hauled off to jail for trespassing.

And maybe I learned some Thai warnings….
On on

Run 1996 Wednesday 5 August 2020

Venue: Chalerm Prakiat 28, Wat Bang Kaew
Hare: Ambrose
On this auspicious day in history the U.S. began bombing North Vietnam in 1964 and just last year widespread democracy protests in Hong Kong led to huge disruptions and 200 cancelled flights and chaos ensued.  With dark rain clouds looming, and Ambrose as the hare, we wondered what today might bring.  A relatively small group of about 15 avid hashers arrived at the run start or the general vicinity of the start as the pin drop Google directions were at the start of the long lane next to the rice paddy culminating at Wat Bang Kaew (rather than at the temple itself).  Ibo Ibo, following in the footsteps of Boob-a-lube, arrives an hour early at the temple but apparently can’t read so he then wanders back-and-forth along the road looking for signs of other hashers and chalks a few kilometers before the run even started.  There was a notable absence of many of the regulars including Captain Erik, Pat Pom, Snakebite, and even the trailmaster Tickler. Boob-a-lube was feeling giddy as he noted there were no other fast runners except for Etan and thought he might win this one. However, as we headed down the 500 meter stretch on out, runners Pussy Virus, Louis and Khlong Dump arrive to spoil KC’s wet dream.

THE RUN
The run took us down some familiar khlong paths, through a huge apartment block behind Ram #2, through a market, the university and after a few checks that didn’t stop anyone, we headed north out the side gate of the university.  Roger Me found the next check and excitedly ran back south down a khlong path only to hit an FT.  After all the front runners stupidly crossed the road and headed further north along the same khlong path, Roger Me also found the next check but was quickly passed by several hashers in a huge temple complex.   Etan finds the next check and after heading out towards the freeway and slowly being passed by PV and Louis, he suddenly turns around and heads back towards the pack sending  all hashers behind him to search in all directions in vain (later accusation that he did this intentionally to throw off Boob-a-lube, Ibo Ibo and others).

From there we ran along the freeway for what seemed like forever before taking a right and another 1 kilometer straight road section on the back side of the university.  Eventually we got back to familiar terrain and on to the “on out” khlong path and then through a ramshackle worker community where a young boy with hot red lipstick and an earring distracted Khlong Dump (known for his forays into such forbidden pastures) momentarily before the urge to stay with the front runners endured.    After retracing the first kilometer we were back at the start to finish the approximately 9km loop.  As the rain held off and the checks were easy to find, the runners appreciated a nice tough work-out.  Walkers slowly made their way to the finish, that is except for Yuree and Not-Ladyboy’s Yaa, who showed up in the dark just as the circle was starting.   Snowy had enough sense on this one to go find his own route.

THE CIRCLE
The “new” old GM, “new” Normal, brought Ambrose into the circle to receive all the accolades and high praise for a fine, well-marked run announced all the virgin runners and returners – a single American bloke originally from Phnom Penh but now having retired here (whose name escapes me) – which made her job quite easy.  She then turned it over to the guru extraordinaire RA for life or something, the Senator.  His first call of action was to berate all the Americans for letting their military into Thailand to spread Covid-19, while Ibo Ibo (pretending to be Canadian), Roger Me and our visitor ashamedly accepted their fate, the Boob-a-lube initially refused to take responsibility but finally hobbled up to accept punishment.  After a series of other hilarious charges which I can no longer recall, he hands back to the GM who complained about the girls getting a lift back in a car or taxi.  I guess rank has its privilege because she didn’t need to explain why she didn’t run this (or most of other runs).   Tits-of-the-Week went up for nominations with Pussy Virus nominating his teammates Louis and Pauline for showing up for a ride at his home rather than his office, resulting in their late arrival.  As soon as they arrived as the runners set off, the duo jumped out of the car and joined the pack leaving Pussy Virus to his normal catch-up routine.  Only other nomination was Etan for turning around on the run for no reason, scattering the hashers and causing Boob-a-lube a very late finish.  The duo won this hands down but the only tits-out-for-the-boys, unfortunately were those of Louis rather than Pauline.

THE BASH
What started out as a bit of a cock-up (as the original restaurant closed just as we arrived) ended up as a fantastic feast and drinks long into the evening all so generously sponsored by our hare. One of the finest dining occasions in recent hash memory.  A true pity that most had already pissed off and gone home.   Sincere thanks to hare Ambrose for a fine hash day out and capping this off with such a fine gourmet meal.  ON ON

Run 1994 Wednesday 22 July 2020 – AGM

Venue: Aroi Dee Restaurant, Pattanakan Road
Hare: PatPom, co-hares – Wiggler and Whipcream

The AGM – JM run, delayed from April 2020 (due to Covid-19 crap) to 22 July 2020, was a rounding success! 39 Bangkok Harriette members showed up and 1 guest (who should be a member but guess is too “kee neo” to pay the membership fee and thus runs as a guest!
The venue was the well known Aroi Dee restaurant which in addition to its great venue and private second floor area, also is located in a super area for hashing offering a multitude of options for off road trail!

With the Grand Mistress blessing, and basic instructions from the three lovely Harriette hares, the pack took off on time with the usual front running bastards (Horny Viking, Ian P, etc., burning away as if they might not get beer at the end if they didn’t race the entire way!) and were quickly followed by the usual pack of wanna b’s up front and the vast majority of walking wankers in the rear! The one notable missing front runner was KC Boobabloo who decided to run with a severe case of Montezuma’s revenge (he eventually showed up back at the circle after it had started if that’s any indication of the state of his stomach!).

All the all the trail was a good mix of off road and road trail (albeit with one or two too many long cement stretches) over approximately 7 km’s, but the checks were easy enough that the entire group became stretched out due to little need to work hard on the checks. Still, the goal was met which was to have a scenic enough trail, shaggy included, which got everyone back in time for the circle and the follow-on all important annual AGM meal and party!

The GM run circle was lively enough with the usual myriad of down downs and accusations throughout. Tits of the week selection were pre-ordained as the RA obviously had it in for Weed Eater (aka Neil) despite some other notable candidates to include Snowy who showed up the Harriettes founders by wearing a Harriettes shirt from run # 25 (1982 I believe).  Still, in the end former GM himself Weed Eater well represented tits of the week.

Following the circle the pack tracked a long way (10 meters) to the OnOnOn and AGM party venue, the second floor of Aroi Dee! The OnOnOn was notable that the female Harriettes must have been sprayed with anti-testosterone potions bc they chose to all sit together, forcing the lees able bodied estrogen free harries to sit amongst them smelly selves! Somehow they persevered (With Linda helping to bring some sanity to the group).

After a well deserved toast to the GM for her stellar leadership over the past year, as well as to the outgoing Hash committee, and after some fine Thai food and cold beers all around, the new incoming Hash committee was announced.

Following the announcement and the requisite photos, the AGM partied on till the wee hours (or so I have been told!). Great job outgoing GM and committee! See you next year!

Run 1992 Wednesday 8 July 2020

Venue: The Port
Hare: Sumran ‘Wonderwoman’ V

Now Wonderwoman’s run started down at the port
To get to Prapa Deang the ferry we caught
4 by 2 made the jetty but didn’t board
Waved us off from the land, a hashing fraud

On to the island following chalk and paper
Then lost at the 1st check, what a caper
Along concrete paths turn left and turn right
Following the trail markings into the night

Some checks were creative and took time to find
Other were easy when the hare felt more kind
One through the railings then shiggy to the park
We had to push on now as it soon would be dark

Back on the ferry and a short run home
Seeking amber nectar on the top some foam

While we were all out checking and looking
Back at the bucket the ladies were cooking

With down down’s administered in the usual fashion
It was on the best of Harriets passion
The food my dear, especially the curry
It tasted so good no one left in a hurry

So it came to an end run one nine nine two
I enjoyed it, I hope you did too.

Run 1991 Wednesday 1 July 2020

Venue: Bangkok Yai, Issaraphap
Hare: Holden ‘Eetan’ L

It is always a joy to run in this part of Bangkok – especially on a trail laid by expert hares like Holden “E-Tan” L. and KC!

Excellent, relatively long, run through narrow alleys with friendly local folks. A good thing about this area not far away from Wat Arun is that there are few dogs but much more (four legged) pussies.

The thunderstorm midway through the run provided a welcome cooling shower. Interesting sight though to see one Harriette using an umbrella to protect her high-so hair do.

The numerous checks held together the pack doing the full run (thank you very much Harriettes for taking care of some slower runners to make sure that they did not get lost!).

Selection of “Tits of the Week” was a quick process – the returner from Yangon. Everyone enjoyed the OnOnOn at the amazingly low priced BBQ place.

Summary = Great run ! Keep them coming !

Run 1990 Wednesday 24 June 2020

Venue: Ratchadapisek Soi 66
Hare: Greg ‘Tickler’ C

A big crowd of Hashers had assembled for the Bangkok Harriettes’ second post-COVID-19 run, and The Tickler’s return to haring.

The run location was a few hundred meters inside Ratchadaphisek Soi 66. Your scribe had not run from this location before, and was not disappointed, as The Tickler soon took us through green orchards and got our feet wet. Thereafter we followed a canal further north until the trail wound clockwise to the east. After the trail passed under the elevated expressway, the running surface shifted to concrete, and that’s how it stayed for the remainder of the trail back to the origin. Total trail length was between 6-7 km depending on how eagerly you were checking.

After the usual snacking and socializing, the Grand Mistress called the Circle, and started punishing the assembled Hashers for infractions real and imagined. She was soon supported by Religious Advisor Mongolian Crotch, who was on fire and dished out down-downs until our poor visitor was crowned Tits of the Week.
Good to be back to Hashing in Bangkok!

Run 1989 Wednesday 17 June 2020

Venue: Onnut Soi 37
Hare: Crash

The first run back after the COVID 19 lockdown. It was good to be back among good company despite the heavy rain throughout the evening …. But at least the wet weather helped to keep everyone cool.

The Hare, Tim “Crash” and co-hares Malinee “Nibbles” & Ian “Cod Piece” set an interesting – and thankfully not too long – run well away from heavy traffic fumes. It was good to run by the klong … lots of good fresh air.

You could hear monks chanting in the temples, see kids swimming in the Klong, people fishing – some with rods and others with nets and smiling faces everywhere. It seemed as if everyone was having the same thoughts:
Great to be back. Things were returning to normal. It was great to feel alive again

It was relaxing running along the klong – no difficulty keeping on trail – all we had to do was follow Hash Flash “Wiggler” with her green umbrella !!!!

But that tranquility was shattered when Lube a Boob issued military orders as he doubled back along the Klong near Shrinakarin.

He could see the slower runners – well behind him – on the other side of the klong. He could see that they were thinking about taking a shortcut over a nearby bridge to get to the return trail on his side of the klong.

Then came the shouted order from Lube a Boob…. ” No short cuts …stick with the trail” on pain of court martial and an execution squad !!!!!

At the end of the run it was good to catch up with friends after such a long break – cool beers in the cooling rain. There were some interesting fashion statements as well…Gung Runner had some very fashionable wet wear …..on the other hand, there was some very strange wet wear with Lube a Boob wearing a white plastic bag …. Different strokes for different folks ….whatever floats your boat I guess!!!!!!

The Circle thankfully was not too long, given that everyone – except Gung Runner and Lube a Boob were soaking wet. It was a nice gesture to give all the left over donated money to the Hash Piss which I am sure was much appreciated in these difficult times

The major decision for the circle to make was who would be nominated for “Tit of the Week” – Horny Viking or Ian “Cod Piece”. Ian “Cod Piece tried to claim Diplomatic immunity on the grounds that, as he was already in the centre of the circle and was running the voting process (acting RA), he could not be nominated.

His claim to Diplomatic immunity was strongly rejected by circle, but in a closely run vote, Horny Viking was voted “Tits of the Week”. A good and wise decision !!!!

A great first run…enjoyable circle … very sociable meal …. A memorable evening

Run 1986 Wednesday 4 March 2020

Venue: Nonthaburi, near Bang Plu Purple Line station
Hares: Short Shorts and Tinker

Thitaya and Tinker’s Excellent Adventure!
A pleasant ride out to the Hashing wilds of Rattana Tibet, with the prospect of an old restaurant site that is new again!… To the north and west of the main roads should hopefully still be good Hashing terrain.

Along the way, an expressway drive-by of the new Bang Sue Grand Station, still under construction. It looks like some kind of giant spaceship come down to crash land on the railways of Krung Thep. It should be interesting to see it when it opens, but since the SRT is very involved in its development, maybe it is still going to be quite some time?

An early arrival at the nice open-air restaurant, plenty of time to relax and socialize with fellow hashers. Resisting the temptation to order a pre-run beer…. But then around 4:30 the hare and co-hare arrive back to join us. The poor co-hare looks so all done in, I simply MUST offer to get him a beer. His answer: “why only one? Let’s get two bottles…”. A fine start to the run already!

The circle is gathered up at 5:15, for instructions including short and long run options, plus a promise (or threat?) of “extreme hashing” someplace along the way. Off we go with an “On On” down the road and left into the first side soi.

A pleasant meander early on through the back sois and along a couple of khlongs, mostly still on pavement but pleasantly free of cars, motorcycles and exhaust fumes. A few cunningly laid checks slow down the FRBs and keep the pack together, especially one back-check at the entrance to a housing estate. The guard kept absolutely insisting we must go further on up the road, when in fact it was a well-concealed back-check. The guard was cleverly coached by the hare to send us astray perhaps?

Out onto one more main road briefly, and on to an intersection at a Family Mart where both “short run” and “long run” are clearly etched in the pavement. At this point I was comfortably in the middle of the pack, as “Bullit” Boulter, Yuri and I follow others across an open field behind the store… Looking back a couple minutes later, we are apparently the tail-end of the long run now! Everybody else seems to have opted for a food/sprite/beer stop at the corner store and then taken the short-cut route….

But the long route starts with a pleasant loop, then momentarily rejoins the short route road as we fall in with Cap’n Eric and Rawhide walking along. But then the real trail takes a right turn down a shady tree-covered gravel lane turning quickly into dirt trail and we are off into the wilds finally! A wonderful jog/walk thrashing through some jungle, criss-crossing a dry water course, some incredible large bamboo trees looming overhead and then finally following the bottom of the dry water course out to a road again. But that was not the end of any so-called “extreme hashing”…

Back into some brush and fields of long grass. Thank God for Yuri running back and forth to take pictures (she must run twice as much as anybody else!…) and keeping Bullit and I on trail, or I would be hopelessly lost and left behind… We reach what is surely the extreme highlight of the run, a chicken-wire fence to be climbed, where some maniac has written “Hash Heroes” – no doubt the co-hare, as the wonderful hare would never have done this to us….

Across another open dirt field and ha ha, one more extreme obstacle, now down and under another fence, scraping our backsides in the dirt. And now catching up to some more of the pack, and finally on-on through a group of beautiful, spacious and well laid out temples, a large white pagoda apparently under renovations with scaffolding up the sides, then finally “On In” back across one ornate khlong bridge and into the back of what I was later told is still a Royal Wat? The very last late dusk glimmer of light on the top of the temple buildings looks beautiful and serves as the ending exclamation point of an excellent run, as we are back out to the main road and On In to the restaurant…

A very relaxing cool-down with amber liquid flowing and delicious nibbles, including some freshly fried spring rolls and spicy sauce from Kim, delicious! The circle is called and the consensus is an excellent run by the hare and co-hare and down downs awarded. the Senator steps in to serve as RA, and various punishments are handed out, including some bizarre accusation that I was an FRB at some point in the run, lol! The rising price of gold is noted, and all those wearing gold chains or jewelry are given down-downs for being such clever investors. Tits of the Week goes to Tinker for some major infraction, probably manufactured, as he simply deserved it on general principle!

On On On to the restaurant for a delicious dinner of various customary Thai dishes, lots more beer flowing and a lengthy discussion with Snowy and others about the challenges of multiple private companies and consortiums building urban rail systems in New York, London and now Bangkok, finally leading to mention of the former “Hopeless” project (aka Hopewell) and why there are still some random old concrete pedestals for roads and railways cluttering up the Bangkok landscape.

But at last the night wears on and we all head for the exits and another wonderful Wednesday evening with the Bangkok Harriettes is concluded…. On On!

Run 1985 Wednesday 26 February 2020

Venue: Bangkok Yai, Baan Wang Derm
Hare: Mongolian Crotch

We were excited. Woody was hare and no doubt Kevin roger me would be there to advise. Whispering in her ear. Easy to get to. Just sit quietly on the MRT trying not to cough or sneeze. Mask on or off. Does it matter? Exit 1 then 300m to a rustic car park. Welcoming chalk messages on the road.

Wat Arun not far away. A very big river crossing to Dusit? A city run of course but taking advantage of the MRT extension beyond Hua lumpong. Where would the trail take us? Patpong the GM looked around, all ready? Ok and away we went. A good bunch of some FRBs – Etan, whoremonger, patpong, yuri, phonphen man, checkless and KC. Bullitt doing very well. Where was gung pet? Pussy corona arriving 29 mins late. Into a rabbit Warren of tiny alleys and klong paths. The checks were good being at difficult crossroads. Well marked. Lots of cats and a few dogs.

Catlee was amazing. Our wonder woman short cutting by leaping from roof top to rooftop. Mini rocket Yuri ran twice the distance having to take photos from the back to the front and back again. Putting KC to shame.

Woody as RA lovely as usual. Looking sideways at our visitor from Pnom Phen!!!

Checkless gets a drink for beating KC. Tinker for letting his trousers fall down. KC for scaring the locals with chattering teeth which could be heard for at least 100m. Then TOTW to our sex tourist from Pnom Phen.

Run 1984 Wednesday 19 February 2020

Venue: Prakanong, condo Sukhumvit Plus
Hare: Mayli ‘Hot Chili’

A run sooo goood I just had to do it twice…

Good job to our Hare Hot Chili and Co Hare Khlong Dam for a setting a wonderfully balanced trail that will satisfy all but the most hard core amongst us.

Starting off the hard tarmac of Prakanong was perfect to warm up to what lies ahead……..veggie shopping…….

Pom and Kung.. so confident in their running prowess that they felt compelled to stop by the Talad Nat, buy some cauliflower, do some price haggling and let us through just to make it more interesting.

The front runners, having ran this area thousands of times before knew we were inevitably going across the Khlong and went straight for the bridge, missing all the market action. This will eventually lead to the endless bitching about the trail being too short.

Off to the otherside of the Khlong and things start to fall apart….for me atleast. With the directional remnants of chalk and paper all over the place, with some dating back to the last Halloween run of god knows which year, I had to rely and infinite wisdom and masterful sense of direction of Boob-a-Lube.

Expertly maneuvering in between posts, weaving through traffic and making completely uneducated guesses we have successfully missed the trail by over a kilometer.

With rest of the pack on paper, trudging on open fields, punching through concrete walls and over a kilometer behind us, we triumphantly claimed victory in just 38 mins with just under 5 km to show for.

After bitching and complaining with our lovely hares on how short it was and how inaccurate our GPSs were, we were overcome with guilt and felt the need validate our stupidity and re run the trail doing the same lame ass assumptions and mistakes. We ended up on the same trail thereby confirming what has been known all along –

♪♪…that we are stupid, we’re so f_cking stupid, if it wasn’t for our mother we’d be a spot …♪♪……

Our Grand Mistress “Sizzler” welcome a new boot from Singapore – “Bay” while our prick of the week Khlong Dam watches on.

Run 1983 Wednesday 12 February 2020

Venue: Pattanakarn 25, Krua Rim Mong
Hare: 4×2

Going, Going, Pattana-Gone!… Or – Concrete and Khlongs and Crossings, oh my!…

After first walking the length of Sathorn and Wireless Roads in the mid-day sun to meet up for a ride with Malinee, I felt like I had sweated enough already for today, so did I really need to do the run too?… Just sitting and sipping a cold beer from 5:15 pm onwards sounded about the right pace for me.

But after cooling off and arriving at the run site, a fine crowd of enthusiastic Harriettes and harriers are gathered, a reasonably balmy evening beckoned, and so with some minimal guidance about chalk and paper and short and long routes from the hare, On-On and off we go into the wilds of Pattanakan. A somewhat in-city run to be expected, but off of main roads enough to escape the worst fume-sucking tendencies…
Passing northwards under Rama IX road, discriminating against us taller people as Shaggy noted, crouching under low bridges several times, a couple of checks kept the pack close early on, and then we all spread out along a series of khlongs and concrete walkways, reminding runners of those days of yore when Krung Thep was still the “Venice of the East.” It would be nice if the BMA would undertake a plastic and garbage removal effort and clean the canals up again, but surely just wishful thinking…

At one point a pack of Harriettes goes running by us at a high speed pace, giving us incentive to chase after, but then leaving us in their dust… One particularly tricky khlong-side walkway was well-overgrown and difficult to navigate, culminating in what the hare no doubt thought was the highlight, a metal gate stuck open across the walkway, putting many of us in peril of taking a dive into the fetid waters, but all managed to survive the obstacle course apparently.

Then back under Rama IX Road, crouching low and again punishing the taller types, a quick dash across the train tracks with a passenger train approaching about 60 seconds away… then southward along further concrete khlong pathways, occasional road crossings, dodging a few crazy motorcyclists and cars, most checks already broken by the FRBs, so a nice continuous jog/walk with Shaggy where we seemingly solved all the problems of the world, including the spread of Coronavirus, the death of democracy in America, Britain’s recovery from its Brexit hangover, etc., etc. – now if only they would put us Hashers in charge of the world, all would be well!…

After a nice wide final loop around the khlongs and concrete walkways, we come back to the On-In and a return to the always welcome Hash Piss truck! A fine run by the hare and co-hare all around, as recognized in the circle by the Grand Mistress. The pre-circle convivial social drinking was highlighted by some absolutely amazing and delicious fresh-cooked “tod man plaa” fish cakes by Kim ‘Normal’, aroy maak!

The circle commenced with a very appropriate moment of silence and prayer for victims of the Khorat shootings first, and then down-downs administered to a few returners and a visitor from Belgrade or Rhode Island or somewhere. The Senator passed out further down-downs as RA, including to all the couples to help them celebrate Valentine’s Day, then moved quickly to the Tits of the Week. In the best tradition of one-party democracies, a single nominee was submitted, nominations closed and KC was unanimously voted Tits of the Week!

The On-On-On at the restaurant was quite enjoyable as always, nice outdoor table and no need for A/C, good and plentiful food, lots of beer and wine and good company. Tinker and our visitor were very careful to not talk or compare notes too much about growing up in Rhode Island, for fear it would turn out they grew up on the same street or were related or something… Once everybody was fully sated and comfortably relaxed, it was time to call On-On one last time and embark home into the night.

A very good run, great fun before, during and after the run, and one more wonderful evening with the Bangkok Harriettes, On-On!

Run 1982 Wednesday 5 February 2020

Venue: Bang Wa, Noodle Restaurant
Hares: Morning Glory and Boobalube

For those who took time to solve the checks, 10km was significantly more than the hare/co-hare combination indicated at the pre run circle. One suspected something amiss when co-hare Boob a Lube forced chalk on each runner with instruction to break checks at every opportunity in order to ensure all who started would be seen again before Thursday.

On out (and on in) crossed busy Ratchapreuk by pedestrian bridge before delving into semi urban settlements crisscrossed by klong paths, country homes and moo bans.

Initial back checks gave a flavour of tonight’s run, with their predictability encouraging walkers and slower runners to move from laggards to front runners at almost every check.

20 minutes in had City Girl and Nibbles discussing suitable short cuts back to the beer truck, whilst the rest of the group persevered mostly on concrete. Your scribe, a renowned front runner found that no matter how hard and fast one ran, one was continuously behind JM Auntie’s Crotch’s walking stick.

Trial makings were clear and accurate, particularly the big writing on a wall declaring “my co-hare is insane”.

Hash flashing Wiggler continuously zoomed ahead to capture the event, whilst Tom Yam Gung and visitor Pants Down set a disturbingly fast pace for Wednesday hashers. With synchronised check breaking they were congratulating the hare Morning Glory after 1 hour 10 minutes. Scribe arrived shortly after and noted the short cutters with beers in hand discussing techniques of running with the head, not the legs.

The circle unanimously confirmed an excellent run before RA Woody admonished beer penalties to commemorate the Thai response to Chinese viruses, Brits leaving the EU and how a young marriage matures, using Shaggy, City Girl, Short Shorts and Tinker as leading actors.
Tit of the week went unsurprisingly to Pants Down, whose disappointment became obvious on hearing that he had to remove and to return the girly garb after the event.

A dozen or so sat down to a fine ononon, choreographed by co-hare and his seemingly loving wife. An unstoppable barrage of homely food and cold beers flowed. An excellent hash evening with Marjorie and KC showing what can be achieved when you’ve f&ck all else to do all day.

Run 1981 Wednesday 29 January 2020

Venue: Ratchadapisek Soi 66
Hare: Tickler

This week’s run was from Ratchadapisek Soi 66, which most Hashers present thought was a new run site. However, it was revealed that in days of yore it was a popular location for trails set by Pitak ‘Pisstak’ C (R.I.P.) and by Narest ‘Nearest and Dearest’ R. Though now boxed in by expressways, moobans and electric train lines there still remains a small oasis of Hashable territory relatively close to the city.

About 20 Hashers gathered at the car park, including City Girl and Shaggy who have one of their many palaces nearby. We set off on a well marked trail, and before long your scribe was able to follow Pink Panther along a shortcut which enabled us walkers to catch up with the FRBs – well almost. After going alongside a filthy klong for a while we reached a klong T-junction where the trail went left under an extremely low bridge. It then wove its way through the remaining greenery and before long we were next to the collection of junk food outlets by the Expressway B10 toll plaza. From there it was a short run/walk back to the beer, though some of the Harriettes found the pull of the market too great to resist and almost missed the circle.

There was the usual social drinking before GM Sizzler called the pack to order. There were several nominations for Tits of the Week, including Nibbles and Normal for having a private circle, and Dripper for wearing a headscarf on the run that Tickler thought was gay. Dripper won the competition, and then Tickler arranged to meet him at a quiet bar he frequents on Silom Soi 4.

The circle was dismissed and Hashers adjourned to the Buzza Restaurant at the mouth of the soi. On the way to the restaurant Shaggy got a call from City Girl telling him that she’d arranged a motorcy taxi to take him to the restaurant in case he should go astray. Immediately after that a motorcy pulled up and whisked Shaggy away – to the restaurant?

Thanks to the hare for a very interesting retro run.

Run 1980 Wednesday 22 January 2020

Venue: Near Asok BTS
Hares: Sweetie and Rawhide

A big crowd has appeared for the birthday run of Sweetie, the intrepid (and very retired) pilot. Upon arrival, we found that Sweetie was assisted by the stalwart Hasher Rawhide. This had the looks of a good run.

Before unleashing the hounds, Sweetie offered complex instructions: there would be short, medium and long runs; someone else just set a run from this location last week, leading to multiple possible trails; when I flew in Nigeria, they needed a rope to keep the local girls away from the patrons in the bar; we will have different color chalk for different runs; flying over Borneo before invention of the compass was really something; if you see two different colored trails, then you should be on the medium run; and so on.

The pack set off, and before you know it, everyone was scattered in groups of no more than three hounds, all following different trails. Your scribe ended up doing a very interesting 10.5 km trail that apparently weaved multiple old Hash trails together. Starting from the restaurant at the Asok junction, it went south along the lake in Sirikit Park, then parallel to Rama IV inside the tobacco monopoly, before heading north and eventually making it onto the elevated pedestrian walkway following the canal. After crossing the expressway on the pedestrian walkway, the trail went down to ground level, and criss-crossed the Bon Kai community until popping out on Rama IV Road. Then the trail crossed Rama IV Road on a pedestrian walkway, and ran in the alleys, before eventually following the railroad tracks towards Khlongtoey. After crossing through the wet market, the trail returned to origin via a long stretch on Ratchadaphisek Road. Well done to all of the hares who contributed to this trail, including Sweetie and Rawhide!

After the run, the Grand Mistress called the circle, adeptly assisted by the always entertaining Senator. To everyone’s great surprise, the birthday boy himself, the hare, Sweetie, won the strongly contested “Tits of the Week” prize and donned the skirt and bra for everyone else’s amusement. Sweetie downed the huge “Tits of the Week” beer in no time, showing the rest of us that age is very much a relative term.

Thank you to Rawhide and Sweetie for a very nice evening of Hashing!

Run 1979 Wednesday 15 January 2020

Venue: Kampaeng Phet Road, Kanvela
Hares: Tinker and Short Shorts

This was a well thought out run by Tinkler and Short Shorts. The easy access by MRT, BTS, Beer Truck and car was commendable. Furthermore, the on sight, tried and trusted Suan Kanvela restaurant met expectations.

The pack set off with the ladies taking command until the first check which confounded the many with multiple possibilities and a false trail. Eventually the trail went back upon itself and the rest of the run went smoothly to the second check. The trail then continued on with the guidance of KC, through the campus and out to the new railway station, up along the tracks to an old hash bash haunt for a welcome beer stop.

By this point in time half the pack had short cutted back but those who stayed enjoyed their beverages for a last hoorah in a soon to be demolished venue. To my knowledge KC, Rawhide and the ladies were the only ones who continued to complete the run. The remaining drinkers accompanied Tinkler as the crow flies, back to the start. The front runners showed up considerably later than Tinkler had anticipated. Rawhide made his appearances just minutes before the circle was formed and all was concluded in good order.

Bloodhound.

Run 1978 Wednesday 8 January 2020

Venue: Chalerm Prakiat Soi 47
Hare: Rawhide

A great turn out for Rawhide’s run at Chalerprakiat Soi 47. The GM called the circle and the Hare explained the markings and what to expect, mentioning a “H4” mark that nobody understood.

“OnOn” shouted the GM and the pack set off on the trail with only a few non-runners looking after Ay the Hash Piss and a box of red wine. The trail crossed the usual rickety bridge at the end of the soi and onto the klong path. The front runners searched eagerly for a check but were not successful until 2km into the run.

The following checks did the job of keeping the Front Runners suitably confused and enabled the Mid Pack runners to catch up. Winding through the small alleys, dodging packs of dogs and rush hour traffic, the trail crossed over a main road and onto a winding klong path with many friendly locals and no dogs.

Most agreed that the second half of the run was the best, no traffic and open area with a slight breeze the cooled of the heat of the 8km trail. The FRB’s broke the checks and False Trails so that the mid Pack had an easy time and everybody arrived back at the A site within 20 minutes.
Boob-A-Lube and Selfie Queen were seen sprinting down the road in an effort to be first back, Boob taking the prize and making sure everybody knew.

The Hash snacks were excellent as usual, with a selection of fruit and a meat dish which everybody enjoyed along with lots of cold beer.
The Grand Mistress called the circle and charged a few Hashers before opening up for charges from the floor. TotW was awarded to Klong Dump who had foolishly tried to avoid paying the Run Fee and buying beer from 7-11.

Suan Irin was the location of the OnOnOn and the usual excellent food was served. In all, a great evening was had by all and thanks to the Hare for a great trail.

Run 1977 Wednesday 1 January 2020

Venue: The Port
Hare: Short Circuit, a.k.a. Semi-Conductor

Weather: Pleasant, perfect for running or strolling; darkness threatening. (The time of sunset is dictated by two factors – the earth’s tilt which makes the daylight hours longer or shorter, and to a lesser extent the fact that the earth’s orbit around the sun is an ellipse rather than a circle which makes ‘solar midday’ move. OK, got that? Just nod your heads. Now we can move on.)

First, there was an unusual instruction in the hares’ chalk talk: a U-turn. Anybody see it?

The first back-check was a bit long. Maybe Checkless solved it. Or maybe he didn’t, but he said he did. The trail took us along the road, past the main garden. There were quite a few back-checks and false trails. Despite that, the FRB’s (Pat Pom, Horney Vee and Vee, CoD Piece, City Girl and those other over-achievers) soon separated from the SCBs.

The trail took us in and out of the paths thru the greenery, on and off the walkways, climbed up and down poles and railings, all the good stuff you do in Prapadaeng. Many thanks to the gentlemen of the Bangkok Hash who helped the cripples up and over the rails.

It was a 7.3 km trail with checks that kept 4×2 and Hema somewhat together, bringing up the rear. KC fitted in and out of the back of the pack with the SCBs, not a testimony to a well-laid trail, but the result of KC’s signature style of blind overshooting, consternation, realization, and recovery. Somehow that got him to the virgin beer stop, while a bunch of other FRBs like Gringo, who refuse to follow KC, missed the beer stop completely. It is likely they short-cut the beer stop loop. Or maybe it was the tricky U-turn when they all stumbled blindly backwards? It was reported by Sizzler that only one FRB made the beer stop. The loneliness of the ling-distance runner, and then the reward.

Maybe the FRBs also missed the challenging raft? The surface didn’t look wet. The cohort bringing up the rear of the pack lined up nicely, No-No suppressed the urge to overload the raft, and we carried on through the public pocket park.

After the five-bottle beer stop (very much enjoyed, thank you hares), the trail crossed into and looped through the park, past the fountain (twice) and out past the guard and his Hounds from Hell.

I have no idea where we lost Som, Slippery When Wet, Off-Limits. Not sure if they made it across the river. They weren’t in sight on the On-In landing. The boatman on the return trip across the Maenam grossed quite a bit more than we thought reasonable, but what was the alternative?

The GM interrupted the beer and snacks banter, and called the circle. Cap’n Erik was hoping she’d announce that for the foreseeable future there would be no circle, just a lot of socialist drinking. Note to Sweetie: quiet socialist drinking.

Tinker was hoping that only brown bottles would be served. No more green beer. Fruit is out, salty snacks like crisps, peanuts, and pizza are in. (Great!)

Dream on. No such thing. Sizzler likes to run a circle exuberantly. KC shushed Jump Start when she turned on her ghetto-blaster. As usual, the hares found a few metres of virgin territory in the Green Lungs of Bangkok, and so it was acclaimed a good run. Returners were invited in for a tiny Harriettes’ beer, which keeps the run fees low. They were Hannah and Ass-Blaster (one medical tourist, one sex tourist, you decide which). There may have been announcements, actually more like questions, such as will there be a Hash Ball?

Nibbles and Normal teamed up to produce one of their amazing al-fresco OnOnOns, of which my favorite was Normal’s hang-lay, a northern beef dish. The yam pla duk foo, was tasty, everything was tasty, easy to wash down with beer.

The end of another good day in Bangkok. Thanks hares. (And Khun A and family.)

P.S. Snakebite and Rawhide both paid me 100 Baht to be mentioned in the write-up. So, OK, Hi Snakebite! Hi Rawhide!

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